• The Screengrab's Top Ten Worst...Movies...Ever!!!! (Part Seven)

    Hayden Childs' Worst Movies Ever (Part Two...plus 5 honorable mention bad movie haikus!)

    6. LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL (1997)



    Long ago I was happy and carefree, way back when Roberto Benigni was the sorta-annoying Italian guy from those Jim Jarmusch movies. He made funny jokes, I made funny jokes, everything was good, see?  But now that happiness is gone forever. The day that I saw Life Is Beautiful, my love - strike that, let’s say “tolerance” - of Benigni became a tearful nightmare. You could call it the day the clown cried. See, the premise of the movie is that Benigni is trying to convince his child that the Nazi concentration camp they are in is all a big, jokey game. Actually, that's only the second half of the movie. The first half is about Benigni trying to woo his lady through a bunch of wacky pratfalls. The second half is Benigni making light of the Holocaust through wacky pratfalls. It's the craziest genocide of a people ever! You'll laugh, cry, puke in horror, and never be able to watch Down By Law again!

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  • Take Five: Bad Cops

    Neil LaBute's new movie, Lakeview Terrace, opens this Friday.  Critical opinion is still split, but critical opinion will have its say soon enough about whether the director is returning to the promising form he showed in In the Company of Men and Your Friends and Neighbors, or whether he's just cranking out a cheap thriller because he wants to buy a new boat.  Lakeview Terrace finds Samuel L. Jackson, Hollywood's default angry black man, in the role of a mean-tempered, menacing L.A. cop who takes offense to an interracial couple (played by Patrick Wilson and Kerry Washington) who move in next door to him.  The idea of crooked cops has always been an appealing one to people who write thrillers; the idea of the very people charged with protecting the innocent being the ones who might hurt them has powerful appeal, and plenty of filmmakers -- Alfred Hitchcock comes immediately to mind -- have put their ambivalent feelings about the police front and center in their movies.  By the same token, however, due to the strict content restrictions of post-Code Hollywood, it was a taboo subject for decades; with very few exceptions, a crooked or evil cop was one of the very few things it was absolutely verboten to show on screen.  When the code era passed, almost as if to make up for lost time, dozens of scriptwriters and directors began to explore the idea of the cop who betrayed the ideals he was sworn to uphold, and the bad cop genre was born.  Here's five of the best.

    THE ASPHALT JUNGLE (1950)

    John Huston's masterful ensemble picture about a daring, carefully calculated jewel theft gone awry is one of the greatest noir films ever made, with an incredible cast (headed by Sterling Hayden as the iron-willed thug Dix Handley and Sam Jaffe as the brilliant crook Doc Riedenschneider) and a taut, fatalistic atmosphere that keeps you glued to the screen.  But it's also a fine example of how movies had to creep around the concept of the bad cop at the height of the Hays Code:  although it's made clear that Barry Kelley's Lt. Ditrich is on the make, and that his accepting bribes from hoods helps crime flourish, the idea of a crooked policeman being so plainly presented ran afoul of the Code.  So a scene was filmed in which his incorruptible chief set him on the straight an narrow, and the end coda assures the viewer that such crooked cops are an aberration that will always be found out and punished, rather than the norm.

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  • When Good Directors Go Bad: The Wicker Man (2006, Neil LaBute)

    The setup: Horror-movie remakes are a dime a dozen, but one of the most potentially interesting director-project pairings was Neil LaBute’s The Wicker Man, which found the always-provocative writer-director taking a stab at the horror genre.

    What went wrong?: LaBute often gets taken to task for his misogyny, especially in films like In the Company of Men and The Shape of Things. I’ve always found the accusations a little reductive, but it’s hard to argue against them in regards to The Wicker Man. The story basically boils down to this: there’s a beehive-inspired community where women rule and men serve them silently, and the hero (Nicolas Cage) gets manipulated by the women into becoming a human sacrifice. The community's leader, Sister Summersisle, tells Cage's Edward Malus (pronounced "Male-us" — get it?) that "men have their uses. . . for procreation." Clearly, LaBute is trying to say something about men’s fears of female power, though it’s all so ridiculous that it’s hard to say what that may be.

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