She's worried about your unit, dad!

Read More...

In an editorial in The Wall Street Journal, a publication that often inspires readers to compare what's in its highly esteemed, award-winning news coverage to what's being professed on its op-ed page and come to the conclusion that somebody's nuts, has published an analysis of the state of the movie business by Ted Baehr, chairman of the Christian Film and Television Commission, and someone named Tom Snyder, who I'm guessing is neither the late, much-missed host of the Tomorrow show not the guy who did Dr. Katz, Professional Therapist, but really, who the hell knows anymore? If there's one thing I've picked up on in the course of doing this job, it's that life's full of surprises, put it that way. Anyway, Baehr is a big wheel with Movieguide, a family-values organization that promotes better living through morally correct movies or something. Part of his op-ed amounts to a press release announcing that Movieguide recently "held its 17th Annual Faith & Values Awards ceremony", where they saluted such entertainments as Fireproof, "which received a $100,000 Epiphany Prize for the Most Inspiring Movie of 2008, sponsored by the John Templeton Foundation." Even more valuable was the information we released in our Report to the Entertainment Industry, a detailed survey of what kinds of movies made money last year, and why. Regular readers of the Screengrab will immediately recall that we did our best to cover the Fireproof experience, because we, too, want to "help families who want to find movies and TV shows that stay within the perimeters of biblical principles", to use Baehr's pithy phrasing, and because opportunities to update readers on the state of Kirk Cameron's career don't come along every day. But the most exciting news to come out of this year's Movieguide report on the state of the art is that Baehr and company have figured out how to keep the entertainment industry solvent in these perilous times. (If you can keep Kirk Cameron solvent, you can do anything.) "With media conglomerates, from Time Warner to Disney to News Corp., reporting big losses," write Baehr and Snyder, "few can afford to ignore proven recipes for box-office success. And when it comes to movies, what succeeds is capitalism, patriotism, faith and values...Once again, family-friendly, uplifting and inspiring movies drew far more viewers in 2008 than films with themes of despair, or leftist political agendas. Sex, drugs and antireligious themes were not automatic sellers, either. Among the 25 top-grossing movies alone, 14 out of 25 had strong or very strong Christian, redemptive and moral content, and nearly all had at least some such content."

These results are based on a close examination of "more than 250 major films from Hollywood studios and independents for their social, political, philosophical, moral and religious content. When all the information -- categorized by dozens of criteria -- is in a database, we calculate which movies took in the most money at the theatrical box office in America and Canada in 2008." We have no doubt that the good people at Movieguide have gone about their work with great devotion and seriousness of intent. But in their efforts to connect with the money changers of Hollywood, they may have come too close to embracing that time-honored but morally dubious practice known as Hollywood accounting.

Read More...

This week, a whole bunch of late-summer/early-fall releases are coming on DVD to help soothe the midwinter moviegoing blues.

Read More...

The second in my weekend mini-festival of movies made by and for people who hate people like me is Fireproof.  So widely is former TV star/religious fanatic/banana enthusiast Kirk Cameron associated with the movie that the theater I went to here in South Texas was advertising it as "Kirk Cameron's Fireproof".  As a thesis statement, this is something I'm eager to put to the test, but just the way it was phrased...is Kirk Cameron really that much of a draw?  Seeing the movie so advertised -- and I later discovered this theater was far from the only place where the movie was thus billed -- was, for me, akin to seeing a marquee reading "Bounthanh Xaynhachack's Appaloosa".  (It's also not entirely accurate:  Cameron didn't write or direct the film, and may not actually know what writing and directing are, as his claim that he was unable to kiss the female lead in Fireproof because she is not his wife suggests that he doesn't actually know what acting is.)  Still, like I said, this movie isn't made for me.  If there are lost millions for whom Kirk Cameron is a legit box office draw -- and the crowded house in the theater suggested that there just might be -- then for tonight, I would be one of them.

In Fireproof, Cameron plays a firefighter who is gradually falling out of love with his wife, played by Fireproof's Erin Bethea.  (Cameron's downright Dukakasian appearance when decked out in fireman gear that looks a size too big for him makes one question why it was chosen as his character's fictional profession, until you gradually realize that it's so they can cut to an occasional action-packed fire rescue as  respite from the constant relationship yackety blap.  That's right, Christian males:  this is a chick flick.)  The reasons are murky, though it's clearly implied that it's mostly her fault for getting on his nerves:  Cameron is relentlessly misogynistic in the movie, and seems to want to repair his marriage out of a sort of bloody-minded sense of obligation than because he actually cares for his wife.  In order to patch things up with the missus, Fireman Kirk decided to follow the teachings of a book called The Love Dare (originally just a made-up gimmick for the movie, now actually available as the producers sensed the presence of additional fleece on the flock); in the end, he learns to conquer his indifference and hostility and grudgingly love his life partner again.  

The biggest problem with Fireproof isn't that Cameron's character, who is named Caleb Holt and acts like it, is an unlikable jerk.  (We're constantly assured by the movie that he is a good person, generally by way of rescuing people from fires instead of just standing around watching them burn to death, but nothing in his behavior towards his wife, his family, his friends, or anyone who isn't actually engulfed in flames manages to convince you that he's not irredeemably schmucky.)  The biggest problem is that the movie is deadly dull.  One of the biggest problems with any message movie is that the message is generally thought by the filmmakers to be more important than the movie part, and that's the case here in spades.  Why should any of us give a shit if Caleb and Catherine can save their marriage, when the script gives us no reason to care about them and the actors give us no reason to like them?  Say what you will about An American Carol (for instance, you could say it sucks), but at least it wasn't boring.  

Read More...

Kirk Cameron is a born-again Christian evangelist and former teen star who believes that God sometimes miraculously grants the wishes of true believers. If you were Kirk Cameron and had some kind of movie career, you might believe it too. Those who were children or just had no lives during the 1980s may remember Cameron from the Alan Thicke sitcom Growing Pains. It was during the run of that series that Cameron, already well-established as the show's meal ticket, discovered religion and reportedly started throwing his weight around backstage, demanding script revisions when he was unhappy with their "moral content" and even sparking a rumor that he had a hand in the dismissal of a supporting cast member who had posed nude. (He also chose not to invite any members of his "TV family" to his wedding, a slight that he later apologized for.) In 1989, Cameron starred in a major feature film about heroic college debaters who appear before the Supreme Court and make an unanswerable argument against legalized abortion. (The film was called Listen to Me. Last year, when director Kasi Lemmons made a movie about a black ex-con turned radio DJ who connects with Washington, D.C. audiences and helps counsel them through the travails of the 1960s and early 1970s, it was called Talk to Me. In a comparison of the two titles, one might detect the key difference in conservative and liberal pop culture, in a nutshell.) Since that film bombed, Cameron has mostly focused on "Christian-themed" projects: he starred in the movie versions of the Left Behind books. Now he's starring in a new movie, Fireproof, "about a firefighter who saves his marriage by turning to God." As Julie Bloom reports in The New York Times, it was made for $500,000 by "an almost all-volunteer cast and crew" and in two weeks has made more than twelve million dollars. Miracles are breaking out all over.

Read More...

Eagle Eye gave the September box office a late bump, raking in $29 million in its first week. Yes, America, we have to start dealing with the fact that Shia LaBeouf is a movie star. The latest weepie adapted from the soggy Nicholas Sparks oeuvre, Nights in Rodanthe, landed at number two with $13.6 million, while last week’s champ, Lakeview Terrace, dropped to number three with $7 million. Somehow a Kirk Cameron movie called Fireproof finished fourth with $6.5 million. Perhaps this is the latest sign that the Rapture is nigh.

Of all the Marvel comics adaptations heading for the big screen, Thor is…well, it’s the latest one, anyway. And who better to bring this hammer-wielding blowhard to life than Mr. Shakespeare himself, Kenneth Branagh?

Read More...