Look, I get it. I do have a sense of humor, you know. If I got to choose my own superpower, it wouldn’t be freakin’ gills, that’s for sure. And I understand that there isn’t a whole hell of a lot of crime going on underwater – although did you ever stop to ask yourself why? My stats don’t lie. Besides, you wait until those polar ice caps start to melt and you’re wading hip-deep down Fifth Avenue. You’ll be wishing you had ol’ Aquaman on speed-dial then.

So, yeah, I knew I wasn’t going to see my name on Screengrab Salutes the Best & Worst Comic Book Movies of All Time (Parts One, Two, Three, Four, Five and Six). And I knew I was gonna get sick of all the Watchmen hype: the Screengrab Review, the Other Screengrab Review, The Final Countdown, Saturday Morning Watchmen, Dave Gibbons on Watchmen, The Science of Watchmen and on and on it goes. But I sure as hell wasn’t expecting this. I mean, come on! Who do I have to blowfish to get a movie deal already?

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Our fearless – and quite possibly senseless – movie janitor is watching every movie on the IMDb Bottom 100 list. Join us now for another installment of Unwatchable.

Unwatchable Week rolls on with one of our periodic substitutions. The actual #49 movie on the IMDb Bottom 100 list I’ve been working from all along is the 1989 Bo Derek sex comedy Ghosts Can’t Do It. Oh, how I wish I could find this movie, but there doesn’t appear to be any trace of its existence left on earth besides a handful of reviews and a four-second YouTube clip of Derek in a wet t-shirt. This is a tragedy that any self-respecting film preservationists should devote all the resources at their disposal toward rectifying. After all, we’re talking about a movie that swept the Razzies, taking home Worst Picture, Worst Actress (Derek) and Worst Director (John Derek). I demand a fully restored Criterion Collection edition by year’s end, but in the meantime, we have to find a replacement for today’s Unwatchable installment.

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It’s a good week for fans of classic comedy of both the big-screen and televised varieties. Plus, the Christmas DVD season officially begins.

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