re: The Cliffs Notes to Tom Cruise

nickpotter — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 18:58:19 GMT

I feel the need to share with you. I lived next to the Celebrity Center for 4 months a few years ago. I was renting a 1 bedroom apartment in the slumlord owned (seriously) slowly dilapidating building directly south of it.

I was on the third/top floor. My bedroom and bathroom looked out onto the parking lot of said facility. On several occasions I woke up to take my morning piss and was treated to a very funny sight.

There would be about 20 new recruits on the asphalt doing "team building exercises." Like standing in a row all facing one way, with the person at the end turning around to slap the next one on the palms and so on up the line until the person at the front ran to the back and started it over again. They also did jumping jacks and other calisthenics while cheering and clapping. Apparently they treat new recruits like they're in summer camp.

All this reminded me of a study of endorphins and the religious experience. You know the stereotypical Baptist tent revival with shouting and clapping and people "feeling the spirit"? That comes from the exercise, which raises endorphins, which causes some euphoria, coupled with the expectation for said feeling to occur. Seriously, first thing I thought when I saw that shit.

And for anyone living in the LA area, the Celebrity Center offers a free Sunday brunch a friend of mine went to. They gave him some food, then locked him in while they showed an indoctrination video. Fun times. Another guy I know went to meet with some of them and was assaulted by hot women telling him to join. they know what they're doing.

I also saw Owen Wilson driving out of there once. And a homeless person in the area informed me John Travolta controls the missiles housed under the building.

It was a fun 4 months.

Oh, and I used to work down the street from the L. Ron Hubbard life exhibit, which is in a 15 story building. Every morning they bus in the SciTi workers in their blue shirts and black pants and they literally sprint to the front door. They also hose out empty file cabinets at midnight in the street. And chain smoke on their breaks. Gotta keep them busy doing something I guess.

re: The Cliffs Notes to Tom Cruise

Isis Uptown — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 16:12:30 GMT

Jenna Elfman, not "Jenny."