re: All-Night Mockbuster Marathon

adam christ — Tue, 13 May 2008 17:53:20 GMT

i'm inspired by this feature or, rather, i feel moderately less ashamed of my own lifestyle for having read it. but life is meaningless without naysayers, so here you go:

you chose the wrong quatermain! you should have hit up the 1986 CLASSIC, lost city of gold. i'm sure there were skulls in there somewhere, possibly even crystals.

in addition to richard chamberlain in the title role, it featured a 28 year old sharon stone (yowza) and no less than james earl jones as the perfunctory racist caricature of indigenous peoples everywhere. in his character’s defense, he did carry a huge battle axe and he chopped a bunch of shit up real good.

elaborate sets, a smattering of special effects, hot locations and a cast of thousands: sure it was a terrible movie, as chintzy as a korean iphone, but at least in the 80s studios still thought they had to spend some money to do things on the cheap.