
Before we all put on our moisture-wicking athletic socks and prepare to watch eight billion hours of Olympics coverage, let's take a look back at some top stories of the week:
We watched a bunch of Calvin Klein Obsession ads and decided not to go to film school.
We marveled at scenes from the never-made Buffy the Vampire Slayer: The Animated Series and wished there were more.
We found out what happened to Joe Schmo and Joe Millionaire, and it wasn't pretty.
We learned that Charlie Sheen earns twice as much as Mariska Hargitay -- and that Lauren Conrad "earns" 30 times as much as us.
We watched supposedly funny campaign ads by John McCain and Barack Obama, and decided that at least one of them should get a new day job. (Preferably, one that doesn't involve Tyra Banks impersonating your wife.)
We watched as Nashville Star and Last Comic Standing and So You Think You Can Dance crowned new winners, and wished we were watching American Idol instead. Especially after a brand-new Claymate entered the world.
We saw
two Christian Slaters, after almost forgetting there was even one.
We wondered if it's possible to make singer Joss Stone unattractive enough for English royalty.
We realized that no Bob Saget roast would be complete without Olsen-twin sex jokes, but were still kind of shocked by Uncle Jesse's.
We developed a crush on a newscaster. And saw a newscaster get an inappropriate crush of his own.
We got jailhouse survival tips from Jack Bauer.
We heard about some place overseas where a bunch of sporting events are about to begin.
Previously:
The Weekly Rewind: Baby, I Love Your Way