Er, we mean an orgy of TV, not an orgy on TV. But a huge number of new episodes and season premieres will be happening this evening. Here's what's in store for you, your couch and your TiVo:
ABC: Ugly Betty She'll have to decide between her two boyfriends, and maybe find out how many more years those braces need to stay on.
ABC: Grey's Anatomy Now that Dr. McDreamy and Dr. McSkinny are back together, Nurse McNobody turns out to be... well, it's kind of a spoiler, even though it's been in every ad for the past three weeks. Hope all the talking about it won't distract them from their complicated medical procedures, like always!
CBS: Survivor: Gabon Host Jeff Probst is worried about how he'll look now that the show's going high-def. Dude, you're not the one who's going to end up 30 pounds lighter and covered in filth. As for the contestants, we hope they've read this.
NBC: My Name Is Earl Seth Green alert! This show may not seem so new and fresh anymore, but it sure gets good guest stars. Plotwise, we think Earl's still working on that list or something.
NBC: The Office Woo-hoo! Amy Ryan's back, Michael's still nuts, Jim and Pam still can't put together a decent PB&J, and we can't wait.
NBC: ER Bad stuff happens! It's the last season! We haven't watched this show in years!
CW: Smallville Last week, Clark applied for a job at a major metropolitan newspaper and they made him a reporter, just like that! Did he even finish college? Don't they know blogs are where it's at these days? And when did Chloe become the hottest character on this show?
CW: Supernatural Spooky! (That's all we got.)
Fox: Kitchen Nightmares Our nightmare is that some jerkwad chef came over to our place and screamed for an hour, but that's just us.
PBS: American Masters: The Warner Brothers These guys went to Hollywood, and 100 years later they made The Matrix. Good times.
