The Remote Island

Hef's New Hotties Are So Cute, It's Criminal

Posted by Ben Kallen

 

You know how when an older guy loses the security of his long-term relationship, he sometimes makes poor decisions about the women he lets into his life next?

It looks like that may be the case with ever-lovin' octogenarian Hugh Hefner, who recently sent "girlfriend" and Girls Next Door stalwart Holly Madison off into the wide world outside Holmby Hills, California. And with things reportedly cooling off between him and the other corners of his triangle, Kendra and Bridget, he recently decided to shake things up by bringing aboard 19-year-old twins Karissa and Kristina Shannon.

Unfortunately, these sisters may not be the sweet girl-next-door types he was hoping for -- unless you happen to live near a women's prison.

According to TMZ.com,  the sisters "were both busted by St. Petersburg, Fla. police for felony aggravated battery back in January. They both received probation and were ordered to pay restitution to the two victims." And Karissa also has a misdemeanor battery charge on her record from the year before.

So what happened? Here's the story as TMZ heard it from a relative of the alleged victim:

The twins went out after work with one of their Wing House co-workers, Erica Civello, to a house party. Kristina allegedly started arguing with Erica, and Karissa came up behind her and hit Erica over the head with a bottle of beer and they both "jumped her." Erica suffered a concussion.

Nice! Watch your back, Hef -- and your head. Those Party Jokes have to come from somewhere.


Surprisingly hot mugshots from TMZ.com

Previously:
Hugh Hefner's Cartoon Breakup

 


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About Ben Kallen

Ben Kallen is an entertainment, health and humor writer who's been lectured to by Sidney Poitier, argued with by Lea Thompson and smiled at by Jennifer Connelly. He's the coauthor of The No S Diet and author of The Year in Weird, along with hundreds of magazine articles. He lives near the beach in Los Angeles, just like the gang from Three's Company.

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    Ben Kallen is an entertainment, health and humor writer who's been lectured to by Sidney Poitier, argued with by Lea Thompson and smiled at by Jennifer Connelly. He's the coauthor of The No S Diet and author of The Year in Weird, along with hundreds of magazine articles. He lives near the beach in Los Angeles, just like the gang from Three's Company.

    Nicole Ankowski has lived in Ohio, Oakland, and on the high plains of South Dakota, but is now proud to call Brooklyn home. She wrote for alternative weekly papers in the first two states, and tried to learn Lakota in the last. (The vowels can be tricky.) She just earned her MFA in Creative Writing and has been published in Beeswax literary journal. She is unable to resist good writing or bad TV.

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