The Remote Island

Zac Efron: Really? Star of the Year?

Posted by Lindy Parker

 

Listen, it's not like we hate Zac Efron.  Sure, the overly disheveled hair gives us pause, but, you know, mostly we feel like he's harmless.  But Us Weekly's star of the year?  Has he done anything this year besides High School Musical 3 and the movie version of Hairspray?  Granted we're not actually sure what criterion Us Weekly uses to determine star of the year -- is it a tabloid thing?  The most pictures in Disney Channel Magazine?  Most ridiculous abs west of the Mississippi? (Okay, we felt a little cougar-ish on that last one)...

For the record, we're not here to begrudge anyone success, we're just saying if we were forced to pick a celebrity that might be an alien using extraterrestrial mind-control to propel their earthly popularity, Efron would be right behind Tom Cruise on our list of suspects.  Maybe that's why Tom's so quick to offer up advice to the HSM stars?  Uh huh.  Yeah.  Just put that in your pipe...


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About Lindy Parker

Lindy Parker has worked as a ghostwriter, editor, dance instructor and a purveyor of dreams, one beer at a time. She now writes for nerve.com's TV blog, "The Remote Island." She loves Charles Dickens and Gabriel Garcia Marquez and also, straight-to-video releases with Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. It's possible she reads more teen fiction than she should. She hails from Los Angeles, her hometown and soul mate, but she lives in Brooklyn, the fling she'll never forget.

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    Lindy Parker has worked as a ghostwriter, editor, dance instructor and a purveyor of dreams, one beer at a time. She loves Charles Dickens and Gabriel Garcia Marquez and also, straight-to-video releases with Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. It's possible she reads more teen fiction than she should. She hails from Los Angeles, her hometown and soul mate, but she lives in Brooklyn, the fling she'll never forget.

    Olivia Purnell left Ohio for sunny Los Angeles; then found that she couldn’t ignore New York City’s call, and brought herself to Brooklyn where she has worked with GenArt, BlackBook, the School of American Ballet, and finished an M.A. in Creative Writing from N.Y.U. She loves one-liners with sting and hates the stench of the subway in the summer. That said, she can’t get enough of either.

    Jake Kalish is a freelance journalist and humorist whose work has appeared in Details, Maxim, Stuff, New York Press, Spin, Blender, Men's Fitness, Poets and Writers, and Playboy, among other publications. He is also the author of Santa vs. Satan: The Official Compendium of Imaginary Fights.

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    Ben Kallen is an entertainment, health and humor writer who's been lectured to by Sidney Poitier, argued with by Lea Thompson and smiled at by Jennifer Connelly. He's the coauthor of The No S Diet and author of The Year in Weird, along with hundreds of magazine articles. He lives near the beach in Los Angeles, just like the gang from Three's Company.

    Nicole Ankowski has lived in Ohio, Oakland, and on the high plains of South Dakota, but is now proud to call Brooklyn home. She wrote for alternative weekly papers in the first two states, and tried to learn Lakota in the last. (The vowels can be tricky.) She just earned her MFA in Creative Writing and has been published in Beeswax literary journal. She is unable to resist good writing or bad TV.

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