Carmelita’s back! Thank the Lord; the lady of all ladies is back in the building. We lurve her. Besides the fact that Candis Cayne is fabulous as all hell, Carmelita makes Patrick Darling infinitely more interesting. Straight-laced politician type meets unbelievably stunning M to F, and happiness (read: drama) ensues? That’s a story we can get behind.
Know who else we can get behind? Nick George.
Warning: Gratuitous Peter Krause after the jump:
He’s just so adorable. Does anyone have a problem with the fact that we love a gratuitous snapshot? We thought not.
Now, on to the episode. Nick is having some Mommy issues this week. Nola Lyons, the hottest prosecutor on the planet, puts Nick’s biological mother on her witness list. Mind you, Mommy dearest lives near Paris and hasn’t spoken to Nick in 30 odd years. But she’s been chatting with the Darlings, or at least receiving what Leticia Darling refers to as “a small stipend.” That little stipend amounts to almost 11 mil over the course of thirty years. 11 million dollars. If anyone wants to give us a stipend, go ahead and leave your contact info in the comments section below.
Nick takes a little jaunt to Paris to figure out his abandonment issues (after all Mama George did leave him alone in the Darling lion’s den at the tender age of six), and also look into her testimony against Leticia. Although none of the real mama drama is resolved, Nick convinces his mom to keep her absentee ass in France where she belongs thereby issuing a cross continental bitch-slap to Nola and her witness list.
After said smack-down, Nola is feeling a little low (still looking fierce, though). Luckily she’s got the baby Darling, Jeremy, as a secret boyfriend. He brings her fav band, The Weepies, to her apartment for a private concert. If anyone wants to arrange private concert dates for us on a semi-regular basis apply in the comments section. Yup, just below the stipend donor candidates. Mmm-Hmmm.
Boyfriends who need not apply? Simon Elder. Karen Darling is still in his dapper clutches, bending to his every whim and will. We have the secret hope that Karen will emerge as a super undercover double agent, and blow Elder’s plans out of the water, whilst wearing some sort of Point of No Return Bridget Fonda wig and a cat suit armed with only a tazer and a whip. Somehow we think that dream may not come true. At least not this season.
What will happen this season? Patrick Darling and Carmelita! Reunited and it feels so good! This ep, Tripp Darling uses Carmelita to keep Patty D quiet about his wife’s crazy death, but we don’t care that she’s a tool of Tripp’s manipulation. We don’t care if she’s riding the exploitation express. As long as she’s in it for the long haul, wearing some Chanel, and maybe a conductor’s bonnet. Maybe.
