Well, Dostoyevsky's dead and Salinger's still in hiding, so the written word needs a new master. Stepping into that literary void... Tila Tequila, whose first tome, aptly titled Hooking Up With Tila Tequila, hits bookstores December 2nd. We know, that's a ways away, but we *just* heard about this, and we. Can't. Wait. Crossing off the days on our calendars kind of "can't wait." And shouldn't you be anxious for a book described by its publishers as a "provocative and playful guide to love, relationships, sex, fame, and being the life of the party." Huh?
But wait, there's more:
Tila's taboo-bending lack of inhibition has made her a trailblazer for the times, and there's no signs of slowing down this feisty four-foot-eleven wild child whose combination of sex appeal and accessibility has made her popularity unparalleled.
A trailblazer for the times. Like Barack Obama. And since when was "accessibility" a synonym for "bisexual whorishness"? Never mind that, here's just a little bit of what you get with your purchase: Tila's "unique brand of truthful advice," dispensed "Tequila-style." And just what is this Tequila-style advice? Well, she says when you finally have sex with your man/woman/whatever, you should "Get crazy! Fuck like a porno star!" Ah, words of wisdom, Miss Tequila. We look forward to your follow-up book, Tila Tequila's Guide To Venereal Disease.
-- Jake Kalish is the author of Santa vs. Satan: The Official Compendium of Imaginary Fights
