Tonight at 9 on the History Channel, a documentary on Albert Einstein - or, as we like to call him, Nerdbert Dorkstein. See how Einstein was totally bad at school when he was a kid too - and then, somewhere, your once-parallel paths diverged and he came up with the theory of relativity at 26, while you're attempting to postulate what the combination to your locker at the gym might be.
-- Jake Kalish is the author of Santa vs. Satan: The Official Compendium of Imaginary Fights