It’s Thanksgiving weekend in Manhattan, which, on Gossip Girl, seems to be the time when the drama-mongers really pull out all the stops -- remember last year and all that ruckus Blair stirred up at the Central Park skating rink with her father's boyfriend? Since Cyrus (Eleanor’s Princess Bride boyfriend) moved into the Waldorf brownstone last week, he's brought with him an armful of new holiday fun guarenteed to throw tradition-loving Blair off-balance. However, when Deroda lets slip news of Eleanor and Cyrus' secret engagement to Blair, you can almost see the holiday start to go up in smoke before our very eyes...
At school, Jenny's still MIA and Dan's still giving Nate the literal cold shoulder. As it happens, Jenny's been staying with Eric at the Bass Palace, but Bart and Lily come home early from their vacation and blow the whistle on that particular secret. Lily convinces Rufus to let Jenny stay with them so Lily can try and reason with her as an alternative to Rufus roaring into her house, guns a-blazin' to drag Jenny home by her hair.
After taking his leave from the Humphrey loft, Nate's staying with his mom while her friends are in Aspen. However, he barely has time to contemplate his next move before his mom surprises him with the news that his dad is back in town and wants them all to move to the Caribbean. Sure, the Caribbean -- Nate'll just pick up and leave his life, his school, his friends, and his college dreams to live a life on the lam. Good plan, jackass.
Artist Aaron is making dinner for Serena who, in turn, is spending every waking moment drowning in neurosis about their open relationship. Turns out, her worries are over because cooking dinner is actually Aaron's way of announcing his intent to be a one woman man, and also his sobriety. Serena immediately goes to work burying her sordid past from his view and declaring herself to be reborn as a teetotaler.
Back at the Bass Palace, Bart drops creepy hints to Eric of his boyfriend's infidelity which, understandably, prompts Eric to wonder how Bart is privy to this information. Chuck agrees to take Eric into the inner sanctum of Bart's office and give him the combination to the safe where Bart keeps all his secrets hidden away. The safe opens to reveal a number of sinister looking files bearing the names of Eric, Serena and Lily, as well a a stack of gold bricks (seriously, there were bricks of gold in there) and some sort of bat-phone.
Despite Blair's attempts to salvage the sanctity of her Thanksgiving traditions, Cyrus persists in disrupting them -- turns out his Turkey Day traditions lean more toward a custom-cooked dinner at the Grammercy Tavern, and less toward a home-cooked meal in the family dining room. Blair decides the best way to stage a protest of this particular offense is with her absence, and flees to Central Park to feed the ducks. We've got to say, we're kind of with Blair on this -- hearing about their engagement with everyone else does seem a little hurtful.
Dan and Rufus are embarking on the most depressing shopping trip ever, collecting groceries for a Thanksgiving dinner for two. Dan runs into Aaron in the dairy aisle and advises him against bringing gourmet cheese as a holiday gift for Serena, and suggest French wine as a better choice. Aaron gets huffy about Serena not being a drinker, and Dan laughs, and inadvertantly drops Georgina the criminally insane into the mix. Aaron gets suspicious and also, oddly self-righteous. Frankly, we're not only bored by any plotline involving Aaron, we have an actual physical reaction to him. Please, please. Let his days be numbered.
Vanessa runs into the ellusive Nate dropping off a thank you note for Rufus at the cafe. Meaningful looks are shared, buried feelings dug up -- Nate really does jump from flower to flower, doesn't he? But, before Vanessa has time to process the encounter, an FBI agent pops up to inform her about Mr. Archibald's evil plan to hold Nate and his mom for ransom from his in-laws. Vanessa's not really equipped to deal with this kind of twisted scenario, so she calls Chuck for back up.
Aaron shows up at the Bass' for a pre-dinner meet-and-greet, and all signs point to Serena being a former lush. Dan and Rufus arrive in search of Jenny, and Aaron accuses Dan of spreading lies about Serena. Poor Dan admits to lying to get Aaron off Serena's back, and once again Serena is inappropriately scrupulous about plucking splinters from the eyes of others, while ignoring the redwood in her own.
Chuck and Vanessa stage an intervention with Nate and get him to hear the FBI agent out. Nate confronts his Dad about his cruel plans, and incites him to step up, turn himself in, and stop being such self-absorbed ass. Mr. Archibald caves to the guilt and the FBI lead him away in handcuffs. Nate and Vanessa agree to try dating again, Nate and Chuck go off to get drunk, and Vanessa heads back to Brooklyn.
Speaking about self-absorbed asses, Jenny's a ball of nerves over her missing emancipated minor paperwork and callously brushes off Eric's discovery that Bart has a private investigator tailing his family and friends wherever they go. Rufus finds Jenny, declares his unconditional love, and takes his leave without a fight. You know what they say, kids: if you love someone let her go, if she comes back to you, she's yours forever. Although, truthfully that particular maxim sounds a little weird in a father-daughter context.
Lily, Serena, and Eric confront Bart about the private investigator scenario. Bart is unapologetic, Lily is incensed and hustles the kids out the door to do their traditional Thanksgiving debrief over a plate of fries in the diner. Serena bolts to find Aaron at the Grammercy Tavern hootenanny and tries to come clean about her party-girl past. Aaron says he doesn't care, he wants to know the new her, blah, blah. What a tool.
Blair finds Jenny crying her discouraged eyes out on the steps of the Bass Palace, and tries to comfort her with the knowledge that Rufus loves her with a parental devotion Blair herself has yet to experience. Speak of the devil, Eleanor pulls up in a taxi to wrap a shivering Jenny in her coat and make nice with Blair. We can only assume Eleanor's gesture toward Jenny is alludes to their future reconciliation. Blair and Eleanor return to the party only to find her father has come to town to surprise her and give her mother his blessing on her marriage. As usual, Blair's fury is calmed by the power of the holiday spirit.
Eric and Lily find the diner a little depressing without Serena, and Lily decides to take the party to the Humphrey loft, but not before Eric admits to reading her file and discovering the truth about Lily's teenage stint in a sanitarium. Hmmmm. She and Eric arrive in Brooklyn to find Vanessa giving Jenny a ho's-over-bro's speech and hugging it out. However, no sooner has forgiveness been given then Vanessa finds a letter from Nate professing his affection amid Jenny's unopened mail. In an unorthodox move, Vanessa pockets the letter before Jenny can find it. Oh Lord, what a tangled web.
