The Remote Island

Bret Michaels Wonders How The Hell You Wear A Seatbelt In A Hot Tub

Posted by Jake Kalish

 

Look at him. He's confused. And his hat is on fire...

Bret Michaels was reportedly "frolicking" (emphasis on the last two syllables) in a limo hot tub with three foxy (or at least surgically enhanced) ladies. (Scroll down in the link for the story, kids - you got to work for the good stuff, as Botox Michaels and his Plastic Princesses well know)

So Michaels is in his limo hot tub, 'cause who isn't, when the cops pull him over for not wearing a seatbelt. How the hell you gonna wear a seatbelt in a hot tub? Besides, the fake breasts in his face surely would have saved him if the limo crashed. 

Although, note to selves...perhaps money can be made on designer limo hot tub seatbelts. And that's why the terrorists hate us. 

PREVIOUSLY:

Rock Of Love 3: Get On The Rock Of Love Bus

Bret Michaels Not Involved In Fatal Car Crash, Just So Everyone's Clear

 

 


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About Jake Kalish

Jake Kalish is the author of Santa vs. Satan: The Official Compendium of Imaginary Fights http://www.amazon.com/Santa-vs-Satan-Compendium-Imaginary/dp/0307406709/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1208807460&sr=8-1

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    Lindy Parker has worked as a ghostwriter, editor, dance instructor and a purveyor of dreams, one beer at a time. She loves Charles Dickens and Gabriel Garcia Marquez and also, straight-to-video releases with Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. It's possible she reads more teen fiction than she should. She hails from Los Angeles, her hometown and soul mate, but she lives in Brooklyn, the fling she'll never forget.

    Olivia Purnell left Ohio for sunny Los Angeles; then found that she couldn’t ignore New York City’s call, and brought herself to Brooklyn where she has worked with GenArt, BlackBook, the School of American Ballet, and finished an M.A. in Creative Writing from N.Y.U. She loves one-liners with sting and hates the stench of the subway in the summer. That said, she can’t get enough of either.

    Jake Kalish is a freelance journalist and humorist whose work has appeared in Details, Maxim, Stuff, New York Press, Spin, Blender, Men's Fitness, Poets and Writers, and Playboy, among other publications. He is also the author of Santa vs. Satan: The Official Compendium of Imaginary Fights.

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    Ben Kallen is an entertainment, health and humor writer who's been lectured to by Sidney Poitier, argued with by Lea Thompson and smiled at by Jennifer Connelly. He's the coauthor of The No S Diet and author of The Year in Weird, along with hundreds of magazine articles. He lives near the beach in Los Angeles, just like the gang from Three's Company.

    Nicole Ankowski has lived in Ohio, Oakland, and on the high plains of South Dakota, but is now proud to call Brooklyn home. She wrote for alternative weekly papers in the first two states, and tried to learn Lakota in the last. (The vowels can be tricky.) She just earned her MFA in Creative Writing and has been published in Beeswax literary journal. She is unable to resist good writing or bad TV.

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