Jeremy, Jeremy, Jeremy, how did you not see this coming, buddy? Of course the producers of Speed-The-Plow are going to investigate your claim of mercury poisoning. Of course they’re going to try to sue your pint-sized ass for all the cash they loose on the play in the wake of your impromptu departure.
Because let’s be honest . . .
You’re little mercury story is ridiculous. It’s as though you didn’t have your homework and you told the teacher that your pet lynx ate it. Not only do pets not eat homework (unless your arithmetic has been rubbed down with bolognaise), but are you really claiming to own a lynx? Where do you keep this lynx? Do you take it for walks? Is its fur as silky and manageable as say, a snow leopard, or a jaguar? How does your lynx compare to a jaguar?
These are all questions that your teacher/producers will ask when you tell a really silly tale, such as: I got mercury poisoning from eating a wheelbarrow full of sushi, a whole big ass wheelbarrow.
Does it suck to have to pay producers potential loses on a production that you starred in? Yes. But will it teach you to, say, develop a fake illness that makes sense? We hope so.
(nypost.com)
Previously:
No One Believes Jeremy Piven Eats That Much Sushi
Jeremy Piven Drops Out of David Mamet Play, Prompting Mamet to Suggest Piven Should be Shoved Up Someone’s Ass