First things first, Katie Holmes -- We know we may have had some questions, and even -- dare we say -- criticisms about you in the past, but for once, you'll hear nothing but embarassingly gushy flattery from us. Get ready, here we go: "That dress is fabulous! We LOVE it! You're fabulous! That dress makes us love YOU!" Just one thing though, are your shoes the same color as your feet, because it's almost like you have weird pointy fin-feet -- like elf ears attached to your ankles.
Okay, Katrina Bowden -- It's not that we hate this dress -- we don't love it, but it's mostly, you know, fine. It's more the fact that you are a) alarmingly skinny (look! you're metallic gladiator sandals won't even stay up on your ankles!), and b) that your legs are a distinctly different shade of spray-on butterscotch than the rest of you. We're unsettled by that, we can't help it.
Eva Longoria -- The thing is, if your going to go with sherbert tones, it's probably best to go with a less is more philosophy. Put another way, the demi ruffle is a little much for us. We feel like that much salmon fabric paired with a bedazzled neckline should be saved for The Miss America Pagent, which, as we said earlier today, we neither watch nor care about.
Kate Winslet -- Have we already said congrats on winning two golden globes? Because if not, congrats again -- you deserve them. At first glance, we sort of like this dress. The color is stunning and the sillouette is quite nice on you, except that when you get to your knees, it looks a bit as though the photo has been cut off and the bottom half replaced with a different dress of the same color -- is it supposed to look like that? Also, is that lycra?
Angelina Jolie -- Listen, nobody loves you more than us, and we'd like nothing more than to tell you how great you look, but the truth is, this dress looks a like something we'd expect to see on Thyne Daly. Even your hair is weirdly matronly.
Christina Applegate -- Girl, you are fierce. We love this color on you, and may we also say, it's great to see you out on the town rocking a one-shouldered number like you've never even heard of breast cancer. You are our hero. We're so enamored with you, that we're barely even noticing the weirdly gathered seam on the front.
Previously:
Golden Globes: Letter To The Stars
Could We Love Christina Applegate Any More?
Oprah Bleses Kate Winslet's Real Breasts
