The Remote Island

"The Biggest Loser" Isn't a TV Show, It's a Lifestyle

Posted by Olivia Purnell

 

 We thought it was just a show, a pseudo-inspirational weight loss fad show.  We were wrong.  Honestly, these people, the scary pair above, want to take over your life!

Here’s how they plan to knead and sculpt your brain and flesh until you are a Biggest Loser too:

It’s a three-step process:

1.    Watch the show (which many of our friends do).  We can’t be a part of this step.  The yell/sweat/cry combination is too much for us.

2.    Become addicted to the show’s tales of weight-loss triumph and overcoming the fat (which many of our friends are).  Again, um, no.

3.    Participate in the TBL life plan. Be a part of The Biggest Loser Club, an online interactive diet and exercise program.  Download TBL workout mixes featuring top 40 hits or modern rock.  Check out the show partners including 24 hour fitness, and General Mills.  Purchase TBL DVDs and books.  Align one’s life to the ways and teachings of Jillian and Bob and whatever other exercise Nazi is in charge over at TBL. Seriously, they will tell you how to sneeze, and people love it.  The Biggest Loser brand generates $50 million in income.

Two of our friend’s Moms have sent them TBL workout DVDs in the mail without warning.  That’s a postal ambush!  Mom, if you’re reading this, please don’t ever send us The Biggest Loser in the mail.  It’s depressing.

(variety.com)


Previously:

“Biggest Loser” Star Shannon Thomas Allegedly Assaults A Man With Flour
“Momma’s Boys” Loses Even More Than “The Biggest Loser”
Number of Times We Teared Up During “Biggest Loser Families”: 7


+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT
Posted Feb 10 2009, 03:00 PM
Filed under:

Comments

No Comments

in

Archives

  • May 2009 (163)
  • April 2009 (356)
  • March 2009 (396)
  • February 2009 (452)
  • January 2009 (404)
  • December 2008 (282)
  • November 2008 (243)
  • October 2008 (276)
  • September 2008 (252)
  • August 2008 (225)
  • July 2008 (226)
  • June 2008 (240)
  • May 2008 (25)

    • about the blogger

    Bloggers


    Lindy Parker has worked as a ghostwriter, editor, dance instructor and a purveyor of dreams, one beer at a time. She loves Charles Dickens and Gabriel Garcia Marquez and also, straight-to-video releases with Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. It's possible she reads more teen fiction than she should. She hails from Los Angeles, her hometown and soul mate, but she lives in Brooklyn, the fling she'll never forget.

    Olivia Purnell left Ohio for sunny Los Angeles; then found that she couldn’t ignore New York City’s call, and brought herself to Brooklyn where she has worked with GenArt, BlackBook, the School of American Ballet, and finished an M.A. in Creative Writing from N.Y.U. She loves one-liners with sting and hates the stench of the subway in the summer. That said, she can’t get enough of either.

    Jake Kalish is a freelance journalist and humorist whose work has appeared in Details, Maxim, Stuff, New York Press, Spin, Blender, Men's Fitness, Poets and Writers, and Playboy, among other publications. He is also the author of Santa vs. Satan: The Official Compendium of Imaginary Fights.

    Contributors


    Ben Kallen is an entertainment, health and humor writer who's been lectured to by Sidney Poitier, argued with by Lea Thompson and smiled at by Jennifer Connelly. He's the coauthor of The No S Diet and author of The Year in Weird, along with hundreds of magazine articles. He lives near the beach in Los Angeles, just like the gang from Three's Company.

    Nicole Ankowski has lived in Ohio, Oakland, and on the high plains of South Dakota, but is now proud to call Brooklyn home. She wrote for alternative weekly papers in the first two states, and tried to learn Lakota in the last. (The vowels can be tricky.) She just earned her MFA in Creative Writing and has been published in Beeswax literary journal. She is unable to resist good writing or bad TV.

    Send tips to remoteisland@nerve.com