First of all, Smokey Robinson is looking good these days. Seriously, we would hit that. Love those cargo pants. Love 'em. Also, we may or may not have teared up when he was talking to Matt Giraud about Marvin Gaye. Speaking of which...
Matt Giraud -- Should absolutely never leave the piano. We're not kidding about this. His version of "Let's Get It On" was kind of magical until he got up from the piano and started bobbing up and down with the handheld mic. Tragic. We also think he lost his pitch a bit when he lost the piano. Paula totally disagrees with us, comparing Matt to a great worn-in pair of jeans. Simon's mainly concerned that Matt keeping his distance from the judges' table -- it vexes Simon when the contestants sing too close to him.
Sidenote: what the hell is going on with the Osbournes and their crazy variety show? Every time we turn around, we see that commercial where the guy makes out with his own grandmother or whatever.
Kris Allen -- We're way over this guy. We may have had a little weak moment last week, but we're over it now. He's not terrible, but we look at him and think, blah.
Scott MacIntyre -- We sort of want Scott to be our new BFF. We find him so squeaky clean and saccharine that we just know he could lay us out with the dirtiest joke we've ever heard out of nowhere. Also, his fashion sense is of that "so bad, it's good" variety. Even Seacrest is enamored with Scott's salmon-colored pants. However, much as we love him, his version of "Can't Hurry Love" was lame. Although, in fairness, our reaction could easily be blamed on the fact that we've always hated that song.
Megan Corkrey -- Best moment of Megan's performance: when she took a walk through the audience, ignoring Simon's obvious discomfort at her close proximity. Worst moment of Megan's performance: everything else, and then Paula trying to make up for it by praising her hotness.
Anoop Desai -- We found Anoop's version of "Oooooh Baby Baby" needed to be kicked up a notch or five. Where's Emeril Lagasse when you need him? Although, the really tragic moment was when Seacrest tried to sing Ano-o-o-op's name at the end of the song. It went awry.
Michael Sarver -- Our issue with Michael Sarver is that we feel like we've pretty much seen all we're ever going to see from him. We can't imagine him coming out one week and blowing our minds the way David Cook did with Lionel Richie's "Hello." Paula and Simon are totally with us, and just like that we can see Michael's Idol run going up in smoke before our very eyes.
Lil Rounds -- It always makes us nervous when Ryan announces from the mosh pit. Ditto Paula standing up and clapping during the performances. Ditto Lil's new hair extensions. That said, we are totally feeling her dress:
Adam Lambert -- We just want it out there that we're fully prepared to become Mrs. Adam Lambert at any given moment. His performance of "Tracks of My Tears" was our favorite of the night. We rewound our dvr and watched it again. Weirdest quote of the night from Kara: "Six words for you: One of the best performances of the night." Uh, that's eight words.
Danny Gokey -- Here's the problem. As we sit here writing this, we can't remember what song Danny sang. No idea. We like him. We like his voice, but he was boring last night.
Allison Iraheta -- She rocks our socks off. Also, we feel like the hair is a little bit better this week. Less scary, more Gwen Stefani awesome:
Previously:
American Idol: Grace is Gone
American Idol: Grand Ole Opry
"American Idol": If I Never Knew You
"American Idol" Week One: The Way You Make Me Feel
