An EBay auction to have lunch with Jon Hamm? In related news, EBay just exploded due to overuse. Virtual shards of EBay are flying all over cyberspace.
This is, of course, for a cause - the Adrienne Shelly Foundation, which supports the artistic achievements of female filmmakers with scholarships and grants. And the man we know and love as Don Draper isn't the only celebrity lunch available on auction. There are some pretty awesome other celebrities as well...
Other meals with celebrities up for auction include Hamm's "Mad Men" co-star John Slattery, Paul Rudd, Kevin Smith, Nathan Fillion, Patrick Duffy, David Schwimmer, Julianna Margulies and others. The auctions are scheduled to end April 16.
The Kevin Smith winner is totally going to be a pimply male comic-book fanatic with some massive inheritance. But Paul Rudd? That'd be a fun and funny lunch. And Schwimmer? If we won, we'd bombard him with Aniston questions. Nurse Hathaway? Come on. We've been fantasizing about having something not at all like lunch with her since 1994.
But Jon Hamm, clearly, is the big prize here, and should obviously get the high bid. Lunch with Jon Hamm would be awesome. Probably better for a heterosexual woman or homosexual man, but potentially great for a heterosexual man as well. We've got an idea how that would go. See, about five years ago we were in a bar in LA, and George Clooney showed up and took a big booth with six or so of his buddies, most of whom kind of resembled Willie Garson. Clooney looked exactly like in the movies or TV - he's absurdly handsome in real life - but the rest of his crew was not in the running for Sexiest Man Alive, to put it mildly.
What happened next was remarkable - nearly every attractive woman in the bar, and it was a big bar, packed on a Saturday night - rotated into that booth to sit with Clooney and his crew. Attractive women who didn't know each other squeezed into the booth, three or four at a time, and then left, replaced by a new round of attractive women. And, since six of the seven men at that booth were not George Clooney, all these attractive women were snuggled up with those Willie Garsons. We thought "ah. That's what it'd be like to hang with Clooney."
And that's probably what it'd be like to have lunch with Jon Hamm.We see it now...
Your humble correspondent would arrive in a black suit with skinny black tie, immediately order two martinis, and then ask Jon Hamm what he'd like to drink. He'd say "you know it's only a character..." and I would say "shhh. Don't ruin it." The women would rotate in to our table. They would attempt to talk to John Hamm, but would wind up discussing fantasy sports and baldness solutions with yours truly. We would order lots of oysters, more martinis. Oysters, martinis, oysters, martinis, oysters, martinis. When the fifth round of attractive women came to sat down I would vomit on everyone. Jon Hamm, covered in vomit, would vow to never do anything for charity again.
PREVIOUSLY:
Can Jon Hamm Succeed In Films By Just Staying Classy?
Who Would You Rather: George Clooney vs. Jon Hamm?
Jon Hamm Protects Us From His Handsomeness
