The Remote Island

Oprah Winfrey Writes Her First "Tweet" Live On "The Oprah Winfrey Show"

Posted by Jake Kalish

 

Oh goddammit to hell.WTF is happening, world? Honestly. 

This Twitter craze has become a real focal point in examining our existence on Earth. Is the whole world spinning wildly out of control, or have we just lost our foothold? It's been said that if you think everyone else is insane, you're probably the crazy one. This Twitter thing makes no sense to us. Does that mean we've lost the ability to understand what's important to humankind? Can someone please explain what appears, from our limited vantage point, to be mass insanity? Because right now we're concerned life is passing us by. Have we begun the slow descent to complete irrelevance and death? We're awful young for that...

Winfrey -- who used Friday's live broadcast to send out her first tweet "ASHTON IS NEXT" -- admitted she doesn't really know what Twitter is -- but spent most of her show responding to messages she received.

Before Winfrey's first tweet, she already had over 75,000 people following @oprah on Twitter.

"Now I've joined Twitter. Here's my first -- it's called a Tweet? I'm stepping into the Twitterverse!" Winfrey said. "It's too cool. I'm still not sure I really get it. I left my building today and my doorman said I hear you're Tweeting today."

Irrelevance and death. Wave goodbye to us, it's been nice knowing you. 

PREVIOUSLY:

Ashton Kutcher Wins

Twitter: It's CNN, Britney Spears, And Ashton Kutcher In A Race To 1 Million Followers 

Today In TV Twits: Ashton Kutcher Twitters Demi Moore's Ass

Modern Stalking: Man Breaks Into Tila Tequila's House And Twitter Account

 


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About Jake Kalish

Jake Kalish is the author of Santa vs. Satan: The Official Compendium of Imaginary Fights http://www.amazon.com/Santa-vs-Satan-Compendium-Imaginary/dp/0307406709/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1208807460&sr=8-1

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    Lindy Parker has worked as a ghostwriter, editor, dance instructor and a purveyor of dreams, one beer at a time. She loves Charles Dickens and Gabriel Garcia Marquez and also, straight-to-video releases with Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. It's possible she reads more teen fiction than she should. She hails from Los Angeles, her hometown and soul mate, but she lives in Brooklyn, the fling she'll never forget.

    Olivia Purnell left Ohio for sunny Los Angeles; then found that she couldn’t ignore New York City’s call, and brought herself to Brooklyn where she has worked with GenArt, BlackBook, the School of American Ballet, and finished an M.A. in Creative Writing from N.Y.U. She loves one-liners with sting and hates the stench of the subway in the summer. That said, she can’t get enough of either.

    Jake Kalish is a freelance journalist and humorist whose work has appeared in Details, Maxim, Stuff, New York Press, Spin, Blender, Men's Fitness, Poets and Writers, and Playboy, among other publications. He is also the author of Santa vs. Satan: The Official Compendium of Imaginary Fights.

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    Ben Kallen is an entertainment, health and humor writer who's been lectured to by Sidney Poitier, argued with by Lea Thompson and smiled at by Jennifer Connelly. He's the coauthor of The No S Diet and author of The Year in Weird, along with hundreds of magazine articles. He lives near the beach in Los Angeles, just like the gang from Three's Company.

    Nicole Ankowski has lived in Ohio, Oakland, and on the high plains of South Dakota, but is now proud to call Brooklyn home. She wrote for alternative weekly papers in the first two states, and tried to learn Lakota in the last. (The vowels can be tricky.) She just earned her MFA in Creative Writing and has been published in Beeswax literary journal. She is unable to resist good writing or bad TV.

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