The Remote Island

"American Idol": More Than a Woman

Posted by Lindy Parker

 

Dear Anoop Desai and Lil Rounds,

No one could say you didn't give it your best effort, although if we're being honest, we'd kind of had enough of you.  Especially, you Lil -- toward the end there, your name was the only thing about you we were finding cute anymore.  But we suppose we can be grateful to you for bringing us some of the craziest outfits in the history of our American Idol viewership...

 

Easily the most nonsensical outfit you wore during your Idol run.  Be confident in the knowledge that we will never ever be able to get the fit of those white pants out of our head.

 

Girl, please.  What's happening here? Even Whitney never wore turquoise rayon. You look like a mother-of-the-bride.


 It goes without saying that folded napkin chic is always a risky choice, but on the up side, the shoes kind of save it.  Mostly we just can't understand why the glam squad always wanted you in high-school-prom-meets-business-cocktail.

In the end Lil, you were largely a disappointment to us, but on the plus side, you seem like a lovely person and we wish you well.  Anoop, bless your heart for hanging in there even though you never established a consistent voter base, and your whole Idol experience was a bit like sitting in a carnival dunk tank.  Props to you for keeping it endearing.  Also, both you and Lil can feel good about the fact that at no point during your time on Idol were you ever as awkward as David Archuleta was last night.

Peace,

The Remote Island

Previously:

American Idol: Disco Double Down
American Idol: Somebody Save Me

American Idol: Miley Cyrus and Jennifer Hudson Perform Tonight!
American Idol: We Prefer Tarantino As a Judge
American Idol: I Can't Make You Love Me If You Don't

 


Comments

Jake Kalish said:

What's going to happen to Noop Dawg? Like Anoop Desai, even though there's no scenario in which he could ever be a successful recording artist. Smart dude, though. Back to academia after Idols Live? That would be weird.

Here's what he should do, not that he's asking: Book. A semi-academic cultural analysis of American Idol, as told from the inside. Not a cheesy tell-all, but a behind-the scenes look, and thoughts on what it all means. As long as he talks a little bit about what Simon, Paula, and Adam Lambert are really like, that book could sell to everyone.

Okay, I'm on record. Now I want a cut.

April 23, 2009 12:59 PM

About Lindy Parker

Lindy Parker has worked as a ghostwriter, editor, dance instructor and a purveyor of dreams, one beer at a time. She now writes for nerve.com's TV blog, "The Remote Island." She loves Charles Dickens and Gabriel Garcia Marquez and also, straight-to-video releases with Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. It's possible she reads more teen fiction than she should. She hails from Los Angeles, her hometown and soul mate, but she lives in Brooklyn, the fling she'll never forget.

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    Lindy Parker has worked as a ghostwriter, editor, dance instructor and a purveyor of dreams, one beer at a time. She loves Charles Dickens and Gabriel Garcia Marquez and also, straight-to-video releases with Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. It's possible she reads more teen fiction than she should. She hails from Los Angeles, her hometown and soul mate, but she lives in Brooklyn, the fling she'll never forget.

    Olivia Purnell left Ohio for sunny Los Angeles; then found that she couldn’t ignore New York City’s call, and brought herself to Brooklyn where she has worked with GenArt, BlackBook, the School of American Ballet, and finished an M.A. in Creative Writing from N.Y.U. She loves one-liners with sting and hates the stench of the subway in the summer. That said, she can’t get enough of either.

    Jake Kalish is a freelance journalist and humorist whose work has appeared in Details, Maxim, Stuff, New York Press, Spin, Blender, Men's Fitness, Poets and Writers, and Playboy, among other publications. He is also the author of Santa vs. Satan: The Official Compendium of Imaginary Fights.

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    Ben Kallen is an entertainment, health and humor writer who's been lectured to by Sidney Poitier, argued with by Lea Thompson and smiled at by Jennifer Connelly. He's the coauthor of The No S Diet and author of The Year in Weird, along with hundreds of magazine articles. He lives near the beach in Los Angeles, just like the gang from Three's Company.

    Nicole Ankowski has lived in Ohio, Oakland, and on the high plains of South Dakota, but is now proud to call Brooklyn home. She wrote for alternative weekly papers in the first two states, and tried to learn Lakota in the last. (The vowels can be tricky.) She just earned her MFA in Creative Writing and has been published in Beeswax literary journal. She is unable to resist good writing or bad TV.

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