Five seasons in, and we are still thouroughly addicted to this show. But, as the 100th Episode of Lost approaches, we've got a couple of polar bear bones to pick with Lost producers.
Here we go:
We resent . . .
5. Homework. As though it isn't enough that we watch every week, Lost producers want to give us afterschool assignments too? Next week ABC will air promo clips of it's new series Flash Forward during Lost. Said clips will direct us to a website. What? No. We will not go to your GD website, unless it contains vital information about Lost. Oh, it does? damn.
4. Love-Pimping. Stop pimping our love of Lost. Really, ABC? You're really gonna make us watch previews of a series that you haven't even ordered yet, by dangling the promise of Lost answers in front of us like a piece of carmelized bacon? (It sounds gross but it's sugary-salty deliciousness; you've got to try it.)
3. Clip-Shows. We watch the show. We don't need the slot filling Cliff's Notes. It's insulting.
2. J.K.S. Love Triangle. We hereby reject any and all Jack-Kate-Sawyer love theatrics. We don't like Kate's meaningful looks, Sawyers lovestruck bullshit (what about Juliet!), or Jack's resigned stare. Jack's like a beaten puppy who's just been neutered. Give him his balls back, please.
1. Interminable Mythology. We know it's never gonna end. But we can't stop watching. They had us at "what lies in the shadow of the statue," but this week apparently "Daniel Faraday
(Jeremy Davies) will come clean about what he knows about the
island."
Like a Rubik's Cube we've been turning around for hours, or a never ending gobstopper that we've been sucking on forevs, we can't quit now. We're just about to get to the deliciously mind blowing center of all things Lost. We just gotta work that cube faster or suck a little harder . . . or uh, something.
(thrfeed.com)
Previously:
"Lost: Is Ben Gonna Make It?
Today in Baseless Rumors: Matthew Perry On the "Lost" Finale
"Lost": We're So Over Ben
"Lost": Make Room For Miles
