The Remote Island

Strange But True: Kiefer Sutherland Headbutts Designer Defending Brooke Shields' Honor

Posted by Lindy Parker

 

OMG, this might be the best day of our lives.  It turns out that, when drunk, Kiefer Sutherland actually transforms into Jack Bauer, and instead of saving the world from terrorist attack, he actually soars to the defense of Brooke Shields...

According to multiple published reports, Kiefer Sutherland allegedly headbutted women's wear designer Jack McCollough after a boozy night in New York City early Tuesday morning.  New York's Daily News reports that Sutherland, 42, was talking to Brooke Shields at a Met Gala after-party when McCollough accidentally bumped into the actress. Sutherland, who appeared intoxicated, then demanded the designer apologize.

"Sutherland was really drunk," another witness tells the New York Post. "They started arguing and then he just head-butted him." (Us Magazine)

Can you imagine Brooke Shields in this scenario?  Jack McCollough's still recovering from the Sutherland headbutt. Chaos is ensuing.  Brooke launches herself forward, gets her arms around Kiefer's waist, pulls him back, and says "Kiefer!  Kiefer, look at me. Calm down. The world is not in danger. We're all safe. It's fine. Shhhhhh." 

Kiefer still looks murderous, and glances wildly around, yelling, "He was trying to get to the President!" 

Brooke pats his arm soothingly and says, "Kiefer, we're actors.  Remember?  We were in a movie together where you played a psychopathic sexual predator -- but that's not real." 

And then Kiefer's brave fascade crumbles, he mumbles something like, "I'm so cold," and collapses into Brooke's arms as she strokes his hair and murmurs comforting asides.  

Previously:

Countdown to 24 Season 7
24 Day 7: Going To Hell In a Handbasket or At Least a Ford Sport Utility Vehicle
24 Day 7 Part 2: Like Riding a Bike


+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT
Posted May 06 2009, 11:30 AM
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Comments

Raymond said:

I like to think I would head butt someone to defend you honor without even being drunk.

May 6, 2009 11:48 AM

About Lindy Parker

Lindy Parker has worked as a ghostwriter, editor, dance instructor and a purveyor of dreams, one beer at a time. She now writes for nerve.com's TV blog, "The Remote Island." She loves Charles Dickens and Gabriel Garcia Marquez and also, straight-to-video releases with Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. It's possible she reads more teen fiction than she should. She hails from Los Angeles, her hometown and soul mate, but she lives in Brooklyn, the fling she'll never forget.

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    Lindy Parker has worked as a ghostwriter, editor, dance instructor and a purveyor of dreams, one beer at a time. She loves Charles Dickens and Gabriel Garcia Marquez and also, straight-to-video releases with Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. It's possible she reads more teen fiction than she should. She hails from Los Angeles, her hometown and soul mate, but she lives in Brooklyn, the fling she'll never forget.

    Olivia Purnell left Ohio for sunny Los Angeles; then found that she couldn’t ignore New York City’s call, and brought herself to Brooklyn where she has worked with GenArt, BlackBook, the School of American Ballet, and finished an M.A. in Creative Writing from N.Y.U. She loves one-liners with sting and hates the stench of the subway in the summer. That said, she can’t get enough of either.

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