The Remote Island

The Biggest Loser Finale Airs Tonight!

Posted by Lindy Parker

 

Yes, we admit it.  We've been watching the Biggest Loser this season.  It's our first time getting into it, and we have this to say:  We've teared up nearly every episode.  Don't scoff, this stuff is emotional, people -- lives are changed, years of pain and humiliation reversed, new wardrobes all around, the girl from Days of Our Lives getting you on the scale half naked and telling the world how much you weigh week to week -- what could be better?  Here's our prediction for tonight's winner...

Michael Morelli.  We love him.  He's lost the most weight of any contestant ever to be on the show, he's eighteen years old, and he could take that money and have a new lease on life in every way.  Also, it just blows our minds -- this guy...

 

...now looks like this:

Seriously y'all, he's hot now.  Not so much to us specifically, but objectively speaking, he went from being crazy overweight and unhealthy to HOT.  As far as we're concerned, he's already won the Biggest Loser hotness lottery, might as well win the money too, no?  

Previously:

The Biggest Loser Isn't a Show, It's a Lifestyle
“Biggest Loser” Star Shannon Thomas Allegedly Assaults A Man With Flour
“Momma’s Boys” Loses Even More Than “The Biggest Loser”
Number of Times We Teared Up During “Biggest Loser Families”: 7


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About Lindy Parker

Lindy Parker has worked as a ghostwriter, editor, dance instructor and a purveyor of dreams, one beer at a time. She now writes for nerve.com's TV blog, "The Remote Island." She loves Charles Dickens and Gabriel Garcia Marquez and also, straight-to-video releases with Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. It's possible she reads more teen fiction than she should. She hails from Los Angeles, her hometown and soul mate, but she lives in Brooklyn, the fling she'll never forget.

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    Lindy Parker has worked as a ghostwriter, editor, dance instructor and a purveyor of dreams, one beer at a time. She loves Charles Dickens and Gabriel Garcia Marquez and also, straight-to-video releases with Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. It's possible she reads more teen fiction than she should. She hails from Los Angeles, her hometown and soul mate, but she lives in Brooklyn, the fling she'll never forget.

    Olivia Purnell left Ohio for sunny Los Angeles; then found that she couldn’t ignore New York City’s call, and brought herself to Brooklyn where she has worked with GenArt, BlackBook, the School of American Ballet, and finished an M.A. in Creative Writing from N.Y.U. She loves one-liners with sting and hates the stench of the subway in the summer. That said, she can’t get enough of either.

    Jake Kalish is a freelance journalist and humorist whose work has appeared in Details, Maxim, Stuff, New York Press, Spin, Blender, Men's Fitness, Poets and Writers, and Playboy, among other publications. He is also the author of Santa vs. Satan: The Official Compendium of Imaginary Fights.

    Contributors


    Ben Kallen is an entertainment, health and humor writer who's been lectured to by Sidney Poitier, argued with by Lea Thompson and smiled at by Jennifer Connelly. He's the coauthor of The No S Diet and author of The Year in Weird, along with hundreds of magazine articles. He lives near the beach in Los Angeles, just like the gang from Three's Company.

    Nicole Ankowski has lived in Ohio, Oakland, and on the high plains of South Dakota, but is now proud to call Brooklyn home. She wrote for alternative weekly papers in the first two states, and tried to learn Lakota in the last. (The vowels can be tricky.) She just earned her MFA in Creative Writing and has been published in Beeswax literary journal. She is unable to resist good writing or bad TV.

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