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  • NCAA Tournament Coverage: CBS Is Breaking The New Green Day Single [AUDIO]

     

    So this is the final game of the tourney, and we've got news for all the broadcasters hopping on the Michigan State bandwagon and attempting to ride it into a brighter economic tomorrow: a basketball team can not save a state's economy, nor even make anyone feel all that much better about it. Michigan has almost 12% unemployment, and no matter how well a basketball team plays, people will still be broke and out of work. They might cheer for the 150 or so minutes the game is on, but the fun is over as soon as they look at their bank account and/or bills. This happens a lot in sports announcing - this idea that somehow the Yankees making it to the World Series in 2001 did a lot for New York after 9/11, or that the Bronx Bombers' title run in 1977 did a lot for a New York at its crime peak, when Son Of Sam was running wild. It's not true. Sports is fun; it's a distraction - that's all. Poverty and murder is serious shit that games can't fix.

    That having been said, CBS is doing something positive - breaking the new Green Day single, Know Your Enemy, in a 90-second opening montage to start the 9:00 coverage of the title game. From what we understand, it will be clips from the video, interspersedwith tournament highlights. The video doesn't launch on MTV until April 24th, and the album, 21st Century Breakdown, doesn't drop until May 15th, so this is a treat for rock fans. (As well as great pub for Green Day.) And we've got a 30-second audio preview of the song, which rocks...

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  • You've Been Warned, Non-Sports Loving Lovers Of Sports Fans: Nonstop Sports Orgy Monday

     

    Consider this a warning, lovers (or even roommates) of sports fans - don't ask for anything, even a second of attention. There will be no "listening" on Monday to anything but a series of announcers describing and analyzing professional athletes. For all intents and purposes, the person you know and love may appear to be near-catatonic, uttering nothing but a series of monosyllabic grunts, rising only for trips to the bathroom and refrigerator.

    Or perhaps you will see this person scream at a television. For hours. Regardless, it will not be a proud moment in your relationship. Be prepared...

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  • NCAA Tournament Coverage: Just Because They Call It "March Madness" Doesn't Mean You Have To Lose Your Damn Mind

    No game-winners on Day 1 of the Tourney (although VCU came close) - which means no reason for announcers to yell. Calm the hell down, fellas... 

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  • NCAA Tournament Coverage: Jay Bilas Is No Dick Vitale [VIDEO]

     

    We watched the NCAA Tournament last night, and after hours of the serious demeanor, astute observation, coherent thoughts, and general rationality of CBS (and ESPN) analyst Jay Bilas, a thought occured to us: This guy is no Dick Vitale.

    See, it's a proven fact: a smart calm man is not as entertaining as a dumb crazy man. Bilas, a Duke law school graduate and practicing lawyer, is smart. And he's exceedingly calm - no hype or hyperbole, ever. ESPN analyst/clown Dick Vitale, on the other hand, is a screaming, gesticulating buffoon lunatic. Which is way more fun. And that's why we always follow Dickie V's advice for "Winning In The Game Of Life"...

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  • NCAA Tournament: Selection Sunday Is Almost Here

     

    Sunday at 7 on CBS, it's the NCAA Tournament Selection Special. We don't even need to see the whole bracket, we've got Cornell going all the way.

    The main question is whether the amazing Stephen Curry, who looks like he's about 14, and his Davidson Wildcats will make the tourney this year. We'd love to watch his greatness on display in the Big Dance, but maybe he shouldn't be allowed to go without his mom's permission, or at least until he can grow a proper mustache. 

    In honor of the upcoming March Madness, we've got video of our three greatest NCAA Tournament moments. And we're willing to argue for our #1, over most people's...

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  • about the blogger

    Bloggers


    Lindy Parker has worked as a ghostwriter, editor, dance instructor and a purveyor of dreams, one beer at a time. She loves Charles Dickens and Gabriel Garcia Marquez and also, straight-to-video releases with Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. It's possible she reads more teen fiction than she should. She hails from Los Angeles, her hometown and soul mate, but she lives in Brooklyn, the fling she'll never forget.

    Olivia Purnell left Ohio for sunny Los Angeles; then found that she couldn’t ignore New York City’s call, and brought herself to Brooklyn where she has worked with GenArt, BlackBook, the School of American Ballet, and finished an M.A. in Creative Writing from N.Y.U. She loves one-liners with sting and hates the stench of the subway in the summer. That said, she can’t get enough of either.

    Jake Kalish is a freelance journalist and humorist whose work has appeared in Details, Maxim, Stuff, New York Press, Spin, Blender, Men's Fitness, Poets and Writers, and Playboy, among other publications. He is also the author of Santa vs. Satan: The Official Compendium of Imaginary Fights.

    Contributors


    Ben Kallen is an entertainment, health and humor writer who's been lectured to by Sidney Poitier, argued with by Lea Thompson and smiled at by Jennifer Connelly. He's the coauthor of The No S Diet and author of The Year in Weird, along with hundreds of magazine articles. He lives near the beach in Los Angeles, just like the gang from Three's Company.

    Nicole Ankowski has lived in Ohio, Oakland, and on the high plains of South Dakota, but is now proud to call Brooklyn home. She wrote for alternative weekly papers in the first two states, and tried to learn Lakota in the last. (The vowels can be tricky.) She just earned her MFA in Creative Writing and has been published in Beeswax literary journal. She is unable to resist good writing or bad TV.

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