The Remote Island

Browse by Tags

• The Five Worst Things About The "True Blood" Season Finale

  OK, so, we quit recapping True Blood a few weeks back, as you might have noticed, because we were running out of ways to say "What the hell is going on with this show?" And yet, we still kept watching it, because we were a little wrapped up in the show already, and Nelsan Ellis is truly amazing in the very small role of Lafayette, and frankly we did kind of want to know who the killer was. But now? Now that the first season is over, and the mystery is revealed, and every single character on the show (with the exception of -- surprise -- Lafayette) has wound up in a situation about which we could not give a shit if we snorted Metamucil and prunes... Well, now, we can safely say that we are never watching this misguided excuse for a chicken-fried Dark Shadows again, not even if our immortal souls depended on it. Fans of the show: maybe we'll hire someone who's into in time for Season Two -- but who knows. We might just have a special True Blood section of the job app from now on. "True Blood Season Finale: Fail or Epic Fail?" So what was it about last night's episode that has so freed us from the curse set upon us by HBO and Alan Ball? Read on and find out. Read More... Posted Nov 24 2008, 11:29 AM by Bryan Christian with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: True Blood, Alan Ball, FAIL, Nelsan Ellis, Michelle Forbes, Homicide: Life on the Streets

• "True Blood": Marlena From "Cloverfield" Topless Now Second Unequivocably Good Thing About This Show

  Took us till today to realize who that hippie chick was saving Jason's ass and then taking off her shirt... Read More... Posted Oct 20 2008, 05:25 PM by Bryan Christian with | with no comments Filed under: True Blood, Cloverfield, Lizzy Caplan

• Death Springs Eternal On "Entourage" And "True Blood"

  Don't worry, Sookie. I'm sure that Ari will get Vince that deal anyway.   We're suspending our weekly recaps of Entourage and True Blood today -- or at least, heavily amending them -- because we couldn't help but notice how last night, in some interesting ways, they were both kind of the same. Read More... Posted Oct 13 2008, 05:39 PM by Bryan Christian with | with no comments Filed under: True Blood, Entourage, HBO Original Programming

• "True Blood": Now With AIDSBurgers!

  True Blood brought it last night, giving us an ep that was by turns pulpy, sweeping, scary, goofy, and (in the end) tragically bloody. Which is all we've ever wanted from this show, dammit! Enough with the transparent metaphors, goddamnit. Get to the hardcore tragedy and the big dudes screaming about AIDS-burgers! Read More... Posted Oct 06 2008, 04:29 PM by Bryan Christian with | with no comments Filed under: True Blood, Nelsan Ellis

• Wake Up And Smile: Katie Holmes Finally Discovers The Nadir Of Her Career

  Yes, that's Joey Potter up there. What crummy hour-long drama got her to dress up like, um, what... Gwen Verdon playing Ava Gardner? Playing a drag queen? Click through for the answer -- plus news on How I Met Your Mother, Chuck, Meet The Press, Friday Night Lights' Gaius Charles, and that wicked "vampire Bush" picture that was behind the bar on True Blood Sunday. Read More... Posted Oct 01 2008, 09:25 AM by Bryan Christian with | with no comments Filed under: How I Met Your Mother, Meet The Press, Tom Brokaw, True Blood, Friday Night Lights, Gaius Charles, Chuck, eli stone, Life, Worst Week, Chuck Todd, Terminator

• "True Blood": Don't Fear The Weiner

  Lots of stuff happened last night on True Blood, and by a lot, we actually mean not so much. A plot summary would go like this: "Jason got a superboner from v-juice. Sookie went to a v-bar." And on the whole, we were v. underwhelmed. Read More... Posted Sep 29 2008, 06:00 PM by Bryan Christian with | with no comments Filed under: True Blood, Videogum

• "True Blood": Is There Anybody Who Ain't Fucking Vampires These Days?

  Yet again a lot of yapping on True Blood this week, but the final 15 minutes of last night's episode were punchy and funny enough to keep us coming back, despite all the clunky and repetitive exposition. ("Don't ever sneak up on a vampire!" Puuuhhhhleeezzzze.) So a mixed bag -- but we think we've figured out the best way to improve this somewhat unfocused show: make it all about Lafayette. Read More... Posted Sep 22 2008, 10:31 AM by Bryan Christian with | with no comments Filed under: Anna Paquin, True Blood, Six Feet Under, Alan Ball, Nelsan Ellis, American Beauty

• Wake Up And Smile: "That's What She Said" Edition

  When you're done with this giddy montage of every "That's what she said" from The Office, click on through for all the latest news on House, Fringe, Smallville, True Blood even more on SNL and Sarah Palin, and last but not least Paris Hilton -- who's lying her way back to reality TV. Read More... Posted Sep 18 2008, 09:30 AM by Bryan Christian with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: HBO, The Office, Smallville, Fringe, True Blood, Saturday Night Live, House, Paris Hilton, Paris Hilton: My New BFF

• The Weekly Rewind: Floating in a Sea of Television

  The new TV season is here, and so far it's going pretty well. None of the new shows have bowled us over yet, but that's okay, because we still have other things on our minds... such as politics, and stars' naked booties. Let's remember it all fondly with the highlights of the week. We gawked at the stars on the Video Music Awards, and examined what they were wearing. But we were glad host Russell Brand didn't offer Britney a drink. We saw far more than we should have of Julianna Margulies and Jessica Simpson. But Pam Anderson? We've seen it all before. Read More... Posted Sep 12 2008, 05:35 PM by Ben Kallen with | with no comments Filed under: Charlie Gibson, MTV, 90210, Barack Obama, Gossip Girl, Fringe, Dollhouse, 24, David Letterman, True Blood, Britney Spears, Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, Tina Fey, Entourage, Roger Ebert, Blake Lively, Paris Hilton, Pam Anderson, Shirley Manson, Russell Brand, Sarah Palin, Video Music Awards, Jessica Simpson, Julianna Margulies, kanye west, Beyond the Valley of the Dolls, Marilyn Manson, The Wonder Years

• Married... With Television: "True Blood" Edition

  As you may remember, we were big fans of HBO's new vampire series True Blood. (Actually, the other day, we figured out why: it kinda reminds us of Creepshow!) But not that many people watched its pilot, so the question becomes: will its audience grow or will it sink into the bayou the way John From Cincinnatti fell silently into the surf? To help us answer this question, we've consulted some of the smartest people we know: a couple of newlyweds, both of whom are dramatists of some sort or another, and both of whom are becoming reacquainted with TV for the first time in a long while right as they're going through their first year of marriage. They are K & J, they are Married... With Television, and the questions before them are: Will they continue to watch True Blood? and Will it tear their marriage apart? (The answer to the latter is most likely "No," even though they do get into a wee dustup while watching it, but, you know... we wanted our intro to end on something dramatic.) Read More... Posted Sep 12 2008, 05:29 PM by Bryan Christian with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: Weeds, Anna Paquin, True Blood, Mary Louise-Parker, marriage, Married... With Television, bras

• "Fringe" Scores Meh Ratings While "90210" Viewership Drops

  If you'd have said to us last week that 90210's numbers would drop by 30 percent in Week 2, we'd have said "Sure." It had a ton of hype, got some of the best numbers the CW ever had -- and that couldn't happen every week. But we'd have fer sure thought that Fringe would have done a little better than "the best non-after-Idol premiere ratings for Fox since, um, Standoff." What does that even mean? So, taking True Blood's equally, um, mellow opening into account, we gotta know: is there gonna be a big hour-long drama hit this year AT ALL? PREVIOUSLY Did "True Blood" Tank? Posted Sep 11 2008, 10:34 AM by Bryan Christian with | with no comments Filed under: 90210, ratings, Fringe, True Blood

• Did "True Blood" Tank?

  Fans of True Blood may want to start worrying. With 1.44 million viewers, the premiere of HBO's Louisiana vampire drama had half the viewership of the first episode of John From Cincinnati on the network a year ago. (Of course, that one followed the finale of The Sopranos.) On the other hand, it's still a little more than watched the premiere of HBO's Generation Kill. Meanwhile, creator Alan Ball says he tries not to think about ratings anyway. "My job is to do the best type of show I know how to do, and let other people worry about what it's going to do for HBO." Previously: True Blood: HBO Gets a Cool Adult Comic Book Show After All True Blood: A Haiku Review Posted Sep 10 2008, 05:25 PM by Ben Kallen with | with no comments Filed under: HBO, True Blood, Alan Ball, The Sopranos, Generation Kill, John From Cincinnati

• "True Blood": A Haiku Review

  Gothic sex and scares,   A gawky vampire saver --   Swamp-fried Stephen King. Image: HBO Previously: True Blood: HBO Gets a Cool Adult Comic Book Show After All 90210: A Haiku Review Raising the Bar: A Haiku Review   Posted Sep 08 2008, 01:25 PM by Ben Kallen with | with no comments Filed under: HBO, True Blood, Haiku Review, Haiku

• "True Blood": HBO Gets A Cool Adult Comic Book Show After All

  Hey, remember all that a few weeks back about how we were wondering why HBO didn't just adapt a comic from their sister company DC Comics into a pulpy adult treat? Turns out they had one in the works, after all; they just based it on some pulpy novels instead! That's right, y'all: HBO got a little of their mojo last night with the premiere of their new vampire show True Blood, which was by turns funny, foxy, frightening, um, freaky, and, ffffffff.... uh... um... let's just get to the astonishingly overlong recap -- but first, a peek at the opening credits -- which we think are just as good those for True Blood creator Alan Ball's other show, Six Feet Under. Read More... Posted Sep 08 2008, 10:32 AM by Bryan Christian with | with 3 comment(s) Filed under: HBO, Anna Paquin, True Blood

• Top Ten New Shows: #2 - "True Blood"

  The new fall season is almost here. Starting next week, the cable and broadcast networks will begin rolling out their new shows to see if they take off like castaways on an island or singing casino managers. Here, then, are the top ten new shows we're most looking forward to seeing. Loyal readers will know that we've been skeptical of HBO's original programming department the last few months. But we hope you understand: we'd really like for them to get back on track. Is True Blood gonna get 'em there? We think maybe. Read More... Posted Aug 29 2008, 02:30 PM by Bryan Christian with | with no comments Filed under: HBO, the wire, True Blood, Six Feet Under, Alan Ball, The Sopranos, Deadwood, blood, Top Ten New Shows Fall 2008

• Salon Sez "True Blood" Might Be Pretty Good

  Salon's Heather Havrilesky has seen a few episodes of True Blood, HBO and Alan Ball's new Southern fried vampire drama. And she's got good things to say about it. Also, she's apparently been snacking on mescaline while on hold with the phone company. What the heck does that mean? Click through to find out. Read More... Posted Aug 12 2008, 10:33 AM by Bryan Christian with | with no comments Filed under: Salon, Heather Havrilesky, True Blood, vampires, Alan Ball, AT&T, John From Cincinnati

• "True Blood": Now THIS is More Like It

  Wanna peek at the first bit of True Blood promo material that actually makes us want to watch the show? Read More... Posted Jul 23 2008, 10:26 AM by Bryan Christian with | with no comments Filed under: True Blood, Six Feet Under, Alan Ball, lips, blood, sexy advertising

• "True Blood" Campaign Sucking All The Fun Out Of Viral Videos

  We had been getting curious -- maybe even excited -- about True Blood, the Louisiana-set vampire drama from Alan Ball and HBO that premieres this fall. We're pining for something langorous and Gothic-y these days. Not sure why... Maybe it's the heat. Maybe it's that with the Emmys we were reminded of how much we miss Damages. Anyhow. Notice that we used the "past tense" there. Because we're starting to find the whole Tru Blood / Blood Copy / yada yada web and print campaign a little exhausting. Sure, we get that they've gotta establish that the vampires of True Blood live in a world where they can choose between drinking human blood and a synthetic blood replacement beverage, and what does that do to vampires and the world, etc., etc. That sounds great. What sounds crap, however, is the possibility that True Blood will swerve as wildly between the crass, crummy commercials and fake-news-clips in rotation on HBO and the stilted, over-written vids of this viral campaign. Click through for a few examples after the jump. Read More... Posted Jul 22 2008, 10:30 AM by Bryan Christian with | with no comments Filed under: HBO, viral marketing, Commercials, True Blood

• Sounds Like They're Freaking Out Over At HBO Original Programming

  The story so far... After the demise of its most prestigious and successful original programs -- and with few successes to show for itself (but a couple might have beens) in the intervening months -- HBO has seemed for some time poised to lose its reputation as "more than TV" to rival pay cable network Showtime. To our mind, that hasn't quite happened yet. No matter how navelgazing/boring In Treatment or Tell Me You Love Me were, Showtime didn't overcome HBO in the last year or so so much as supply an alternative to it. They don't have any comedies as idiosyncratic as Curb Your Enthusiasm, nor do any of their hour-long shows acheive the grandeur of The Sopranos or even HBO's misfires, like Carnivàle. (Possible exception: This American Life, which since it's a doc we're thinking doesn't count.) Still, HBO knows they've got a title to defend. And it looks to us like their solution is to throw lots and lots of money around developing new shows. None of which sound particularly great. Read More... Posted Jun 24 2008, 12:28 PM by Bryan Christian with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: Tell Me You Love Me, HBO, showtime, This American Life, Damages, True Blood, Six Feet Under, Alan Ball, The Sopranos, Mad Men, Sloane Crosley, Dmitry Lipkin, I Was Told There Would Be Cake, Generation Kill, Preacher, David Simon, Jim Carrey, Bored to Death, The Singing Detective, Alexander Payne, Jonathan Lethem, Hung, In Treatment, Jonathan Ames, Carnivàle, The Riches, DC Comics, Lisa Lampanelli

• LEAKED: "True Blood", New HBO Vampire Drama From "Six Feet Under" Creator Alan Ball

  Should you be up on the whole "illegal downloading" (or whatever it is they call that stuff that we would never, ever, do), then we'd direct your attention to this page, which features details on something surfacing over ye intertubes appearing to be True Blood, the HBO adaptation of the "Southern Vampire" series of books by Six Feet Under/Cybill scribe Alan Ball that stars Anna Paquin and which officially premieres in September. From the drama's Wikipedia page: The show details the fictional co-existence of vampires and humans in a small Louisiana town after Japanese-made synthetic blood becomes available for purchase. Anna Paquin stars as Sookie Stackhouse, a telepathic waitress at a diner who falls in love with one of the vampires, Bill Compton (portrayed by Stephen Moyer). And... guess we've got our "WTF?" quota for the day. Click through for a sneek peak at the show's credit sequence (apparently), courtesy of the designer's website. Read More... Posted Jun 18 2008, 02:59 PM by Bryan Christian with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: HBO, Anna Paquin, pirated, True Blood, leaked, vampires, Six Feet Under, Alan Ball