Make The Founding Fathers Proud; Watch VH1's "I Love Money"

Bryan Christian — Fri, 04 Jul 2008 17:25:00 GMT

What’s more American than whoring yourself out for money? Doing it a second time!

Vh1’s new celebreality show I Love Money takes the losers from Flavor of Love, Rock of Love, and I Love New York and pits them against each other for the love of 250,000 sweaty samoleans.

You may be wondering if it's really "celebreality" if it’s just reality TV stars? Well, we're here to tell you: these are some hardcore reality tv stars-slash-total whores. Pumkin, for example, has not only been on Flavor of Love and its spin-off Charm School, but also had sex on Blind Date. Brandi C (Rock of Love), the little darling, has shot a porno. And if Frank, (“The Entertainer” of I Love New York) wins the cash, the thirty-something plans to move out of his parents’ basement. Dreams can come true, y'all!

Vh1 is premiering I Love Money July 6th, this Sunday, but in the meantime they are running the I Love Money Casting Special not once, but twice today on America’s birthday. We don't have 250 grand or anything, but our money says it's gonna be superslutty.

-- Meghan Pleticha

"Idol" Vets, Lewises Huey and Jerry Lee In Tonight's 4th Celebrations

Bryan Christian — Fri, 04 Jul 2008 16:47:00 GMT

What, we were supposed to go with pictures of the old guys?

Well, just in case you guys need something on in the background of your big 4th bash, and your Blu-Ray copy of The Right Stuff ("Does he look like the kind of guy that would doo-doo in the cap-sule?") is nowhere to be found, have no fear: the nets have you covered. Somewhat.

NBC, 10PM: Macy's 4th of July Fireworks Spectacular
It's hard to get rid of American Idol alums these days -- they don't miss any opportunity to be in the spotlight -- but we'd be lying if we acted bummed about Season Five's Katharine McPhee showing up pretty much anywhere. Now, does that mean that we'll be tuning into this New York-based celebration, hosted by Tiki Barber and Natalie Morales and featuring Natasha Bedingfield, Kenny Chesney, and fellow Idol alum and Season Six winner Jordin Sparks? Probably not... but really, we crush on her hard, so we make no promises.

CBS, 10PM: Boston Pops Fireworks Spectacular
Country supertars Rascal Flatts join conductor Keith Lockhart and the Boston Pops Orchestra for what we're sure will be rousing and inspiring orchestral versions of, um, whatever hits Rascal Flatts have had. Well, perhaps host Keith Ferguson -- a newly minted convert to Americanity -- will keep things lively.

PBS, 8PM: A Capitol Fourth
Jerry Lee Lewis, God bless him, is a national treasure. But like many of our nation's greatest institutions, he's also seen better days. So we can absolutely guarantee that we will not be subjecting ourselves to his affair, which also features another Idol winner, Taylor Hicks, triple-named triple-threat Brian Stokes Mitchell, and San Franciso's greatest contribution to our nation's culture, Huey Lewis and the News. Yes, we totally want to know how hard Huey and the boys rock these days -- we're guessing pretty hard; they don't seem like the types to half-ass it -- but if we wanted to risk staring into the eyes of a once powerful presence and find ourselves concerned for its future, well, we'd read the national page, thank you very much.

Happy 4th, y'all!

-- Bryan Christian / Bianca Merbaum

The Remote Island : 4th of July

Make The Founding Fathers Proud; Watch VH1's "I Love Money"

"Idol" Vets, Lewises Huey and Jerry Lee In Tonight's 4th Celebrations