The Remote Island : Blake Lively

Who's Ready for the Gossip Girl Tour of New York City?

"Gossip Girl": Georgina on My Mind

Lindy Parker — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 15:30:00 GMT

We'll just put it out there right now: we're a little weirded out by how quickly the Gabriel situation has progressed. We went from Serena throwing him out of the Waldorf-Rose Seder and pretending Dan was her boyfriend, to one interrupted kiss on the street corner, and now suddenly, Serena's demanding that he spend time with her family, and coercing her mother into investing in his company. Apparently, next week they'll be picking out china patterns...

Speaking of confusing relationships that we can't quite get behind: Nate's teaching Blair to ride the subway in an attempt to prepare them for next year's "long distance relationship" between NYU and Columbia. Blair's claims her fear of mole people makes her reluctanct to brave this new territory, but we like to think it's just her way of sabotaging her relationship with Nate so she can run back to Chuck's waiting arms.

Back in Brooklyn, Rufus is celebrating Dan's graduation with an afternoon of antiquing. Dan catches him eyeing an antique engagement ring, which prompts a Humphrey heart-to-heart about Rufus's plans with Lily.

Now that spring has come to NYC, Nate and Chuck are playing basketball in the park, which is significantly more awkward than we would've thought. Isn't Nate supposed to be a jock? Nate's leasing an apartment in Murray Hill so he and Blair can move in together between their respective schools and never have to ride the subway. Chuck mocks Nate's choice of neighborhood, and Nate gets blustery about Chuck's shady dealings with Blair -- Nate's pretty high and might for a guy who, just seconds ago, was running around kissing everything that moves.

Meanwhile, at the Van Der Woodsen palace, Gabriel's meeting the parents. Lily's spouting platitudes about the importance of family. Rufus proposes a movie night. The whole thing's a little much for Gabriel who hightails it for the door. Serena whines about his commitment issues to Blair -- again, this from the girl who spent last week's entire episode trying to avoid him.

Thankfully, Blair seems wise to Gabriel's suspicious dealings, and enlists Chuck to weasel out his secret. Turns out Serena's not the only girl Gabriel's kissing on street corners. Blair tries to warn Serena about Gabriel's philandering with socialite Poppy Lipton, but Gabriel's ready with an excuse about using Poppy for her business contacts, which to be honest we don't feel that much better about. Also, Gabriel looks a little bit like Dan Quayle.

Back at the gallery, Rufus is having yet another border-line inappropriate guts-spilling sesh with Vanessa. Turns out his gallery isn't selling and he's going to have to hock his Lincoln Hawk songs to pay for Yale.

Chuck and Blair engineer a showdown between Serena, Poppy and Gabriel. Poppy threatens to pull her business contacts, Gabriel declares his love for Serena, and Poppy storms out muttering something about hell having no fury. Serena decides the best way to express her gratitude/cement her place in Gabriel's heart is to replace all of Poppy's business contacts with her own, namely her mom and Rufus (who's decided that his middle-class brooklyn existence is no longer adequate for a guy with Ivy League educations to finance). As soon as Rufus whips out his checkbook, we bury our head in our bedsheets. Weirdly, Gabriel seems hesitant to take Rufus's money -- perhaps his shady, embezzler's heart draws the line at swindling the working class.

Despite Nate's reservations about their growing camaraderie, Blair and Chuck are back on the warpath to convince Serena that Gabriel's a lying scoundrel. Turns out their best hope for success is tracking down Crazy Eyes Trachtenberg at the turnabout ranch to determine the exact happenings of the night Georgina drugged Serena in season one, so off they go, a couture-wearing Bonnie and Clyde on a mission. Fueled by info from Poppy, Gabriel claims to have met Serena during that fateful night at Butter, but it turns out Serena and Georgina never went to Butter that night because -- gasp! -- Butter was closed! Gabriel's a liar! And Georgina has joined some sort of Christian reform program -- all hell's breaking loose. Chuck rushes back to the limo to tell Blair, but Blair's taken the limo and left Chuck high and dry in the middle of nowhere.

Back in Manhattan, Gabriel's somewhat evasive pillow talk makes Serena suspicious enough to grudgingly admit that Chuck and Blair might be right about Gabriel. Chuck hails a cab and heads for the city with Georgina in tow. Look out Manhattan, Georgina's found Jesus, and she's ready to help rid the world of investment fraud.

Previously:

Gossip Girl: Schmutz Happens

Gossip Girl Spoilers: Blair Picks a College? [VIDEO]

"Gossip Girl": Schmutz Happens

Lindy Parker — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 14:00:00 GMT

Good morning Upper East Siders -- good to have you back. This week's episode starts with Blair's Yale rejection tension manifesting itself in Audrey Hepburn-themed anxiety dreams, which at first we thought were going to be lame, but when Blair played Eliza Doolittle both pre and post makeover, we were totally on board.

Meanwhile, Serena's back from Spain and predictably Chuck already has a lead on whatever crazy shenanigans she got up to in the land of Cervantes...

In other news, Cyrus's "schmutz happens" apron is maybe the best thing we've ever seen in our lives. Really, he's well on his way to being our favorite character on the show. Even though he's hard at work preparing the passover Seder, he's never too busy to show concern for Blair's self-destructive existence. Despite her assertions that a socialite's life is her chosen path, Cyrus encourages her to keep her options open and at least meet with his contact at NYU -- a contact, incidentally, whose life he saved in 'Nam. Yes, 'Nam. Blair flounces off to find Nate, just as Serena crashes the party to enlist Cyrus's legal advice on the aforementioned Spanish shenanigans.

Nate got into Columbia, and is now seriously considering bailing on Yale. Nate's grandfather isn't about to have one of his own progeny sullied by the unsavory halls of Columbia -- the horror -- which leaves us to wonder what he would have done if Nate had gone with his initial impulse and chosen -- gasp! -- USC. In order to ensure that Nate stays on the straight and narrow, Grandpa Vanderbilt strikes a bargain with Blair to facilitate her Jackie-O climb to social greatness if she'll convince Nate to attend Yale.

Back in Brooklyn, Jenny's taken up with some cardigan-wearing youth named Wes, who despite an unfortunate haircut, holds the key to Dan's college tuition -- a gig with his mother's catering business.

Turns out Dan's first catering job is at the Waldorf-Rose Seder, although mercifully the dinner is Blair-free -- she's got bigger lamb bones to roast at the Vanderbilt wedding rehearsal dinner. However, no sooner has Dan agreed to the illustrious position of Seder cater waiter at an event that both his father and his ex-girl's mother will be attending, then Serena shows up and adds insult to injury by confessing that she married a random stranger in Spain.

Tragically, before Cyrus can light the Seder candles, who should show up at the door but Serena's betrothed Spaniard. Inexplicably, Serena decides that the best way to break the news of their impending annulment is to tell the Spaniard that she's still in love with Dan. The sight of Dan and Serena semi-feigning amor at the Seder table nearly drives Rufus to the drink.

Sidenote: this week in WTF, Chuck's sleeping with a ballerina. What happened to Vanessa?

Back at the rehearsal dinner, Nate's causing yet another scene at a Vanderbilt get together by taking his grandfather to task for all his underhanded ways (i.e. having Nate's shady father hauled off to prison and bribing Blair into selling Nate's college dreams for a bridesmaid dress). Good news: Nate's impassioned speech inspires an appearance by Blair's conscience. Bad news: Up until this moment, we'd forgotten that we're supposed to refer to Nate's father as "the Captain."

Pause for a word from our sponsor in which we high five our friend at the sight of the Fighting trailer. We feel like Channing Tatum is from the Mark Wahlberg school of acting -- a pretty boy who's still believable as a badass.

After a triumphant exit from the rehearsal dinner, Nate confronts Blair about the whole ruthless social climbing debacle, and we wonder why Josh Schwartz is bothering to drag us through this whole Blair/Nate charade when we all know Blair belongs with Chuck. Nate storms off to the Van Der Woodsen's to whine to Chuck about Blair, which has to be the weirdest bro talk ever featured on this show. Apparently, growing a conscience is going around, because Chuck gives a Nate a pep talk, sends him back to Blair, and then, since one good deed deserves another, Chuck finishes the night by apologizing to Jenny for the attempted rape of season one. God, we love Chuck Bass.

Good news all around: Dan sucked as a waiter, but Rufus is selling the gallery to pay for Yale. Our reaction: Woo hoo! Go back to being a rockstar!

Lily gives Serena one of her patented parental guidance sessions that always seem to end with her encouraging Serena to throw herself on some guy. Serena takes her at her word and before we know it, OMG, Serena's making out with the Spaniard on the street corner. How old is this guy? Luckily, Blair interrupts the kiss with the BFF trump card, but no sooner has the Spaniard scurried off home, then Nate shows up at Blair's door to kiss and make up.

Cue the ominous music as the episode winds to a close: The Spaniard is in cahoots with celebutante Poppy Liption and it doesn't bode well for Serena. We always knew that Louise Brooks haircut looked sinister.

Previously:

OMG, Is Kristen Bell Really Gossip Girl?

"Gossip Girl" SPOILERS: Blair Picks a College? [VIDEO]

Lindy Parker — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 18:30:00 GMT

Is it us, or is the second season of Gossip Girl dragging on for-eh-ver? It feels like we've been waiting a hundred years for these last five episodes -- which, thank God, will air break-free until the season finale. However, while we're waiting -- there's spoilers to be had...

Here's a little clip from next week's episode...

First of all, we've totally missed Princess Bride Guy! Welcome back Cyrus Rose. Second, we're guessing that Blair's overt disdain for NYU will come full circle in an inevitable end-of-episode heart-to-heart with Cyrus in which she realizes NYU may not be the Ivy league, but it's the right place for her to find herself. Are we getting a glimpse into Gossip Girl's third season in which J. Schwartz solves the problematic post-high school plot dilema by having all the characters magically end up at a fictional New York college together even though they had high enough scores and connections to go to Harvard and Yale? Hey, it worked for Beverly Hills, 90210.

Previously:

OMG, Is Kristen Bell Really Gossip Girl?

"Gossip Girl": My Super Sweet Sixteen

Lindy Parker — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 14:00:00 GMT

Morning dawns on the Upper East Side -- Chuck's managed to wrestle Blair from Carter Baizen's lecherous clutches only to find that he's lost her to Nate. Sort of. At least, they haven't officially gotten back together, but they're taking morning walks in which Blair compares Vanessa to Jennifer Aniston. Bizarrely, Blair possesses an uncomfortable number of intimate details about Brad and Angelina's sex life.

Poppy Lipton's back in town, and she may or may not be played by the same actress as before (we find this character oddly forgettable). Poppy's unimpressed by Serena's low-res social vista, and Serena feels shamed by her petty high school existence. She enlists Lily's help to throw Jenny a bad-ass, super sweet sixteen as seen on MTV that will get Serena back in the game. However, this year Jenny's feeling a bit averse to the social scene that turned her into a lying, homeless shoplifter. She convinces Lily to cancel the soirée in favor of family night.

Vanessa's still on the outs with Nate, and Dan's weirdly judge-y about Vanessa bailing on Nate's family reunion, which we find hypocritical given that he was all for it at the time. Chuck cons Vanessa into spying on Nate and Blair's secret morning trysts. We don't have time to be freaked out by this because we're distracted by the fabulousness of V's winter coat, which once again is not in her character's budget. But, whatever. Why can't Chuck and Blair just get back to making out? We're already over this bizarre daliance with Nate.

Dan gets a fan letter about his New Yorker story which dominates his conversations for most of the episode. Rufus doesn't have time to be proud since he's spending most of his time trying to figure out how to pay for Yale. Evidently, Lincolnhawk royalties don't go very far in the Ivy League.

Back at school, the mean girls have jumped on the bandwagon, shaming Serena for her fall into social obscurity. Serena whines to Poppy who talks Serena into throwing the party even harder than before despite Jenny's objections.

We think we sort of missed something with Nate and Vanessa. What actually caused the break up again? She didn't want Nate to work in the mayor's office? Anyway, we're unclear about why Nate's spouting all this stuff about the break up not being about anyone else, and then turning around and having conversations with Blair about their "lovemaking."

Pause for a word from our sponsor in which we're weirdly excited about the Hannah Montana movie -- it's so dramatic when she pulls the Hannah wig off!

Serena's wearing a ridiculously fabulous dress that makes her boobs look awesome. We're jealous, a little. There's some sort of weird joke involving Lily's doorman reading Ann Coulter's book, but we're uninterested. Jenny's wearing false eyelashes to a party she thinks will feature chili and board games.

Jenny's less than thrilled to find all of New York society in the Van Der Woodsen living room, especially since no one seems to know it's her birthday. Jenny retaliates by sending a Gossip Girl blast to invite the great unwashed to the party.

Nate and Blair happen to be standing near each other. Vanessa reacts to this news by making out with Chuck. We're too weirded out for it to be hot -- not unlike our reaction to Beyoncé's infidelity movie. Nate calls Vanessa out on her bullshit and gives her an "against my will is against the law" speech. Blair pulls Nate away from Vanessa, and tries to seduce him in Chuck's bedroom. Nate rejects her. Blair's offended. The whole thing is weird.

The rabble are beating down the doors of the Van Der Woodsen Park Avenue apartment complex. That said, we're getting our first full legnth look at Jenny's outfit -- which is fierce.

Rufus and Lily break up the party and blame Serena for the fallout. Serena tattles on Jenny and flees the scene to fly to Spain with Poppy Lipton. Little J looks abashed which we can't understand given that Serena hijacked her birthday. Lily makes an oddly disdainful comment about crockpots. Jenny tells them all where to get off in a stirring it's-okay-to-be-poor speech.

Blair's nursing her wounds by feeding the ducks in the park. Turns out Nate asked Dorota to bring her so they could have their "first" kiss. What? First of all, they've kissed before -- a lot. Second, is Nate bipolar?

Back at the Van Der Woodsen apartment, Chuck and Vanessa are having a secret tryst of their own. Oh yeah, and Dan's fan letter is from Rufus and Lily's lovechild.

Previously:

"Gossip Girl" Takes on Rolling Stone in Sweet, Sexy Photoshoot [VIDEO]

Lindy Parker — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 18:00:00 GMT

They may have made us wait six weeks for a new episode, but now that they're back, they're everywhere -- n our TV screens and our newstands...

Here's a little preview of the GG issue of Rolling Stone...

Final cover shot...

Previously:

David Letterman Is Married [UPDATE: VIDEO]

David Letterman's "Top Ten Reasons I Got Married" Do Not Include Blake Lively [VIDEO]

Jake Kalish — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 20:44:00 GMT

This is one of the funniest Top Tens in a while - we especially dug numbers 8, 6, and 5...

Funny though, how he and Gossip Girl's Blake Lively were all over each other last night anyway. Click through for that video.

PREVIOUSLY:

David Letterman Showed Kate Hudson's Ass To America Last Night

Tom Cruise Does "Top Ten Craziest Things People Say About Tom Cruise"

"Gossip Girl": The Grandaddy of Social Hangovers

Lindy Parker — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 14:00:00 GMT

Before we get into the episode, a question: do you think if we wrote all our posts under the name "Blake Lively," people would start to believe these recaps actually were written by the blonde it girl? Apparently, anything's possible, given that Leighton Meester's cyber doppleganger seems to have even The Observer fooled. Anyway, on to the task at hand...

Nate's mind is consumed with his summer plans (travelling and romance with Vanessa), but his waspy cousin is giving him the hard sell about attending the family reunion. For reasons best known to themselves, Dan and Vanessa get on the band wagon and convince Nate to go and take them along for the ride.

Meanwhile, watching courtesan Elle disappear into the sunset seems to be all the encouragement Chuck needed to go running back to Blair. However, Lady B is getting her jollies elsewhere these days. We can't say we blame her there, but really, Carter Baizen? This guy is like Brandon Davis, but more bland and without the slightly cross-eyed expression. Chuck enlists Serena's help to save Blair from a fate worse than poverty. Serena blackmails Carter with some cryptic story about Greece and a police interrogation.

At the Vanderbilt family reunion, our hearts are warmed by the sight of Dan running around all rough and tumble with Nate. Vanessa's totally with us on this, until Nate's cousin's fiancé makes her wise to the family plans for Nate's politically future. You know how Vanessa hates a conformist.

Blair rings the doorbell on a strange townhouse and greets the unseen person at the door. Pause for a word from our sponsor in which we determine that no power on earth could entice us to see Adventureland.

Rufus and Lily are exchanging ex-lists over candlelight, and it is exactly like that scene from Sex and the City where Miranda forces Steve to tell her how many women he's been with and then finds herself surprised by the hugeness of his number ("Mirander, I'm a bartendah"), except in this scenario Rufus is Miranda, and Lily is Steve -- we wonder if they'll include the time when she did it with Trent Renznor in a closet in the new script for Lily.

Back at the loft, Vanessa confesses her fears about Nate getting sucked into the family agenda and becoming a Vanderbilt pod person. Nate assures her that nothing matters more to him than trekking acrossing Europe with her.

Chuck gets in Dorota's face in an attempt to intimidate Blair's whereabouts out of her. Dorota can be very scary when shrieking in her native tongue. Luckily, Serena knows that one always gets more flies with honey than with vinegar. Dorota spills the location, and Chuck and Serena troop off to save the day. Turns out Blair's sobbing in the hallway of the Dean of Sarah Lawrence in a valiant effort to finagle a spot in their freshman class. Unfortunately, "teacher-hazing" seems to be the unforgivable sin, and not even Chuck and Serena can pick up the pieces of Blair's shattered future. Sidenote: why is a pre-teen in a floor-legnth nightgown answering the door at the Dean's townhouse?

The next morning, Blair's parade of self-destruction includes a drunken appearance at a society brunch, and blabbing to Serena about Dan's roll in the costumes with the insipid Miss Carr. We're actually a little relieved that Blair seems pissed about the whole Elle debacle, and not just falling into Chuck's arms now that he's finally available for comment. Yeah, his dad died, his life was a shambles, blah, blah, blah -- have a slice of pie and leave the high-end prostitutes to their own devices.

Across town, while the Vanderbilts are embracing Vanessa as the future first lady, Vanessa's devising ways to keep Nate from their bourge-y clutches. Tragically, Grandpa Vanderbilt came to play. He's offering Nate an internship at the mayor's office, and Vanessa's pierogi tour of Eastern Europe suddenly seems trite.

Pause for a word from our sponsor in which we're weirdly stressed out by the home pregnancy test commercial during a show about high school girls.

Back at brunch, Chuck tries to lure Blair back to normal by hitting her with his best vulnerability speech. Blair's over it, and bails on the whole endeavor, only to somehow show up on the porch at the Vanderbilt family reunion. What? Nate gives her a pep talk that involves Audrey Hepburn and getting high, and sends her on her not-so-merry way. Back inside, Nate's grandfather is announcing the internship and, for some reason, speaking in the royal "we." Nate accepts the speech and Vanessa looks crestfallen.

Predictably, Serena is the next to crash the reunion to scream at Dan for the Miss Carr indiscretions. Thankfully, one good slap is all the fight she seems to have in her, and laughing, they trot off together in search of ice for Dan's bruised face.

Rufus and Lily are still fighting about the lists, and frankly, we're bored by the whole thing.

Vanessa limps back to the Humphrey loft to lick her wounds, and Chuck's back to moping and attempting to drown his sorrows in liquor until Serena arrives to stop the madness and send him back to Blair. Unfortunately, Dorota's minding the drawbridge and won't let Chuck across. Chuck agrees to go, but not before spying Nate's school blazer draped across the chair. Don't worry Chuck, we all know Nate and Blair chemistry is lukewarm at best, they won't be together for long.

Question: Um, where the hell is Eric?

Previously:

Tonight's "Gossip Girl" SPOILERS: The Grandfather

Lindy Parker — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 18:00:00 GMT

Our dearest hope is that last week's episode cleared away the chaos wrought by the last few GG episodes, and tonight's episode can finally get us back on the road to awesome. At least, that's what the spoilers say....

Before we get into those, let's refresh our memories about tonight's episode:

First of all, we couldn't be more psyched about the weird St. Elmo's Fire scene with Nate as Rob Lowe to Blair's Demi Moore:

Tonight's SPOILERS:

• Since last week's episode gave nary a mention of the Lily-Rufus romance, we were almost convinced Gossip Girl had forgotten about them. Never fear, Lily and Rufus are back this week making lists of their former exes to drive each other insane.

• Nate gets talked into attending his family reunion, but only after securing a promise that Vanessa and Dan will serve as his wingman (and wingwoman). This is good news for us since we're never really happy unless Dan and Nate are locked in a blissful bromance. Does this mean Nate can move back into the loft?

• Nate's grandfather offers Nate an internship at the Mayor's office out of the blue. We fear this is just a thinly-veiled attempt to drive a wedge between Nate and his poor, Brooklynite girlfriend.

• After getting bounced from Yale, Blair decides to embrace the life of a celebutante a la Paris Hilton. Apparently, this means cavorting around with the likes of Carter Baizen. Chuck vows to destroy him.

• Turns out Carter previously hooked up with (gasp!) Serena.

(via Gossip Girl Insider)

It's finally spring, and the Upper East Side is heating up. We'll be back tomorrow to report on whether or not tonight's episode left us cold.

Previously:

Gossip Girl SPOILERS: We've Got 'Em

Does Gossip Girl Need Fixing?