The Remote Island : CW (The CW)

Shut Up. They're Re-making "Melrose Place"

Lindy Parker — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 21:25:00 GMT

There really is nothing new under the California sun. A reprisal of that other 90210-era Aaron Spelling powerhouse, Melrose Place, is on its merry way back to our TV screens...

CW and CBS network reps confirm to the Associated Press that they're in talks to remake the show, which originally aired from 1992 to 1999 on Fox. The show would debut in the 2009-10 TV season, spokesman Paul Hewitt said Tuesday.

The announcement comes on the heels of Beverly Hills 90210's success, which has boosted CW's performance among women 18 to 34 by 46 percent on Tuesday nights. -- Us Weekly

First of all, we didn't actually know 90210 was doing that well but, you know, good for them. Second, given our much discussed frustrations with the aforementioned 90210, we're more than a little skeptical about round two of MP. That said, we always loved Andrew Shue, and it was just a matter of time before shoulder pads made a comeback at H&M. CW, all we ask is this: First, please, please, please pick a cast that can carry the soapy dramatics of that kind of show with more finesse than the new class of West Beverly High. We know you'll do your best. Second, get Heather Locklear; don't call Courtney Thorne Smith. Honestly, it'll be better for everyone.

This Week's "Gossip Girl" Pairs Britney Spears With Chuck Bass

Lindy Parker — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 14:20:00 GMT

The new CW promos for tonight's Gossip Girl episode are spreading a little Britney around the Upper East Side...

Can we be honest? Doesn't it kind of feel like this promo is one of those youtube music videos that kids put together in homage to their favorite TV couple or villian or whatever? Just for fun, we did a little searching on youtube. Turns out there are nine or ten fan-made montages of Chuck Bass set to Britney Spears' "Womanizer" created long before this promo aired. Is the CW trolling youtube for promo ideas? It seems likely. And we would think it was sort of awesome if only jojo1560 and co. would get a little credit...

Wake Up And Smile: Sheeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittt Edition

Bryan Christian — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 13:30:00 GMT

ZOMG guys, did you know that YouTube's got, like, dozens of clips of fictional Maryland State Senator Clay Davis saying his trademark fecal phrase? It's true. Look right here. All righty then, guess our work is done here people, time for drinks!

What, you want more? Well, OK, how about details on how My Own Worst Enemy fared Monday night, what our favorite Daily Show couple are up to, the latest on One Tree Hill, a star-studded game of Celebrity Charades, and footage of things almost getting blue on CNBC? Sheeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit, that sounds great!

-- My Own Worst Enemy does not look like it's going to save NBC's faltering Monday nights, having scored lower even than Studio 60, Journeyman, and LAX in similar timeslots. All those showed failed to make it out of their first season, you may remember. You know what NBC's probably thinking about that? Sheeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.

-- Daily Show power couple Samantha Bee and Jason Jones are all set to make a pilot (hooray) for Comedy Central (hooray!) sister network CBS. (Sheeeiiiiiiiiiiiiit.)

-- One Tree Hill creator signs on for seventh season of production on The CW's now-post-high-school drama. Guess all he needs now is for the network to actually go ahead and renew the show. If we were him, you know what we'd be thinking? Sheeeeiiiiiiiiiit.

-- Hey, wanna watch David Schwimmer, Kristen Wiig, Christopher Meloni, Edie Falco, Justin Theroux, Rachel Dratch, and Aasif Mandvi play Celebrity Charades? Hmm... you gonna be in New York next Monday and have a couple hundred bucks to spend on standing-room-only tickets? Sheeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.

-- And finally, Defamer's got some amusing footage of CNBC Media Analyst Dennis Kneale nearly letting loose with on-air profanity over last week's financial crisis. What do you think he was almost guilty of saying? Guess again!

"Gossip Girl" Stars Say No to John McCain

Lindy Parker — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 17:20:00 GMT

Penn Badgley and Blake Lively are rocking the vote, but in a funny way. The CW's golden couple have joined the fight to help elect Barack Obama to the presidency by appearing in an anti-McCain public service announcement produced by mccainfreewhitehouse.org and directed by Doug Liman. The ad features the Gossip Girl stars encouraging kids to "talk to their parents about the dangers of McCain." We've got to admit, we're amused. And, to be honest, we're not above wanting the Gossip Girl cast to use their celebrity power to brainwash kids into voting their way.

Here's the ad:

"Smallville" Could Be Replaced by... Robin?!?

Ben Kallen — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 19:55:00 GMT

Holy head-scratcher, Batman! Does anyone really care about the early years of teen sidekick Robin, the Boy Wonder?

Apparently the CW does, because they're readying a new drama, The Graysons, as a possible replacement for their aging Superman-as-a-boy show, Smallville.

According to Variety, "Just as Smallville focused on Clark Kent in the years before he became Superman, The Graysons will follow the world of Dick "DJ" Grayson before he takes on the iconic Robin identity and aligns himself with Batman.... Young DJ will face challenges involving first loves, young rivals and his family as he grows up."

In the original Batman mythology, Dick Grayson was part of a family of acrobats, until his parents were killed and he was taken in by Bruce Wayne. But the producers aren't saying whether that's still part of the story (and, frankly, it seems unlikely that they'd want to set the show in a circus).

As to whether The Graysons will be any good or not, who knows? We just think the CW had better watch it: Eventually, they're going to run out of teen superheroes. And if that happens, they might just end up stuck with this guy.

Photo of Burt Ward: RobintheBoyWonder.com

Previously:
Adam West To Join Dancing With the Stars?

Hey, Shenae Grimes, You're a Role Model Now -- Deal With It

Ben Kallen — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 15:25:00 GMT

Smiley 90210 star Shenae Grimes is kind of miffed that people are criticizing her, not only for being too skinny but for smoking up a storm wherever she goes. Apparently she thinks it's unfair that she's expected to act like a role model, just because millions of young girls are watching her '90s-remake show for some reason.

She even wrote about it on MySpace:

Hey guys!

I didnt think my next blog would be so soon, but I guess it is!

But what im here to blog about is my recent cover of the tabliods and my highly criticized smoking habit. Now, as you all know now probably, I graced my first major magazine cover, only to be called "too skinny" alongside my co-star Jessica Stroup. I would like to say once again that neither me or Jessica have issues with our weight or bodies. I happened to be very small built, and ive always been skinny. So I personally think that people need to stop criticizing everyone in the media these days about their issues. Im sure you wouldnt like it if someone pointed out all of your flaws and all of your mistakes... but thats what the media does to us. Anyways, im ranting.. so onto my next issue.

Tmz has criticized my smoking habit. I cant say that im proud of it, but there are so many people struggling with the addiction nowadays. I started smoking at about 16, and 1 in 5 teenagers smoke. Im not going to really go into the issue, but my hope is that you will all just stop hating and get on with it. I smoke. My choice. Im sorry if you dont like it, but this is who I am.... Ive read some of the comments, they arrent the most supportive, but im doing the best to ignore them and just move on.

Well thats it for me guys, have an amazing week

Hmm, that's quite an argument. But if "1 in 5 teenagers smoke," maybe it's partly because they frequently see their favorite actresses, who are presented as all pretty and sweet and popular on TV, in photos like this:

First, gross. Second, six packs? Seriously? Third, it's not just your "choice" anymore when those choices affect millions of teen viewers.

And fourth, if you don't think the public is going to compare your real-life behavior with your onscreen character, maybe it's time you had a nice long talk with Shannen Doherty.

Okay, we've said our piece. Except for one other thing: The apostrophe key on your computer seems to be broken. Maybe that girl Silver can fix it -- she seems nice.

Photos: The CW, JustJared.com; MySpace blog via ONTD

Previously:
Everybody's Worried About the Skinny Girls of 90210

TV Orgy Tonight!

Ben Kallen — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 21:20:00 GMT

Er, we mean an orgy of TV, not an orgy on TV. But a huge number of new episodes and season premieres will be happening this evening. Here's what's in store for you, your couch and your TiVo:

ABC: Ugly Betty She'll have to decide between her two boyfriends, and maybe find out how many more years those braces need to stay on.

ABC: Grey's Anatomy Now that Dr. McDreamy and Dr. McSkinny are back together, Nurse McNobody turns out to be... well, it's kind of a spoiler, even though it's been in every ad for the past three weeks. Hope all the talking about it won't distract them from their complicated medical procedures, like always!

CBS: Survivor: Gabon Host Jeff Probst is worried about how he'll look now that the show's going high-def. Dude, you're not the one who's going to end up 30 pounds lighter and covered in filth. As for the contestants, we hope they've read this.

NBC: My Name Is Earl Seth Green alert! This show may not seem so new and fresh anymore, but it sure gets good guest stars. Plotwise, we think Earl's still working on that list or something.

NBC: The Office Woo-hoo! Amy Ryan's back, Michael's still nuts, Jim and Pam still can't put together a decent PB&J, and we can't wait.

NBC: ER Bad stuff happens! It's the last season! We haven't watched this show in years!

CW: Smallville Last week, Clark applied for a job at a major metropolitan newspaper and they made him a reporter, just like that! Did he even finish college? Don't they know blogs are where it's at these days? And when did Chloe become the hottest character on this show?

CW: Supernatural Spooky! (That's all we got.)

Fox: Kitchen Nightmares Our nightmare is that some jerkwad chef came over to our place and screamed for an hour, but that's just us.

PBS: American Masters: The Warner Brothers These guys went to Hollywood, and 100 years later they made The Matrix. Good times.

"Gossip Girl"/"90210" Crossover? We Say No

Lindy Parker — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 21:00:00 GMT

Rumors have been flying around for a bit about the CW doing a Gossip Girl/90210 crossover episode, and we've been sitting here feeling that it's a pretty bad idea.

In the first place, how would it work since the shows take place on opposite coasts? Would Nate go visit USC and have a weekend fling with Annie that would send Ethan and Vanessa into bi-coastal fits of jealousy? Would Dixon travel to the Upper East Side for a national lacrosse tournament and get inevitably sucked into one of Blair's love triangles?

The primary reason we don't think a crossover episode can work is that the vibes of these two shows seem incompatible to us. Gossip Girl has a kind of pathos that 90210 hasn't even come close to replicating, and the 90210 characters aren't developed enough yet to stand up to the Gossip Girl characters in a scene. Maybe we're wrong here. But, we're just saying, maybe the CW should wait a few seasons and create a crossover that would actually add something to both shows (a la the Buffy/Angel crossover -- "It's not enough time!" We still tear up thinking about that one), rather than just a gimicky stunt to drum up more viewers...Wow, sorry. We were two seconds away from a "creative integrity" tirade.

Married... With Television: "Privileged" Edition

Bryan Christian — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 20:57:00 GMT

Man, with all the hubbub about 90210 and Gossip Girl, you'd think that there weren't any other teen shows on The CW, huh? Well, you'd be wrong! The Married With Television kids recently caught an episode of Privileged, the slightly less cat-fighty, slightly more heartwarming story of a Yale grad forced by circumstance and the job market to nanny two exceedingly rich young ladies in Manhattan. Is it worth a peek? Well...

K (the dude): We started watching fifteen minutes in, so I guess I have fifteen minutes less of a leg to stand on, but is this show a joke? How many more wish fulfillment shows are we going to be subjected to? The poor-kid-fish-out-of-water-with-the-richies thing.

J (the chick): I’m the dummy who wanted to watch it. Gilmore Girls meets Gossip Girl meets The O.C.? What girl could resist? I thought it would appeal to all my girly instincts. But oh dear oh dear. Oh fluff oh fluff.

K (the dude): Hey, I’m a big fan of the first season of The O.C. I can hang for a few minutes with the GG’s. But this is too much for me. Brangelina jokes? Really?

J (the chick): The quasi-Amy Adams-like lead in Privileged is so giggly, flirting on her every line as if she’s trying to give herself a … I don’t know… subtext … to make it OK that she’s not playing the pretty, rich,16-year-old lead but instead the, gasp, 22-year-old, middle class tutor! On talking about her father: He drinks too much. Regrets his life. Ha ha ha hee hee hee. On the rich girls she tutors: I’m not using them! Am I? Ha ha ha hee hee hee. Then, in the first attempt at a genuine moment, she, not ironically, quotes Spiderman.

K (the dude): Now if Seth from The O.C. quoted Spiderman, it would have at least been ironic—and funny.

J (the chick): Ahem. I think a girl could make a Spiderman line funny too. Why you gotta immediately jump to referencing a male character?

K (the dude): Hey, trust me, Rachel Bilson could have made it funny. Ah, Rachel... She should have stuck to TV—we could use talent like her.

J (the chick): I’m just saying, we seem to watch a lot of dude-centric shows in this house and I’m desperate for a Gilmore Girls replacement, but, K, it’s your lucky day. You’ll never have to watch this show with me again. This show has no appeal. Ha ha ha hee hee hee.

K (the dude): Sadly, the dude-centric shows aren’t faring much better...

Take the Kim Kardashian Tush Test!

Nicole Ankowski — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 20:34:00 GMT

Just can’t wait to get a glimpse of Kim Kardashian’s ass in tonight’s (and tomorrow night’s, and the night after’s) three-evening season premiere of Dancing with the Stars? Thanks to E!, you don’t have to. That's right. You can “Take the Tush Test,” and try to pick Kim K.’s ass from other voluptuous Hollywood buttocks…

…And, not-so-Hollywood buttocks.

We didn’t score so well the first time, and we're not sure which makes us feel worse about ourselves: that we only got four answers correct, or that we were upset that we only got four correct. Got some downtime from writing to your congressperson or picking recyclable bottles out of the trash? "Challenge” your tush knowledge here.

One more note, for the other four people in the universe who actually watch this show: Um, Photoshopped much? Especially Khloe. She is much more thick ‘n’ luscious than this ridiculousness shows, don't you think?

And, for the other two people in the universe who watch both Keeping Up With the Kardashians and the CW’s new Privileged (smart, funny and quirky, thus far): don’t you just say, “Hello, Khloe Kardashian” every time Sage (Ashley Newbrough) mutters something bitchy and drags her sister off into the sunset?

An Appeal to Luke Perry's Sense of Goodwill

Lindy Parker — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 17:23:00 GMT

Even after this week's Dylan name-drop, Luke Perry still claims that Dylan won't return to the CW's new incarnation of the show that made him a star.

Here's what he told TV Guide:

"During a conference call...Perry was asked if he would be appearing on 90210, especially given the aforementioned mention of Dylan. 'They own the name and likeness,' he (presumably) shrugged. Pressed to clarify his stance, he stated simply, 'That would be a no.'"

We kind of don't believe him though. It's not that we're like, "Well, what else is he doing?" Because actually, we know -- Hallmark Hall of Fame movies and Law and Order: SVU episodes. But still, we suspect he's too nice a guy to ignore all the pleading fan mail. Case in point: one time our friend parked behind his car at Lulu's in LA, and after she moved her car, he hugged her out of nowhere. One minute she's moving her car, the next minute she's standing there in her sweatpants, getting hugged by Luke Perry for no reason. We know he says he won't come back to 90210, but Luke Perry's not a hater, Luke Perry's a guy who likes to bring it in for the real thing.

Please come back, Luke. We're just saying, wouldn't it be fun? You could sit around with Jennie Garth making fun of how lame the new cast is? You could do a few episodes and still maintain your creative integrity couldn't you? Please? These new kids are boring us.

Everybody's Worried About the Skinny Girls of "90210"

Ben Kallen — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 14:25:00 GMT

When the cast of Gossip Girl calls you too thin, you've really got a problem.

But they're not the only ones. Suddenly everyone seems to be worried that the young female stars of the new 90210 are setting an unhealthy example for the show's teen audience.

Let's take a look at what they're all saying:

First on the bandwagon was US Weekly, with a cover story that claimed stars Shenae Grimes (who plays smiley Kansas transplant Annie) and Jessica Stroup (who plays punky "Silver") "are so thin that show producers and costars are poised to take action."

According to the article: " 'They are trying too hard to be skinny, and it's started to wear on them. It's just not healthy,' says a source. 'I've never seen Jessica or Shenae eat,' says another.... So shocking is the situation that their 90210 male costars are contemplating an intervention.... 'The girls were all skinny when they started, but they're definitely thinner now.' "

Our take: It sounds pretty bad, Of course, the story would be more convincing if it didn't come linked to another article in the same issue of US about how great it is that stars like Mariah Carey and Jennifer Love Hewitt have lost a lot of weight. Lesson to the young girls out there: No matter how much you weigh, it's wrong.

Next, Entertainment Weekly's PopWatch blog weighed in with an article that partly blames the CW network for the problem, because they allegedly follow a "thin is in" philosophy:

"One casting agent who works frequently with The CW turns a critical eye on the network itself. 'I know in discussions at ABC and CBS that too skinny is no good. They talk about it as a minus point,' says the agent. 'But at The CW it's a different story. They're trying to pull in the Gossip Girl audience and that's the image: hyper-skinny models.' "

In the same article, a publicist for AnnaLynne McCord, the actress who plays mean girl Naomi and who has also been cited for excessive thinness, insists that she eats anything she wants.

Our take: If the network casts actresses who are naturally thin, that doesn't necessarily mean they're unhealthy -- but viewers might still practice unhealthy eating habits trying to emulate them.

Last but not least, even actor Penn Badgley of the CW's Gossip Girl chimed in on the bony-beauty controversy. According to the entertainment blog PopEater:

"He's heard the swirl about the show's skinny starlets, and [says] that he's 'never been proponent of the thin L.A. girls.' He goes on to tell us that he thinks it's 'healthy' that the females on Gossip Girl 'aren't bone-thin.' He also has solid advice for the 90210 gals: 'I hope they eat a double cheeseburger or something.' "

Our take: Thanks, Penn, that's really helpful! Now if your own show would stop teaching kids they have to be rich to be happy, we're sure everything will work out fine.

Previously:
90210: Bowling for Dollars
Are the CW's Ultra-Rich Kids Destroying Our Nation's Youth?

Are the CW's Ultra-Rich Kids Destroying Our Nation's Youth?

Ben Kallen — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 18:25:00 GMT

According to Salon.com TV writer Heather Havrilesky, pervasive sex and violence aren't what's harming our TV-watching teens -- it's pervasive wealth. On shows such as Gossip Girl, 90210 and Privileged, she writes, admiring depictions of the richest among us "make aspiring to own designer jeans and nice cars look hopelessly middle-class, compared to the fully serviced, spa-polished, couture lives of the truly wealthy."

Havrilesky points out that TV has always given us escapist wealth fantasies, from Dallas to Dynasty to, let's say, Dirty Sexy Money. But "we were meant to pity these lost, soulless, trashy people, squabbling in their enormous but somehow claustrophobic mansions." With these new CW shows, on the other hand, being rich just makes people happy.

"While Chuck, the poor little prince of Gossip Girl, may pace and swill fine bourbon in his lonely hotel room at the Palace, while Blair nibbles on chocolates in the fluffy confines of her four-poster bed and laments that 'Lady Godiva' is her only friend, these are rare low moments in otherwise fabulous, fun-filled lives that include glamorous parties in the Hamptons, dinner out at the best restaurants every night and a phalanx of handmaidens who quietly fulfill every whim. From the warmhearted, loving, McMansion dwellers Sandy and Kirsten of The O.C. to the spunky, good-natured grandmother lounging about in her Mediterranean-style villa on 90210, the filthy rich aren't the cartoonish demons they once were, and the benefits of their exorbitant lifestyles are paraded before our eyes at every turn. TV writers have abandoned the notion that heart and spirit might win out over money in the end, instead choosing to show us just how many things money can buy."

Still, it's just TV, right? But Havrilesky more or less blames a bunch of issues on this sort of wealth envy, from the mortgage crisis to a middle class drowning in credit-card debt. "Can these dramas -- which are made for young people, after all -- really be written off as harmless fun when so many of us aspire to throw money around like young barons and dukes with demonstrably tragic consequences for the entire country? As a growing percentage of families lose their homes and taxpayers are forced to foot the bill for the mortgage industry's indiscretions, while millionaire executives and private investors remain unscathed, should we feel so comfortable celebrating the growing divide between the haves and have-nots?"

We say, that's a lot to ponder. Which we intend to do shortly, but first we need to go buy a bunch of lottery tickets and try out for Who Wants To Be a Millionaire.

Image: The CW

Previously:
Salon Declares "The Summer of the Sensitive Slut"
All of Gossip Girl
All of 90210

Totally Meta: "Gossip Girl" Characters Confronted by Their Own Audience

Ben Kallen — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 15:25:00 GMT

We never thought we'd say this, but last night's episode of Gossip Girl contained a hilarious bit of meta-satire. While walking in the park, Dan and Serena were confronted by a trio of tween girls who knew everything about their lives and had extremely strong opinions about the couple's relationship. Yep, the show was basically dramatizing its own loyal but highly demanding target audience. (And maybe, for that matter, TV blog commenters.) It was a level of self-parody worthy of the film Stranger Than Fiction, or at least the first season of The O.C.

Watch the video below, and be sure to check out the perfect Serena clone.

Previously:
Gossip Girl: Light My Candle
Does Gossip Girl Hate Blake Lively?
Gossip Girl Actress' Real Family More Interesting Than Her Show Family

"One Tree Hill": Still a Teen Show?

Lindy Parker — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 21:21:00 GMT

We have a question. How long does a teen show have to be on the air before it stops being a teen show? Case in point: One Tree Hill...

Here's a show that's now in its sixth season and passed the 100-episode mark sometime last March.

Obviously, when it began, One Tree Hill was a CW teen soap opera about a group of high school kids in a small town in South Carolina (the Dawson Creek legacy continues). However, after six years on the air (not to mention a four-year time jump written into the plot of the fifth season), the characters that started out as sophomores in high school are now in their late twenties. A similar phenomenon occurred with Beverly Hills, 90210 over its ten year run -- what started as a show about teen issues, clearly couldn't fit the same description in its later seasons when most of the characters were drug addicts or publishing tabloids.

What's interesting to us is that even though say, One Tree Hill, is now a show about adult characters -- many of whom are either married or parents or both -- most people still think of it as a show for teenagers. Is this the fate of all long-running shows that start out with high school-aged characters? Is Saved by the Bell: Wedding in Las Vegas still a teen show? Just food for thought.

Does "Gossip Girl" Hate Blake Lively?

Ben Kallen — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 15:20:00 GMT

Look, we get it: In a scene on last night's Gossip Girl, Serena was trying to sex up Dan by seductively eating a chocolate-covered strawberry she just happened to have with her on the Hamptons Jitney. But guess what? It's not so sexy when it's a humongous strawberry, especially when you film someone struggling to eat one in a tight shot from the side. We happen to think Blake Lively's very pretty, but this closeup of her is one of the most unattractive images of an attractive person we've ever seen.

Where's this poor woman's agent? In the future, maybe she should be like Johnny Drama in the season premiere of Entourage, and refuse to be photographed from that side... while eating, anyway.

Screenshots: TheRemoteIsland.com, from the CW

PREVIOUSLY:
Our Gossip Girl Archive

"90210": A Haiku Review

Ben Kallen — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 16:25:00 GMT

Better than last time,

But jocks and mean girls get old

(Though Jennie didn't)

Photo: The CW

Previously:
90210: The Countdown Begins
Top 10 New Shows #3: 90210

Top Ten New Shows: #3: "90210"

Bryan Christian — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 16:31:00 GMT

The new fall season is almost here. Starting next week, the cable and broadcast networks will begin rolling out their new shows to see if they take off like castaways on an island or singing casino managers. Here, then, are the top ten new shows we're most looking forward to seeing.

The pilot's under lock and key, and the critics aren't getting a sneak peek – but reports from the cast have indicated that even if The CW's much heralded 90210 reboot will not feature Tori Spelling, it will have a BJ in the first episode. You just try to keep us away from this one.

What? Are you concerned that the good name of the original series is gonna get ruined with a parade of snarky, coked-up L.A. trustfunders? Really? Where were you when, um, this and this? This ain't fiction, baby; it's practically journalism. Our only concern is that, as some blogs are hinting at, they've cut Jessica Walter – a.k.a. Lucille Bluth – out of the show entirely. Guys, if she seems square to you, put a drink in her hand! (Oh, whew!)

90210 (Tuesdays at 8pm EST) premieres NEXT TUESDAY, September 2 at 8PM EST.

TOP TEN NEW SHOWS 2008

#1. "Fringe"
#2. "True Blood"
#3. "90210"
#4. "Life On Mars"
#5. "The Mentalist"
#6. "Sons of Anarchy"
#7. "Do Not Disturb"
#8. "Eleventh Hour"
#9. "Kath & Kim"
#10. "Knight Rider"

Top Ten Returning Shows: #3 - "Gossip Girl"

Bryan Christian — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 16:30:00 GMT

The new fall season is almost here. Starting next week, the cable and broadcast networks will be begin rolling out new episodes of all the shows that survived the writers-strike-afflicted 2007-2008 season, giving us the chance to get acquainted with some old friends -- and reacquaint ourselves with more than a few characters who we met only fleetingly last fall. Here, then, are the top ten returning shows that were most looking forward to seeing.

People, if you don't know that Gossip Girl is the show of the moment, well, maybe you don't live in New York. 'Cause that's what we're told over and over here. It's a little annoying, actually. It might also be right.

Normally, we'd be wary of such NY-centric notions, but we'll entertain this one for two reasons. The first is that after a flashy first season, and with tons of other teen shows breathing down its neck this year, Gossip Girl's garnered enough buzz, and its stars have attracted enough attention in the real world, to where (as the most recent batch of promos seem to promise) it has a serious shot at carving out a niche as the ultimate mashup of Heathers, Cruel Intentions, and 90210, which would tickle us pink. If we had one complaint about its camera-friendly cast, it's that only Leighton Meester and Ed Westwick really seem to take the dark side of their characters priveleged existence seriously week after week. (Chace Crawford, we just saw you in a crummy-but-awesome drug dealer movie on Cinemax, and you know what? You've got a little more gravity than we'd realized. Bring it to the show, brah!)

For another, it's kind of the CW's flagship show now, meaning that if Gossip Girl manages to get its groove on this season, and if 90210 (which looks more like Gossip Girl West than anything else) catches on, it might very well be credited with saving the struggling mini-network's neck. Now that's drama!

Gossip Girl (Mondays at 8PM) premieres THIS MONDAY, September 1 at 8PM on The CW

TOP TEN RETURNING SHOWS FALL 2008

#1. "30 Rock" & "Terminator"
#2. "Dexter"
#3. "Gossip Girl"
#4. "Pushing Daisies"
#5. "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia"
#6. "Heroes"
#7. "Dirty Sexy Money"
#8. "House"
#9. "Entourage" / "Californication"
#10. "The Shield"

Get a Sneak Peek at "Gossip Girl"

Ben Kallen — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 15:25:00 GMT

If you absolutely can't wait for the season premiere of Gossip Girl -- well, if you're over 15, that might be a bad sign in terms of your emotional development. But whatever the psychological reason for this strange desire, the CW has decided to help you out with a preview of the first five minutes. (Hint: Three and a half of them consist of makeout sessions.) To see what happens to Serena, Dan, Archie, Veronica, Richie Cunningham and all the gang, click through for the video:

Previously:

OMFG 2: Gossip Girl Ads Get Even Pornier

Supposed Gossip Girl Season Two Script Snippets Kinda Confuse Us

In Gossip Girl News: Madchen Amick To Join Cast... As a Cougar?

Catch the New Preview of "90210"

Ben Kallen — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 19:40:00 GMT

A new promo for the upcoming 90210 remix is here, and the verdict is: It looks just like every other teen show, except lit by a strobe light. Take a gander yourself, and you'll glimpse all-growed-up Shannen Doherty and still-hot Jennie Garth (but no Tori Spelling) out wandering among the wealthy tenth-graders. (Somewhere in there, there's also even a Persian character. Yay, diversity! Although the only even partly Jewish character, at a school that in real life would have hundreds of them, is related to awful David Silver. Boo, diversity!)

Click through for the video:

Photo: The CW; link via TVTattle.com

Previously:
90210 Reboot: Donna Martin Evacuates
C'mon, Admit It -- You Watch Teen Shows

Jealous Blake Lively Sexing Up Penn Badgley on "Gossip Girl" Set

Bryan Christian — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 20:35:00 GMT

Friendly alert kids -- if you want to avoid any and all clues as to the state of Serena and Nate's relationship next year, move along 'cause there ain't nothing to see here. But we warn you: maintaining your pristine spoiler-free status will mean you won't hear about Blake Lively and Penn Badgley sloppily sucking each others face on the set. (OK, we kind of just told you about that, but you'll never learn the whole story...)

Sounds like Nate will be sucking on at least one other girl's face next season, besides Serena's -- which means that according to Page Six, Ms. Lively is working overtime keeping Mr. Badgley a happy camper.

REAL-life lovers Penn Badgley and Blake Lively are heating up the set of "Gossip Girl." "It's gotten crazy, they are all over each other after every single take," said one spywitness. "They're constantly making out, and it's making everyone uncomfortable." Our spy tells us that Badgley also has a new love interest on the show, who seemed to make Lively a little "nervous." "He's in scenes with this new cute brunette, and Blake is all over him after wards. And no one on set is talking to the new girl be cause they don't want to upset Blake."

Hey, since we used the phrase "happy camper," we have to ask: don't these shows get these kids trailers to play tonsil hockey in? Oh, hang on; perhaps we are forgetting which network we're talking about here.

PREVIOUSLY:
OMFG 2! "Gossip Girl" Ads Get Even Pornier

The CW’s ‘Stylista’: ‘Top Model’ + ‘The Devil Wears Prada’ + Feeling a Small Bit of Your Soul Curdle

Nicole Ankowski — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 20:29:00 GMT

Will watching the new Tyra Banks-produced show Stylista corrode your soul? Hopefully not because, yeah, we’ll watch it. But we will try hard not to enjoy what looks to be an hour of torture for aspiring young stylists (with some set help and characterization straight from The Devil Wears Prada).

The new CW show is set to air Wednesdays this Fall. We’re looking forward to more lines like this: “I’m not really a back-stabber in an evil way.” Check out more awful, awful people and crying, crying contestants in these preview clips...

There Are Elimination Ceremonies, And Then There Are “Farmer Wants a Wife” Elimination Ceremonies…

Nicole Ankowski — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 19:50:00 GMT

Sign of the demise of our culture, or...really great reality television?

Each week the elimination “ceremonies” on Farmer Wants a Wife get more and more ridiculous. But last night topped them all. The ladies each had to give a cow a rectal palpation exam, to determine if the cow was pregnant. The loser’s cow would be the only one not pregnant.

Then again, this was really a situation where everybody loses. Pretty shitty way to go, huh?

Wait for minute 1:57.

[Thanks to Lauren De Luca for the tip! And the pun…]

Rumor Of "Gossip Girl" Spinoff Sets Blogosphere Ablaze With Vague Truthiness

Bryan Christian — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 15:31:00 GMT

Yesterday hundreds of thousands of plugged-in Gossip Girl fans got their hopes raised and almost immediately dashed on news of a possible Gossip Girl boarding school spinoff, focusing on Jenny Humphrey, the character played by Taylor Momsen. Turns out that's not the plan at all; except for the part where it totally is.

As they say on Pushing Daisies: the facts are these:

-- The Gossip Girl books (you remember books, right?) are getting the Jenny-in-boarding-school spinoff

-- Josh Schwartz, overlord of the GG TV series, denied any TV spinoff was being readied

-- Actually, claim sources within the CW, they totally would do a spinoff if the mothership does as well as they hope next year

To which we say: duh? At this point, the industry is so devoid of ideas, we wouldn't be surprised to hear of the networks fighting over an adaptation of the Iron Man toys that come with a Junior Whopper at Burger King. Of course they're gonna do this. (Assuming the CW makes it through the next year, of course.)

Prognosis For The CW (And TV) Is Looking Up

Bryan Christian — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 13:06:00 GMT

Hey kids, your favorite fourth-place Franken-network might just make it after all! The CW sold its ad inventory for the '08-'09 season with an 8% rate increase from last year, largely on the strength of their 90210 reboot. And this bodes well for the rest of the nets.

With less inventory to leverage and no ratings story to speak of, CW was in a "great position to get fleeced," as one rival network ad sales exec observed. But advertisers bucked convention wisdom of just a month ago by committing to TV in a big way, even as overall marketing budgets are being curtailed, in many cases, as a hedge against the economic slowdown. ...

Ya hear that? TV will get us the great recession of '08! Suck it, easily obtainable credit!

Hey, Don't Take The CW For Granted!

Bryan Christian — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 18:55:00 GMT

We know you love Gossip Girl and Top Model and maybe, what, um... Smallville? Supernatural? That's actually a kind of surprisingly good show, real scary sometimes... Oh, we know, we know: maybe you're eager to see the 90210 reboot. Oh, hang on: we kind of like Reaper too. Huh, you know what? We were totally gonna make a disparaging joke about the fifth network's meager lineup, but when you get down to it, hour for hour, they might have the most watchable schedule on the air.

Well, now that we've figured that out: don't get too comfy just yet. This year may well be make-or-break for the network, a fact that we were reminded of by the news that a Washington state CW affiliate just went bankrupt. No idea whether that was related to the network's low ratings or not; could have just been someone expensing strippers and Macallan, for alll we know. We're just saying: if you wanna keep Jennie Garth working, you know what to do.