The Remote Island : Disney Channel

Why Are The "HSM" Girls Dressed Like Thrift Store Brides?

Lindy Parker — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 20:20:00 GMT

Okay, we're just going to say it: we're a lot weirded out by this picture. Why are V. Hudge and T.Dale perched on Zac Efron, looking like a trio of Disney Channel polygamists? Or possibly like oversized toddlers festooned to re-enact scenes from Big Love. Perhaps it's the ill-fitting nature of both of these bride-y garments that puts us in mind of a dress up box. A dress up box in Utah. We are perplexed.

Our Trip to "High School Musical 3"

Lindy Parker — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 16:20:00 GMT

Okay, so we're not saying we'd want to see a movie this way every week, but we gotta say our weekend viewing of High School Musical 3: Senior Year was worth it if only for the glorious spectacle of it all. The Disney Channel's third HSM installment took in nearly 82 million dollars worldwide -- the biggest global success since The Dark Knight. Disney has to be thanking their lucky stars these zany singing, dancing kids are so likable.

Here's some highlights from our experience...

First of all, it goes without saying that we were in the big theater (the one with the balcony), the line to get in was so long that it was in four sections, and woe betide anyone who should accidentally step into the wrong part of the labyrinth. Everytime we thought we found the end, some mother of three was waving angrily at us from another part of the hallway and yelling, "Hey, the line end's back HERE!" One kid spilled his popcorn in excitement before we actually got into the theater, and the sing-a-long began long before the doors opened. At one point, a twenty-ish girl in front of us turned around and said, "Do you think these kids are going to be singing during the movie?" which kind of made us wonder if she knew what she was getting herself into.

We feel like we should point out that while the 5-13 year olds were certainly the loudest and most enthusiastic age group in attendance, they were not the largest. That honor belongs to the 18-25 contingent. The most amusing age-group by far was the late-twenties-early-thirty-somethings that shuffled in the spilled popcorn, cleared their throats and talked about the election to distract themselves from the fact that they were voluntarily standing in a mile-long line sans children to see high school kids break into song in the cafeteria.

We weren't bothered by it. We even smuggled some tacos into the theater in our backpack so it really would be just like high school. A couple of things we tallied on our knee with a sharpie:

Number of homemade HSM t-shirts: 5

Number of times the audience broke into audible singing: 7

Number of kids we saw clutching either the DVD of one of the previous HSM movies or the soundtrack CD: 4 (Why? What are they going to do with those in a movie theater?)

Number of times Zac Efron's appearance on screen elicited spontaneous applause: 8

High School Musical 3: Get in Line Kiddies

Lindy Parker — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 20:20:00 GMT

So, here's what's happening: the Disney Channel made-for-TV franchise, High School Musical, is hitting the big screen this weekend and the advanced ticket sales have smashed the previous records (held by Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, The Lord of the Rings, and all the James Bond films). You may not know this about us, but we at the Remote Island LOVE a mob scene. Frenzy is our thing. So, you'd better believe we're going to be there amid all those pre-teens clutching their pearls with nervous excitement. Don't worry, we'll report back on Monday with details from the fray (ideally involving priceless quotes from aforementioned pearl-clutchers). Should we make one of those personalized fan t-shirts with glitter paint and a bedazzler?

Here's the trailer (our favorite part is the weird greased lightning dance with Efron in a bandanna -- these kids are nothing if not committed):

Zac Efron: Really? Star of the Year?

Lindy Parker — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 21:30:00 GMT

Listen, it's not like we hate Zac Efron. Sure, the overly disheveled hair gives us pause, but, you know, mostly we feel like he's harmless. But Us Weekly's star of the year? Has he done anything this year besides High School Musical 3 and the movie version of Hairspray? Granted we're not actually sure what criterion Us Weekly uses to determine star of the year -- is it a tabloid thing? The most pictures in Disney Channel Magazine? Most ridiculous abs west of the Mississippi? (Okay, we felt a little cougar-ish on that last one)...

For the record, we're not here to begrudge anyone success, we're just saying if we were forced to pick a celebrity that might be an alien using extraterrestrial mind-control to propel their earthly popularity, Efron would be right behind Tom Cruise on our list of suspects. Maybe that's why Tom's so quick to offer up advice to the HSM stars? Uh huh. Yeah. Just put that in your pipe...

That's Just Wrong!

Ben Kallen — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 17:25:00 GMT

This is actual candy sold to promote Disney Channel teen sensation Hannah Montana, aka Miley Cyrus. (Yes, it's supposed to be a guitar -- we don't even want to know what the "microphone" looks like.)

Via BestWeekEver.tv

Previously:
Remake Me Over: We Make Old MTV Stars MTV-Friendly Again
Miley Cyrus' Bedroom a Big Draw in the Latest In Style
Jessica Simpson's Televised Em-bare-ass-ment