The Remote Island : Donald Sutherland

Dirty Sexy Samaire Armstrong

Olivia Purnell — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 21:20:00 GMT

Samaire is coming back to Dirty Sexy Money. Although we’re sure she’s both dirty and sexy, we can’t decide if we’re glad to have her back . . .

You remember Samaire; she played the quirky girl character on The O.C., Anna (the prototype for Gossip Girl’s pretty outsider, Vanessa).

Recently she’d switched from quirky outsider to rich girl insider on Dirty Sexy Money, playing Juliet Darling, one of the hard-partying, hissy-fit throwing, high-society Darling twins. However Juliet’s been missing in action during season 2. Ever since Samaire was taken off contract last spring (ouch), her character Juliet has supposedly been off seeing the world. Now, though, Samaire's up to her old Dirty Sexy tricks, reuniting with the rest of the Darling family for a Thanksgiving episode (entertainmentweekly.com).

Is this really a good idea? Adding yet another character to a cast of 19,000 Darlings.

Don’t get us wrong, Samaire is adorable in that sprightly and slightly lispy way that makes you think of Tinkerbelle and puffed pastries. We love fairy dust and baked goods. But, the cast is fairly loaded as is, and we’re just not sure if we can absorb any more storylines. They’ve already got Lucy Liu, Peter Krause, Donald Sutherland, Blair Underwood, and a Baldwin on the roster for gosh sakes. Isn’t there such a thing as too much dirty sexiness or too much sexy dirtiness? There might be.

Here’s hoping their Tofurkey Day ep will change our mind.

Previously:

"Dirty Sexy Money": Lucy Liu Goes Down

"Dirty Sexy Money": The Darlingest Darling of Them All

Olivia Purnell — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 18:56:00 GMT

So we, like every other Six Feet Under fan on the planet have totally come to terms with our crush on Peter Krause (we simultaneously want to pinch his cheeks and lick his face). We’ve also come to terms with our crush on Lucy Liu, cause the girl is too fabulous for words. But Donald Sutherland? Is it okay to crush on Donald Sutherland? He is flawless as the king pin Tripp Darling: slightly manipulative, fiercely intuitive, and undeniably dashing. Dear reader, we must admit that we find Mr. Sutherland . . . intriguing. But we keep telling ourselves: he is a mother-effing granddaddy.

Gratuitous Lucy Liu after the jump to break the Sutherland spell . . .

That's better. On to the show:

This week Nick George becomes more entrenched in Darling drama. He announces at the beginning of the ep that Leticia’s murder trial will be handled by some swanky southern defense attorney wearing a bolo tie. That little arrangement was doomed from the start. You can’t represent a Darling rocking a mini lasso as neck wear. Tripp Darling (mmmm, Sutherland) never wanted Texas esquire in the first place. He wanted Nick. And through Brian’s usual double-dealing and underhanded persuasion, Tripp gets what he wants.

That’s right, Nick is defending Leticia, the woman accused of murdering his father.

While you digest that lovely little morsel of information (go ahead, read that sentence again if you need to), let’s move on to Lucy Liu. Lucy’s character Nola began an affair with the baby Darling, Jeremy, last week. This week she’s at it again.

Let’s pause for a moment to note that sexy must be contagious because Lucy Liu somehow manages to rub off on Seth Gabel (Jeremy Darling). And their scenes together are nothing short of Hot (note the capital H, kids. It’s that serious).

In addition to warming J. Darling’s bed, Nola is also hard at work prosecuting mama Darling for murder. Dirtysexydrama.

Back to Nick: The family lawyer has even more on his plate. With Leticia’s trial all over the papers, Tripp is asked by the board to choose an alternate Vice Chair for his company. Being the smooth operator that he is, Tripp tells Nick to choose a successor to the Darling throne. Because, you know, Nick’s not busy. He needs a little more to do this week.

Although Karen lobbies hard for the title and Nick recommends crazy Brian, Tripp ultimately chooses Nick to take over the Vice chair position, making Nick “the darlingist Darling of them all.”

Tripp Darling has now dunked Nick, the only person willing to accuse him of Dutch George’s murder, so deeply in the bucket of Darling drama that it doesn’t look like he’ll ever resurface. Oh Mr. Sutherland, you sly silver fox, you.

“Dirty Sexy Money”: This Show is Stacked

Olivia Purnell — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 18:00:00 GMT

Darlings, there are some heavy weights on this show. Peter Krause and Donald Sutherland, for example. We forgot about these over the summer. Well, we didn’t forget exactly. We knew they existed, somewhere out there in the universe, floating about in their summer homes being very serious actors and working on their craft and whatever. But we forgot just how powerful these two are on screen. Peter with his smoldering deer-in-the-headlights-of-life charm and Donald with that smoldering older man’s swagger he’s got going on. He’s so gentile, so powerful, so . . . And we’re gushing.

Gratuitous Peter Krause to follow . . .

Yup, we love a man in a suit . . .

Before we embarrass ourselves, lets get into this week’s episode. The Darling drama began on a yacht, of course. It’s Nick George’s (Peter Krause’s) birthday, and being half stepchild, half-family lawyer, Tripp Darling (Donald!) gives Nick a yacht for the special occasion. Mmm-Hmm, if we had a lawyer (which we don’t) that lawyer would get be lucky to get a keychain and a slap on the ass (One to grow on, you know?).

Brian “the Priest” Darling is as priceless as ever. He’s working for papa bear now, running errands here and there, firing folk in Munich, delivering his own special brand of counsel straight to Tripp Darling’s ear. However Brian Jr., his adorable son and his son’s mother abandon ship this episode. And Brian Sr. is pissed. And he’s blaming Daddy. More hijinks to come, we’re sure.

Karen flawlessly played Natalie Zea has some serious drama up her sleeve. First she stops by Nick’s office to give the gift of nudity. Nick tells her to put her goodies away, but comes running back to K-town when he finds his wifey smooching with Jeremy Darling (isn’t he, like, twelve?). By the time Nick swings back in Karen’s ditzy direction, little miss Darling has found herself falling in love, with the enemy! She was already sleeping with Simon Elder on Daddy’s direction, spying for Tripp (Ewww. . . ). But now she’s falling for the ever-handsome Simon Elder.

As Karen’s love for Simon grows, so too does Patrick Darling’s love for tranny Carmelita (we love you Candis Cayne!). Apparently absence does make the heart grow fonder. Her highness Carmelita is still nowhere to be found (booo!!!). But Ellen, Patrick’s wife, does find a few pics of the lovely lady, and predictably goes batshit crazy. Unpredictably, her hissy fit ends fatally as she slips and falls, dying dramatically on the bathroom floor in a pool of her own blood. Dirty Sexy Drama, kids.

That’s almost too much drama for your mama, right? Not quite. Enter Lucy Liu stage right vamp and tramping it up with Jeremy Darling (mmmm-hmmm, the baby Darling). Why is Lucy so fierce? Why?

With Lucy Liu in the mix Dirty Sexy Money might just be the most overlooked show on television right now. And underrated. And . . . we’re gushing again.