The Remote Island : Entourage

Kate Mara Had A Big Week

Jake Kalish — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 14:28:00 GMT

The next big breakout actress, formerly of 24, will be breaking out all over the place...

Kate Mara will be joining the cast of Entourage this season, TVGuide.com has confirmed.

The young actress will play E's new assistant at his fledgling talent-management company, and perhaps his love interest as well.

Mara is best known for playing Heath Ledger's oldest daughter in Brokeback Mountain and for appearing as computer analyst Shari Rothenberg during 24's fifth season.

So that's good. But it's probably the second best news Kate Mara got this week:

Kate Mara and Clark Gregg have joined Marvel's "Iron Man 2," being directed by Jon Favreau and currently shooting in Manhattan Beach, Calif. Mara's role is being kept under wraps.

That, plus Kate's sister Rooney got the lead role of Nancy Thompson in the new Nightmare On Elm Street, with Jackie Earle Haley as Freddy Kreuger. It's a good week to be a Mara. But then, being a Mara seems like a pretty good life.

PREVIOUSLY:

Keifer Sutherland Shows NYC Some Love For Day 8 Of "24"

Anil Kapoor Of "Slumdog Millionaire" Joins "24"

Autumn Resser Heats Up "Entourage"

Today in WTF: "Entourage" Wins A Peabody Award!

Olivia Purnell — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 16:29:00 GMT

No lie, these guys won an award that recognizes . . .

"the most outstanding achievements in electronic media, including radio, television and cable."

Well, here's the thing, the show's good. It's fun, right? It's Marky Mark's best work. The drop-top driving, model-banging, velvet-rope parting, self-obsessed crew is hilarious, well-cast, and kind of pitch-perfect. But "the most outstanding?" We just don't know if Johnny Drama's bar brawls with Seth Green, Leighton Meester's performance as a virgin pop princess, and Turtle's constant quest for a little bit of groupie ass are "the most outstanding achievements."

But then again, the Peabody people say:

"Because submissions are accepted from a wide variety of sources and styles, deliberations seek 'Excellence On Its Own Terms.' Each entry is evaluated on the achievement of standards it establishes within its own contexts."

Okay, so given the subjective nature of Peabody "Excellence," we have to admit the following just might meet the criteria:

Excellent.

Previously:

Autumn Resser Heats Up "Entourage"

"Invasion" Star Finds Love on "Entourage"

Adrien Grenier Gives Food To The Hungry; No Sushi For Jeremy Piven

Hold On To Your Balls, Tom Brady Will Be On "Entourage"

Chenda Ngak — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 20:33:00 GMT

As if you needed another reason to covet Tom Brady's life. It's been announced that the New England Patriot will make an appearance on the HBO show, Entourage. We got the scoop from E! News.

"He will be playing himself at a celebrity golf tournament," a HBO publicist tells E! News.

Presumably, Adrian Grenier's Vinnie Chase will also be participating
in the tournament, but no word as to whether the New England Patriot
will share screen time with Mr. Mercury Jeremy Piven's Ari Gold.
(eonline.com)

We wonder if he'll have any Vinny-style hijinx. On the beach. Or a pool. Or the shower. Hey, so what if he's married to the world's most famous supermodel and probably wouldn't want to depict himself as a womanizer? The women who watch Entourage appreciate a little skin too, mmmmkay?

Autumn Resser Heats Up "Entourage"

Lindy Parker — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 20:00:00 GMT

It seems Entourage is stocking up on sweet and innocent these days: first Alexis Dziena brings a little love to the set, and now Autumn Reeser is joining the cast as a junior agent at Miller/Gold. We're taking bets on how long it will be before La Reeser is steaming up her office. After all, she's already well-versed in stripper fantasy sequences from her stint on The OC...

Previously:

Invasion Star Finds Love on Entourage

An O.C. Retrospective

"Invasion" Star Finds Love on "Entourage"

Lindy Parker — Mon, 16 Feb 2009 22:45:00 GMT

Remember Invasion, y'all? ABC's attempt at Invasion of the Body Snatchers: The TV Show? We feel like it might have done better if the plot hadn't involved a town that gets ravaged by a hurricane -- ABC yanked the promos immediately following the real life disaster of Hurricane Katrina. Bad timing all around. Regardless, in the few episodes we did see, we enjoyed Alexis Dziena as the elfin Kira Underlay.

Turns out Alexis is joining the cast of Entourage...

Sources confirm to me exclusively that the 24-year-old actress is joining the cast of Entourage as a rather unusual love interest for Kevin Connolly's Eric. (Ausiello Files)

We think Dziena's a good choice for Entourage, she's gorgeous and got that innocent-meets-mysterious thing going on. Check it out...

Today in Photoshoots: Jeremy Piven Tears It Up, and Audrina Patridge Takes It Off

Lindy Parker — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 23:00:00 GMT

Good news: Audrina Patridge is just the model for this Divine Rights of Denim ad, and -- at least for now -- the world is safe from yet another clothing line designed by a cast member from The Hills. Alledgedly, she did help "merchandise and style" the company's new spring/summer line, but we're not really sure what that means, and we can assume she just showed up and said, "Um, could they be skinnier?"

Bad news: We find this ad kind of lame. First, under no circumstances do we believe she's actually talking to anyone on the other end of that phone, and second, for reasons we can't fully explain, the jeans themselves put us in mind of a lightning screensaver.

In other news, Audrina Patridge wasn't the only one posing for the cameras this week: Page Six Magazine published some publicity shots that Jeremy "human thermometer" Piven did for his short-lived stint in Broadway's Speed The Plow. Seems Piven rejects the idea of mediocrity in all aspects of his performance...

According to Page Six Magazine, the 43-year-old Entourage star was a bit hard to direct during a September photo shoot the magazine did to promote Speed-the-Plow.

"This isn't my first time on the merry-go-round," he said when asked to pose for a traditional head-shot. "You want mediocre? I can give you mediocre." His pose? A DMV-worthy grin. But, as you can see here, Piven didn't want to give mediocre a little later. He popped his collar, and "letting out a guttural moan," ripped the sleeves off a $350 Giorgio Armani shirt, the mag reports. (People.com)

Previously:

Jeremy Piven Drops Out of David Mamet Play, Prompting Mamet to Suggest He Be Shoved Up Someone's Ass

No One Believes Jeremy Piven Eats That Much Sushi

No More Fashion for Heidi

See Adrian Grenier's Band The Honey Brothers In Brooklyn This Saturday

Jake Kalish — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 16:33:00 GMT

You know, if you live in the New York City area. We don't want you to make a special trip or anything. Because that might be expensive. And your car might break down. And then you might blame us. We don't want to deal with all that, we got enough problems.

Adran Grenier, aka Vinny Chase, has another name he goes by when he plays with the Honey Brothers - Honey DuContra. Grenier's pseudonym used to be Fluffer Honey, but that was probably just a little too porno. Anyway, Grenier plays drums and guitar for the band, along with contributing vocals. If you can't stalk Vinnie Chase...um, watch his band this week, you can join their fan club do find out about upcoming shows. And if you're just kinda curious what Adrian Grenier's band sounds like, here they are with the video for Some Of Them Are Nice Days:

PREVIOUSLY:

Our Entourage Archive

Jeremy Piven’s Sushi Story Might Cost Him

Olivia Purnell — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 18:26:00 GMT

Jeremy, Jeremy, Jeremy, how did you not see this coming, buddy? Of course the producers of Speed-The-Plow are going to investigate your claim of mercury poisoning. Of course they’re going to try to sue your pint-sized ass for all the cash they loose on the play in the wake of your impromptu departure.

Because let’s be honest . . .

You’re little mercury story is ridiculous. It’s as though you didn’t have your homework and you told the teacher that your pet lynx ate it. Not only do pets not eat homework (unless your arithmetic has been rubbed down with bolognaise), but are you really claiming to own a lynx? Where do you keep this lynx? Do you take it for walks? Is its fur as silky and manageable as say, a snow leopard, or a jaguar? How does your lynx compare to a jaguar?

These are all questions that your teacher/producers will ask when you tell a really silly tale, such as: I got mercury poisoning from eating a wheelbarrow full of sushi, a whole big ass wheelbarrow.

Does it suck to have to pay producers potential loses on a production that you starred in? Yes. But will it teach you to, say, develop a fake illness that makes sense? We hope so.

(nypost.com)

Previously:

No One Believes Jeremy Piven Eats That Much Sushi
Jeremy Piven Drops Out of David Mamet Play, Prompting Mamet to Suggest Piven Should be Shoved Up Someone’s Ass

ABC Drama Based On LeBron James' Experience As A Hoops Prodigy Will Be Co-Produced By LeBron and Ice Cube

Jake Kalish — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 18:29:00 GMT

This actually sounds pretty damn good. If you can't remember back to 2002 and 2003 (perhaps because you are only six years old) LeBron James was possibly the greatest high school basketball player ever, next to maybe Lew Alcindor - and the only thing greater than LeBron was the hype surrounding LeBron, making him sound like Black Jesus (see above for SI's religious overtones) - which is a whole lot to handle for a teenager. Incidentally, Black Jesus was a real nickname given to Earl "The Pearl" Monroe.

God, it would be amazing if our biggest problem was too many nicknames attempting to capture our greatness. Sorry, got sidetracked.

Anyway, this project will be co-produced by LeBron and Ice Cube, has been described as "Friday Night Lights meets Entourage." Here's a basic description:

(The as of yet untitled show) will follow an inner-city 15 year-old prep star who is transplanted to a small town school and forced to come of age while dealing with media pressure, unscrupulous moneymen and the jealousy of his peers.

Here's another description, courtesy of Matt Alvarez, President of CubeVision:

It's a grounded character study of teenage life in small town America, but it's also an exploration of the American Dream and the wish-fulfillment aspect of what his life has become.

Kind of like Friday Night Lights meets Entourage. Also a whole bunch like Spike Lee's 1998 He Got Game, which featured NBA superstar Ray Allen as a high-school basketball phenom. Named Jesus Shuttleworth. And if you're wondering, Jesus was not Caucasian in that movie. Or, for that matter, in the manger.

No One Believes Jeremy Piven Eats That Much Sushi

Olivia Purnell — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 21:00:00 GMT

The Broadway community has unanimously decided that J.Piv is an asswipe.

Need proof?

Last week Jeremy, notorious party bro-guy-dude, quit David Mamet’s Speed-The-Plow. He told Mamet, the press, and anyone else who would listen that he has mercury poisoning. Apparently, he has an excess of mercury in his system due to eating an unreal amount of sushi over the past few weeks. Although no one seems to believe his mercurial story, plenty of folks are quick to suggest that Piven does, in fact have a problem with excess.

Gawkwer.com says that Jtrain’s early exit probably had less to do with and overdose of unagi and more to do with his nonstop party hopping. The disco-naps just weren’t doing the trick anymore.

They also mention Jeremy’s other problem: Envy.

Their Broadway tipster says:

Jeremy also was jealous of Raul's reviews – which were far more effusive than his merely respectable ones – and insisted on being told when critics and Tony voters were in attendance – in order to "psych himself up" as he put it. (gawker.com)

Now reports have surfaced that former costar Raul took time during his Sunday matinee curtain call to talk smack about Jeremy Piven (radar.com).

Wow.

Previously:

Jeremy Piven Drops Out Of David Mamet Play, Prompting Mamet to Suggest Piven Be Shoved Up Someone's Ass

"Entourage": If Our Name Was [SPOILER], We Might Go With "Turtle" Too

Bryan Christian — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 21:56:00 GMT

Jerry Ferrara, you old dog you. Not only do you manage to almost steal an episode where Vinnie's career actually sinks further down the drain -- totally didn't see that one coming! -- but then we actually learn what your character's real name is.

Sal. Your name is Sal.

That. Is. Adorable. Your mini-romance with fake Jamie-Lynn was brief and touching in an unrequieted way (even though you apparently spent the day requieting). You and real Jamie-Lynn go somewhere and be cute, ya hear?

Yet another nailbiter of an episode here. We still think that the audience for this show is evenly split between those that think it's flailing and those that think it's finding depths that no one was aware it had. Count us firmly in the latter camp. Everything this season has gone wrong, and not just wrong in a "falling up" kind of way the way it normally does. Wrong in like a "what do i do?" kind of way. It's thrilling!

Even the Vinnie path to failure has been thrilling, and let's be honest, there's not much that's been thrilling about Vinnie other than the way he handles boobies. He's been the weird center of this storm for some time -- weirdly calm amid the frenzy -- but now he's actually tasted serious self-doubt. Hell, between Werner's Teutonic (and probably correct) complaints about his acting, and then unwittingly being the driving force behind getting Smoke Jumpers shut down, he's chowing on humble pie. Where does he go from here? Queens! Sure. Do you think he lives near Spiderman?

PREVIOUSLY:
Meadow and Turtle Are Actually Sitting In A Tree
Our Entourage Archive

Meadow and Turtle Are Actually Sitting In A Tree

Jake Kalish — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 19:27:00 GMT

We're. Blown. Away. By the news that Jamie-Lynn Sigler, aka Meadow Soprano, is reportedly dating Jerry Ferrara from Entourage. As in, the kinda tubby dude who plays Turtle, the kinda tubby dude who hooked up with Jamie-Lynn Sigler, aka Meadow Soprano, this season on Entourage. Mind bending, right?

Well, well done, Turtle/Jerry. For her part, Sigler says that Ferrara...

... is a very special person, and I'll leave it there.

Yes, he is -- Ferrara is really acquitting himself well this year, hinting at depths that his character's never shown before -- and also OMG, they're totally doing it. Yes! Represent, Turtle, for all of us who aren't Brad Pitt. Or even Piven.

-- Jake Kalish is the author of Santa vs. Satan: The Official Compendium of Imaginary Fights

PREVIOUSLY:
Our Entourage archive

Ari Gold's Brother Josh Lyman To Run Obama White House

Bryan Christian — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 17:20:00 GMT

President-Elect Barack Obama has asked Illinois Representative Rahm Emanuel to be his Chief of Staff, which for those of you who know nothing about politics, is a job that goes something like this: he'll be advising the President on who to have meetings with, brokering deals with the Congress, and shouting epithets at his homosexual assistant, who he's secretly in love with.

Oh, wait, that last one might not be true, but it's an easy mistake to make, since not only was Rahm Emanuel -- who earned his stripes as a Clinton advisor in the '90's -- the basis for Bradley Whitford's character on The West Wing, but he's also the brother of Ari Emanuel, the real-life Hollywood agent that Marky Mark modeled Ari Gold after on Entourage. And just so's ya know: the real-life Emanuel family makes Josh and Ari look pretty damned reserved.

Don't believe us? Click through for a peek at what we mean -- including a particularly satisfying confrontation between Rahm and newly deposed U.S. Senator Elizabeth Dole.

"Entourage": So How Are They Gonna Bring Boobs Back?

Bryan Christian — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 21:38:00 GMT

-- I can't let you go in there! You know there aren't any boobs!
-- Hey, that's my line!

Is it possible that we are starting to like Entourage more now that it seems to be consumed less with its stars falling up and more with their averting failure and making good? Possibly; the show's growing more complex, and the comedy doesn't see as hokey or jokey. And yet... it seems strange to us that we've gone so long without any big beautiful boobs popping up. There were a few out in the desert, but they weren't even in the same car as the boys. So we must ask: now that Ari's busy trying to make something of his business, and Vince is struggling to prove that he's an actual actor, are we gonna ever see the big naked breasts that made this show famous? We think perhaps... the question is how?

Will it be on the set of Smoke Jumpers? Perhaps. The strange and goofy tension that's blossoming between Vince and Jason Patric (embodying the least charitable aspects of his reputation with unnerving precision) could very easily spill over into a romantic entanglement, maybe between Vince, Jason, and a well-proportioned third party. But we're thinking that if it happens out in the forest, it'll be between Jason, aforementioned third party, and one of the boys, who seem dead-set on getting back at Jason after stealing Vince's lines. If it happens here, look for Drama to flex some muscle and get with Jason's girl -- and double points if he invokes the ghost of Andrew Shue when he does it.

However, Melrose Place aside, our money is on Ari's life getting complicated with boobs -- starting with Gary Cole's new, soon-to-be-recurring character Andrew Klein, a slightly sad-sack agent who came to Ari, his former partner, with a request for a loan but wound up with an offer of purchase on his company. He's clearly not gonna handle whatever "new life" Ari gets him very well, and judging by what he was saying about his marriage, we pretty much have a countdown running in our heads now for the scene with any of the following: hottubs, hotels, hookers, and... what's an h-word for "cocaine"?

Yeah, no telling who'll be first, strictly speaking, but Gary Cole, in our book, you are a lock for getting some boobies in your face... and for it ruin Ari's day.

"Entourage" Better Have Those TPS Reports Ready

Jake Kalish — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 19:37:00 GMT

According to the Hollywood Reporter and last night's promo, Gary Cole will join the cast of Entourage as a regular next season after being introduced in a three-episode arc next week as agent Andrew Klein, Ari Gold's longtime friend. Excellent news, this: Cole was so funny as Bill Lumbergh in Office Space -- everyone all together now: "Yeah... we're going to need to go ahead and move you downstairs to storage B..." -- that he's forever our boy, even if everything goes wrong for him and he winds up on Hulk Hogan's Celebrity Wrestling. Which he'd be great in, assuming he wrestled in character as Bill Lumbergh.

-- Jake Kalish is the author of Santa vs. Satan: The Official Compendium of Imaginary Fights

"Entourage": Ari Takes A Stand While Meadow Soprano Lends Turtle A Hand

Bryan Christian — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 18:17:00 GMT

Admit it: he's kind of tug-worthy without that stupid hat, right?

Did we detect a note of meta in last night's exciting installment of Entourage? Y'know, the part where Vinnie was offered a role in a TV show by Frank Darabont, and someone said "It's not TV, it's Frank Darabont" and Vinnie and the gang were all kind of like "Ehhhhhhh..." Could HBO have possibly known that by the time this episode aired, their stock would be so far down through their disaster of a Sunday night (Entourage not withstanding) that cracking wise about being stuck for five years on a tv show that "wasn't TV" wouldn't be ironic, it'd be kind of sad?

Maybe it's beside the point, because so much happened last night -- again, for like the 6th episode on a row -- that this was just one of many questions to flash through our mind. Number one: was that a daytime or overnight flight that the guys took back to CA from HI? 'Cause we kind of can't believe that any famous actress (Jamie-Lynn Sigler or whoever) would jerk someone off in broad daylight like that, let alone Turtle. (Drama, we're with you on that one.)

Question 2: would Ari really pass up taking over the studio? We think he might; Lloyd's touching monologue about his brand of abuse not cutting it at a publicly traded company seemed like a more vaild argument than anything he mentioned about the people at the agency or his clients.

Question 3: Are we really supposed to have believed that whole switcheroo that Ari pulled, getting Dana Gordon into position at the studio in his place? That all came together a little too neatly for our tastes, so we got our fingers crossed that something complicates that situation a little down the road. (Also, that we see more of Constance Zimmer, who we fully cop to crushing on way back on Good Morning, Miami, and by the way Jesus Christ, we can't believe we just admitted to that.)

Kind of a ho-hum episode for so much happening. How does that work exactly? Are we just putting an end to the first half of the season -- the tension over Vinnie's openended career -- and moving on to the practical matter of making Smoke Jumpers? We kind of suspect so, but hope not. In the last few weeks, this show had started to tread in slightly deeper waters, and we'd had to see that end. Ah well, we guess if Turtle keeps not wearing his hat, that'd be some progress, right?

"Entourage": It's Surprisingly Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday

Bryan Christian — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 20:12:00 GMT

People be whining about this season of Entourage -- but we think they're totally missing the point. Seems to us that this is a show whose creators -- not to mention whose protagonists -- are starting to wonder where they're going, what they're doing with their lives, if there's an end to this constant quest for boobs and bucks, and if so, how to get there. To put it another way: are you gonna be interested in Vinnie Chase when he's 35, checking his hairline, and in the middle of a paternity suit? No; us neither. So maybe now's the time to give him the gravity he's -- by everyone's account -- never had?

Hence last night's surprisingly moving episode, which managed to take a standard couple Entourage plotlines -- Ari turning a studio head's death to his own advantage and Vince trying to get with a model -- and combine their respective climaxes into brief, trenchant meditation on men growing apart. No way we saw that coming, but just think of all the things that have been happening this year to make both Vince and Ari start to reappraise their lives: Medillin, Dom, death...

The ep as a whole dealt with Vince trying to get with a model he's on a shoot with and Ari getting an offer to run a studio at the same time that his job at the agency is driving him nuts. Again: standard Entourage fare, rife with the potential for boorish profanity and perfect boobs. And then they pull this little moment out of thin air -- turning Ari and Vince's major lifts into minor falls -- and darned if we're pretty sure that scene would have worked w/o the Radiohead. (You can watch part of it here, btw.) Any other half-hour show, an episode like last night's would have worked as a season finale. Entourage is only halfway through their run. We have no idea what else is in store, but it seems like next ep Turtle is gonna possibly start crushing on ex-Meadow Soprano Jamie-Lynn Sigler... and if Turtle's getting a girlfriend, you know things are changing around these parts.

Wake Up And Smile: Maybe We Got An "Entourage" Defection Too?

Bryan Christian — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 13:24:00 GMT

Hey, you still like us, right?

Not everyone's digging on this (admittedly all over the place) season of Entourage like we are. Well, we got a theory about that, plus more news on a new CBS/YouTube agreement, the latest on the whole McCain/Letterman/Palin/Fey clusterfuck -- and The View not a nice place to work? For Star Jones? Never.

-- People are downright angry about the new season of Entourage. What? Not enough boobs to get you through the first actual hardship Vinnie Chase has ever seen? (Well, OK; we'd be OK with more boobs too. But still.)

-- Hey, remember back when The View was a hotbed of catty backstabbing, passive aggression, and awkward political posturing? Star Jones sure does, and by the sounds of her, she's not aware that there's been plenty of that sort of thing since she split.

-- John McCain, having survived 5 years in a Hanoi prison, seems to think that he will get through twenty minutes with Dave Letterman this Thursday, after famously blowing him off to save the economy a few weeks back. Will we be watching? Oh, you betcha!

-- Speaking of which, Tina Fey says that she will leave the planet if Sarah Palin gets elected Vice-President. Hmmm... We bet Palin's got a special place in heaven all picked out for her. And by heaven, we mean hell.

-- CBS will soon begin showing full episodes of its shows on YouTube, and YouTube will use the arrangement to premiere a new, hi-quality version of their streaming technology. But don't get too excited, unless you been meaning to catch up on Star Trek: TOS at work or something, because it's unlikely they'll be including new shows like The Mentalist for a while.

Death Springs Eternal On "Entourage" And "True Blood"

Bryan Christian — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 21:39:00 GMT

Don't worry, Sookie. I'm sure that Ari will get Vince that deal anyway.

We're suspending our weekly recaps of Entourage and True Blood today -- or at least, heavily amending them -- because we couldn't help but notice how last night, in some interesting ways, they were both kind of the same.

On the one hand, you got Sookie anguishing over the loss of her murdered grandmother, her grief driving her into the bed (and fangs) of Bill. On the other, you got Ari, literally douching a powerful producer to death -- and, if next week's promos are to be believed, possibly going through a transformation of his own as a result.

Are we stretching? Maybe. Weren't there all those other things happening too? Like Drama hiring Turtle as his assistant only to have him quit and Tara and Sam-The-Jesus-Christ-Can-He-Please-Werewolf-Out-Now-Werewolf getting it on for real? But even Entourage's B-plot, concerning the return of Dom and the preciousness of his homelife, had a kind of touching quality. It made for a strangely synchronous hour and a half of tv watching.

We'd almost say that maybe someone at HBO's actually thinking about their body of work these days, asking how they all work with each other in weird ways the way they did at the turn of the century, when you'd hang out in Manhattan with Carrie Bradshaw and then literally cross a bridge out of the city with Tony Soprano.

But then Little Britain USA came and ruined the whole vibe. Ha ha. So never mind.

PREVIOUSLY:
Our True Blood Archive
Our Entourage Archive

Mark Wahlberg to "SNL": That's Not Funny!

Ben Kallen — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 21:25:00 GMT

So you know that sketch SNL did last week about Mark Wahlberg and some farm animals? He doesn't approve.

"Someone showed it to me on YouTube. It wasn't like Tina Fey doing Sarah Palin, that's for sure. And Saturday Night Live hasn't been funny for a long time.... I used to watch it when Eddie Murphy was there and Joe Piscopo and Bill Murray. I don't even know who's on the show now."

Okay, so it's easy to criticize the buff rapper-turned actor-turned Entourage producer for missing the Joe Piscopo age of comedy, but as for this particular sketch? We actually kind of agree.

While we enjoyed the absurd tone of the whole thing, Andy Samberg really didn't look much like the former Marky Mark, and his impression seemed off the mark as well. Maybe we're just not familiar enough with Wahlberg's persona, but we're not sure why he'd keep telling animals to "say hello to your mother for me."

Still, we think Mark should take a lesson from Palin: When SNL makes fun of you, just smile and say you loved it. If you're lucky, maybe they'll even beg you to be on the show too.

What did you think of the sketch? Watch it again below, and decide for yourself.

Previously:
Wake Up and Smile: There's TV Besides Sarah Palin, Guys

Wake Up And Smile: Kim Kardashian Wins Argument With Jailbait-y Picture

Bryan Christian — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 13:33:00 GMT

Hang on, are we going to jail for this?

Click through for the latest news on Kim, Dancing with the Stars, Entourage, Jason Statham, So You Think You Can Dance?, Smallville, 30 Rock -- and a Will and Grace spinoff?

-- For once, a picture of a half-naked 14-year old that was supposed to be released. Reality queen Kim Kardashian's released the pic on her website to make the case that she's never had plastic surgery. To which we say: maybe we can get some evidence that doesn't make us feel so dirty and old?

-- Meanwhile, present day La Kim K may be invited back to Dancing with the Stars after Misty May-Treanor tears her Achilles tendon. ("Present day La Kim K"? What is this, Heroes?)

-- Entourage has been renewed for a sixth season -- right when more than a few people have started complaining about the fifth one.

-- Hey, you a fan of So You Think You Can Dance? Looks like you and professional cinematic oil wrestler Jason Statham might have something to chat about.

-- Producers may be using press for The Graysons, the CW's just announced "Young Robin" show, to subtly push for another season of Smallville. Because that franchise hasn't been through enough yet.

-- 30 Rock pays the bills by doing weir, funny little placements for Snapple, SoyJoy, and other products for, like, two years -- and bloggers are just now starting to freak out about it?

-- Will and Grace's Jack and Karen might get their own show, according to about a billion people quoting the National Enquirer. Does no one at NBC understand that Frazier is the exception to the rule, not the example?

"Entourage": Eric Roberts Is Vince's Psychedelic Shaman? Good Luck.

Bryan Christian — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 21:25:00 GMT

Entourage took a trip this week. 'Cause they're fun guys! Get it, fun-gi?

That's right, Ari, E, Vince, Drama, Turtle and of course Eric Roberts all hopped in the magic Winni and hightailed it out to Joshua Tree to ingest some of the juiciest lookin’ shrooms this side of Kentucky. Turns out that in Entourage’s Hollyworld Eric Roberts is not only Julia’s bro, but also a purveyor of fine hallucinogens. Does that explain his presence in The Dark Knight? No.

For a season that has been amazing mainly for its’ blazing plot speed, this week’s episode slowed the whole thing down for a little classic drugging, with Ari “Why are my hands so big?” Gold being the center of the hilarity. Left alone in the desert experiencing his first trip, he ends up having to be agent-whispered by Lloyd -- speaking as Confucius!!! -- through the depths of his mind and back into safety.

While Ari is lost, the rest of the crew spend their journey dedicated to their purpose. Vince needs to decide whether to star in an Arctic Benji sequel (remake? is there some hybrid term?) to earn some much needed green, thus sacrificing any shred of artistic integrity he might have left after the fat suit. In the end, after a slew of “signs” he decides to bail on the stupid flick, and begs Ari to do whatever he can to get him on Smoke Jumpers. We are left to wonder weather Cuba Gooding Jr. was ever faced with the same decision before Snow Dogs or Love Boat, and perhaps more importantly why the convertible full of porn stars the guys encountered on the road out to Joshua Tree didn’t convince Vince to pursue a life in hardcore smut. God knows he’s got reverse cowgirl down.

The show ends with Ari, in just about the biggest home life trouble he’s ever seen after Mrs. Ari comes home to find Lloyd’s total-Freddie Mercury-style-party raging in the pool while Ari is just coming down. A level one no-no in the marital handbook, people, page 71: no gay sex parties while mommy is out.

Entourage, only five episodes into the season has already covered more ground than most shows do in three seasons. We note admiringly that each ep has been completely different from the one before, and whereas this installment could have been filled with nothing but tripping jokes, it actually ended up being a relatively authentic shroom trip (erm, according to what we’ve heard about them, that is) -- fears, confusion, oddities, revelations, giggles, and love abounded. Decisions were made, lives were changed, penises were misplaced, if for only a few hours. And all, thankfully, without a note of sitar music. (Guess Eric Roberts forgot his iPod.)

-- Seth Jacobs

PREVIOUSLY:
"Entourage": Keep Your Friends Close
"Entourage": Everyone Gets A Taste Of Gold

"Entourage": Keep Your Friends Close

Bryan Christian — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 19:10:00 GMT

Entourage seems to have dropped a bit of its goofy frat boy past and become the grown-up Hollywood insider comedy we’ve always wanted it to be. That is not to say that we don’t enjoy seeing Drama shed a few man tears on The View, but last night’s episode was basically a master class in how flicks actually get green lit.

In H-Town, Scripts go from nothing to million dollar deals in a matter of hours. When you heat up it goes fast, and when you cool down it never seems to stop. Vince’s star is still reeling from Medillin, but E’s future looks sparkly. His new writers are the talk of the town, and Vince can’t get his face in a movie unless it’s a re-make of Benji in the arctic circle. (Sounds like a two picture deal for Sarah Palin.)

So, the deal in question surrounds E’s “indie” script now titled Smoke Jumpers (kind of a wack title; sounds like a stoner steeple chase film). Amanda offers 100 against 300. Ari bugs, let’s loose a hot stream of profanity but then gets 500 against a mil -- with Vince in a secondary lead. Amanda hears this and storms out of a lunch letting fly a few choice words of her own, but then comes crawling back with a mill against two -- with Ed Norton. Basically a true bidding battle, that puts E’s hick clients (Giovanni Ribisi and Lukas Haas) in the driver’s seat, but leave Vince out in the cold. In Hollywood it seems the law of the land is: he (she) who curses last wins the war. So kids pay attention. Curse loud, fast, and for all to hear, and the next thing you know you’ll be rich.

The up-shot of all of this is that it looks like little E is all grown up now, and sadly it may mean that his friendship with Vince might just have to suffer, because the show ends with E having to choose between his new client’s wallets and his oldest friend’s career.

Where last episode was Ari’s time to shine, this was E’s coming out party. He stayed calm, cool, and collected even when Gold was insulting his height, which is tough coming from Piven as he ain’t the tallest tree in the forest either.

Meanwhile Drama basically gets Punk’d into crying on national TV over the loss of his French love. Was Whoopi the one who got him in that jam or his jerkoff costar? The question is moot. Either way, Shauna and Turtle go ballistic and envision the demise of Drama’s sliver of a career -- but maybe Drama’s endless drama will launch him into a new realm? Goodbye thug; hello, sensitive gay icon? Oh, yeah; a much better fit. At least according to all of Lloyd’s buddies. Vince may not be the only Chase who's career's turned a corner.

-- Seth Jacobs

PREVIOUSLY:
"Entourage": Everyone Gets A Taste Of Gold
"Entourage": Will A "Gossip Girl" Revive Vinnie Chase's Career?

"Californication": Wherein We Nibble At The Hand That Feeds Us

Bryan Christian — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 18:11:00 GMT

Do you guys care about Californication? Yes, we know, right now they are paying the bills. (Thanks, guys.) But we really do want to know. 'Cause we sort of do, but maybe that's just in light of recent events that indicate that the show's isn't so much Showtime's middle-aged version of Entourage as it is David Duchovny's version of Curb Your Enthusiasm: a televisual delivery system for the most- and least-attractive aspects of the star's unruly id?

In any event, last night Hank got a vasectomy, accidentally went down on someone other than his wife at a party, they got into a fight in the car, and he wound up in jail. Also: his daughter Becca's nervous, Marcy's loving the blow, and Leoben from Battestar's the guy who was throwing the party, and in this universe he is apparently a music producer who's gonna wind up hiring Hank to write his biography. Which has been illustrative of our main problem with this show: he falls up. He screws something up, it works out. He gets laid. People tell him exactly what they need from him. And still, he screws something else up and it all happens again. You know, if we wanted to be in a room full of people that adore David Duchovny, we'd go to X-Files conventions. But maybe that's all about to change this year? Rumor is, this season's all about the emptiness of happy endings. Guess we'll see.

Anyhoo, for our money, the most interesting thing that happened last night was that Hank, still smarting from getting snipped, ran into to the hippie from Season One, played by Sports Illustrated model Michelle Lombardo. Not only is she scary hot and one of the few women on the show to not appear topless -- YET -- but she was also eating a popsicle while chatting with Hank. So we hope to see her again. A lot.

Sunday-Night TV Party!

Ben Kallen — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 21:08:00 GMT

Okay, so Friday night we get two guys debating over whose plan will fix the economy (answer: neither), and Saturday is mostly reruns because the networks assume you're out getting drunk. That leaves Sunday as the next big night for new shows and season premieres.

So here are your many choices for Sunday-night viewing entertainment:

ABC: Extreme Makeover, Home Edition Boo-hoo, then yay! Either you like this sort of thing or you don't.

ABC: Desperate Housewives The whole show moves five years into the future. Does this mean everyone can stop using all the Botox?

ABC: Brothers & Sisters They bicker! They make up! They sleep with each other! (Okay, just former siblings Justin and Rebecca, but still -- eww.)

CBS: 60 Minutes Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson explains why the government's giving billions of dollars to the bank that's foreclosing on your home. Plus, the scientist who's testing that new supercollider device explains why it probably won't destroy the universe, he hopes. Fun!

CBS: The Amazing Race 13 Everyone's always saying that this is the best reality-competition show out there. So how come we always watch it with our finger on the fast-forward button?

CBS: Cold Case Detectives figure out who murdered someone a long time ago, while pop music from that era plays in their heads. You were expecting something different?

CBS: The Unit The team attempts to stop the assassination of the president-elect and vice-president elect. Guess that means neither of them owns a moose gun.

NBC: Sunday Night Football If this wins in the ratings, all the networks execs will be thinking, "Now, why do we pay writers again?"

Fox: The Simpsons As the 20th season begins, Homer and Marge get unlikely new jobs. Look for a joke about how many times this has happened on the show before, then another joke about how many times they've made a joke like that before.

Fox: King of the Hill Bill's love of sweets causes him to develop diabetes, which is totally different from the time Bobby's love of fatty foods caused him to develop gout. Sorry, these shows are great, but maybe it's time for something new around here.

Fox: Family Guy Brian and Cleveland get into a love triangle, which reminds us of the time we saw Raquel Welch eat 20 pounds of raw bacon at the People's Choice Awards.

Fox: American Dad It's Roger the alien's birthday, and he continues to creep us out in ways we don't entirely understand.

HBO: Entourage Johnny Drama goes on The View -- and we can't imagine that not being funny.

HBO: Little Britain USA In its new American version, the British sketch comedy is still all about the dick jokes.

HBO: The Life and Times of Tim A young dude suffers through all kinds of hardships and humiliations. It's like Worst Week, but darker. And animated.

Showtime: Dexter Some critics have complained that the third season is too similar to the first two. To us, that's a good thing. Watch this show.

Showtime: Californication Sure, there's something weird about diagnosed sex addict David Duchovny playing an undiagnosed sex addict. But as much as we hate to like Californication, we like it anyway.

AMC: Mad Men Make that the Emmy-winning Mad Men. What else is there to say?

Photo collage: Egregiously "borrowed" from Alan Sepinwall on NJ.com

Previously:
TV Orgy Tonight!

"Entourage": Everyone Gets A Taste Of Gold

Bryan Christian — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 20:08:00 GMT

Even real people!

If week one got us hooked, and week two reeled us in, then week three yanked us into the boat, cleaned us, gutted us, and turned us into Morton’s Fishfries™. (If that’s not a brand than it should be.)

This week’s episode starts with the boys getting a reaming from Vince’s accountant. It seems as if Chase and co. are broke. Vince has two choices, file chapter 11, or get some work instantly. With bankruptcy out of the question due to a family history, the fellas head over to Shauna’s to see if they can rustle up some green. Turns out that in Hollywood a heart throb can get 200 large just for showing his face at a sweet sixteen.

Take that, “MTV’s most pimped out Sweet Sixteen!” In H-Town playas drop 200 Geesils on an appearance, and don’t bat an eye. All y’all new money fools better reconize!

Meanwhile Ari’s scores a Ferrari from the misses as a 25th anniversary gift. (Sheee-it, if that marriage can last 25 years they both deserve Ferraris.) With the plate, “ARISFRRI” Mr. Gold then proceeds to get in broadcast television’s, first ever Agent street race; complete with kick-ass car mount shots and the sweet realistic touch of hard breaking to account for the pedestrian cars in LA traffic. Ari’s rival, Adam Davees (from Ari’s former agency) almost bites it by wrapping his Porsche around an armored vehicle, before going on to send Ari up the ass of a school bus.

Ari, never the man to take loss well, sends Davees a hundred dollar bill in a bag filled with, what we are to assume is Lloyd’s feces. This is around when we started wondering if it’s this type of behavior that led to Hollywood making such great films as, Ballistics: Ecks vs Sever. Ari is then repaid, by being cuffed to his chair and having male stripper junk waggled all up in his grille piece in front of his entire company. You see where this is going? Ari then shoots back some naked pictures of a girlfriend. Yes, we decide, it’s exactly at times like this that films like the Son of the Mask probably get green lit. Well, they can’t all be Super Troopers, right? Long story short, the battle ends when Ari ends up literally bitch slapping Adam in front of the entire agenting world, because…

(To be read in the voice of the great Don La Fontaine)

“In the dog eat dog world of H-Wood super agents only the strongest survive… And those who don’t, feel the sting of Ari… Jeremy Piven is… THE TASTE OF GOLD!”

What’s left to say after that?

Well, Amanda loves E’s indy script that he’s pushing and so does Ed Norton. Kevin Pollak and The Nanny (yes, Fran Drescher makes an appearance and in case you were wondering her voice is still hers and only hers) give their baby the sweet sixteen birthday party of a lifetime. Their daughter, who is deemed a hoozie (sp?) -- part hooker, part floozie -- by Drama is doing everything she can to star in some short internet films of her own. Drama’s hatred of the female sex finally bubbles up at the last moment as he slurs Frankie Valli into a mic with Vince and then gaks stolen Johnny Walker Gold all over the cake. It is amazing what this show can pack into one episode. Takes some shows years to get through this much story, character development, jokes, action, sex, and vomit. (We're looking at you, Ghost Whisperer!) The show ends with the boys making a quick escape, leaving the audience to mutter over and over Vince’s line to Turtle from earlier, “Drive like you do in Grand Theft Auto.” Absolutely, my man. Mas oro!

-- Seth Jacobs

* Ed: OK, might have been Johnny Blue -- but we got nothing Blue in the headline, do we? Here's to truthiness!

"Entourage": Will A "Gossip Girl" Revive Vinnie Chase's Career?

Bryan Christian — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 14:28:00 GMT

In cae you guys had forgotten Leighton Meester's first appearance on the show... which we're pretty sure means you must be dead below the waist.

Hey, what's the only way to justify Vinnie's ditching an ongoing beach hideaway threesome and coming back to LA? How's about finally kicking it with the virginal pop-singer from Season One?

(And if that don't work, how's a cast of thousands grab ya?)

Unlike last night's True Blood (more on that later), the masterminds at Entourage reeled in the hook they landed last time in this, their second outing this season. Theirs was a two-pronged approach:

1) Keep you wowed with guest stars, like Tony Bennett, Lukas Haas, Giovanni Ribisi, Carla Gugino, real-life Entourage insipration and producer Mark Wahlberg, and most notably Gossip Girl's Leighton Meester, reprising her role from Season One as Justine Chapin, a (formerly) virginal pop singer.

2) Big payoff on some longstanding plot questions, like "What does Ari really think of Vinnie?," "What's up Amanda, Vinnie's short-lived replacement agent from Season Three?," and "Is Vinnie ever gonna nail Leighton Meester as Justine Chapin, that virginal pop singer from Season One?"

Our tour began this week with Turtle looking for a party, for some pussy, and for someone to go with him while he looks for both -- and coming up empty. Vinnie's been concentrating on his career, as has Eric, and Drama's still trying to make this bi-contintental Jacqueline thing work. But the crew loosens up when Ari pledges to be on the case night and day to get Vinnie back to the top (chance of success, he tells Wahlberg: 50/50), and Vinnie runs into Justine at brunch and invites him to the wrap party for her new video with Tony Bennett.

So is all going well for the Queens boys? Not really. Justine doesn't seem that interested in Vinnie, Drama's intent on overthinking (and ultimately scuttling) his long-distance relationship, and most explosively, Eric is trying to drum up interest in a script and its two weirdo authors (Haas, Ribisi) by bringing Amanda in to have a look.

In any other show, that would be enough: you got intrigue, you got your longstanding relationship with the show rewarded, and you got the promise of partial Leighton Meester nudity. But no, Doug Ellin goes for broke: Vinnie's so nervous about his career -- and weirded out by a sexy-but-spineless fan -- that he ditches the wrap party and confronts Ari again about his career. Prompting this completely badass exchange:

Vinnie: You don't think I'm a good actor.
Ari: The jury's still out, but I'm beginning to think you're a movie star again.

Sorry, but in terms of this show, that's like someone going "The Island? Yeah, it's right here beneath Micronesia" on Lost: it's something you've always wanted to know about, and yet even though you finally know, you learn that it might not change anything. Thumbs up, guys; stakes was already high, and now they just got higher.

Here's the thing: Wikipedia's reporting that Meester's only gonna be on the show for a single episode this year. True? 'Cause we really think that one way to get Vinnie's profile back up would be to make him part of a power couple, you know? They could be called "Vinine" and everything. No?

The Weekly Rewind: Floating in a Sea of Television

Ben Kallen — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 21:35:00 GMT

The new TV season is here, and so far it's going pretty well. None of the new shows have bowled us over yet, but that's okay, because we still have other things on our minds... such as politics, and stars' naked booties. Let's remember it all fondly with the highlights of the week.

We gawked at the stars on the Video Music Awards, and examined what they were wearing. But we were glad host Russell Brand didn't offer Britney a drink.

We saw far more than we should have of Julianna Margulies and Jessica Simpson. But Pam Anderson? We've seen it all before.

We watched Kanye West get arrested at the airport, apparently for carrying more than an ounce of toothpaste.

We heard that a fellow critic whacked ailing legend Roger Ebert at a movie screening, even though it wasn't Beyond the Valley of the Dolls.

We saw Gossip Girl uglify Blake Lively using nothing but a bad camera angle and a strawberry. But the wholesome kids of 90210 almost gave us sugar shock, even though there was a hint of bitterness.

We watched Barack Obama on Letterman, then we all blabbed about Sarah Palin going up against Charlie Gibson, and it made us about as happy as a pig in... well, never mind. But in more important political news, we got a clue about whether or not Tina Fey will return to Saturday Night Live.

We thought the "vamp walks into a bar" drama True Blood was cool, though not entirely original. We thought the "agent walks into a conspiracy" drama Fringe was pretty good as well. Not that you'd know it from the ratings.

We learned that rock star Shirley Manson is a shape-shifting Terminator. (Of course, Marilyn Manson is Kevin from The Wonder Years.)

We saw Entourage's Vinnie Chase trade a sex romp on the beach in Mexico for meeting interruptus back in Hollywood, and it was as fun as ever -- for us and, especially, for him.

We heard that the new season of 24 and the first season of Dollhouse were temporarily shutting down production due to "minor" script problems. Which is like a doctor telling you you'll have to undergo "minor" surgery.

...And we got terrible news about Paris Hilton.

Previously:
The Weekly Rewind: We're All Just a Bunch of Gossip Girls

Does "Gossip Girl" Hate Blake Lively?

Ben Kallen — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 15:20:00 GMT

Look, we get it: In a scene on last night's Gossip Girl, Serena was trying to sex up Dan by seductively eating a chocolate-covered strawberry she just happened to have with her on the Hamptons Jitney. But guess what? It's not so sexy when it's a humongous strawberry, especially when you film someone struggling to eat one in a tight shot from the side. We happen to think Blake Lively's very pretty, but this closeup of her is one of the most unattractive images of an attractive person we've ever seen.

Where's this poor woman's agent? In the future, maybe she should be like Johnny Drama in the season premiere of Entourage, and refuse to be photographed from that side... while eating, anyway.

Screenshots: TheRemoteIsland.com, from the CW

PREVIOUSLY:
Our Gossip Girl Archive

A Haiku for the Return of "Entourage"

Ben Kallen — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 15:25:00 GMT

Vinnie's hiding out

With babes on a beach. If that's

Failure, what's success?

Previously:
Play Viking Quest: The Video Game
A Haiku for the Return of Big Brother