The Remote Island : Full House

Mary-Kate Olsen Gets Her "Full House" Fix

Lindy Parker — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 22:00:00 GMT

Obviously, life has a bit since Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen were splitting scenes on Full House, but it turns out those days aren't completely forgotten...

Mary-Kate Olsen admits she sometimes catches a rerun of her classic sitcom Full House.
"Full House is on all the time. Really. I see that it's on," she told March's Interview. "But last year, Ashley spent the night at my place and I woke up to the theme song at seven in the morning. I was like, 'What are you doing?'"
Asked to sing the show's catchy theme song, Olsen says, "I don't know the exact words. It starts off like, [sings] 'The milkman, the paperboy . . .' [laughs] There you go. That's my singing for the day." (Us Magazine)

Idea for a reality series we would watch: Get a bunch of ex-sitcom stars to karaoke the theme songs from their shows American Idol-style. Each week the winner could donate the prize money to a charity of his/her choice. Can you just imagine Mario Lopez giving his all to a rendition of "When I wake up in the morning...." This could be genius.

Jodie Sweetin, "Celebrity Rehab"

Jake Kalish — Mon, 19 Jan 2009 15:28:00 GMT

Ah, poor Jodie Sweetin, formerly of Full House. First the trouble with meth, and the drinking. Now the end of her marriage, and not being allowed to see her baby. Sweetin claims to now be "100% sober," but we know it's a process. That should take place on television. We've been following Jodie Sweetin creepily on her road to recovery, and now we've got two words for her: Celebrity Rehab. We already made this suggestion to Tara Reid,for Tara Reid-ing all over the place, but she hasn't listened. You should, Jodie. You've got a kid, some bad habits, and a flagging career. Go to Celebrity Rehab, and make America proud. You'll get the help you need, and get reacquainted with the American viewing public. That's killing two birds with one methamphetamine-addicted stone.

PREVIOUSLY:

Jodie Sweetin Of "Full House", Off The Wagon And Not Allowed To Be Alone With Her Baby

Jodie Sweetin Of "Full House" Wants To Talk About Her Upcoming Book, Not Her Upcoming Court Case

"Full House's" Jodie Sweetin Says She's Sober, Again

Please, Tara Reid, "Celebrity Rehab"!!!

“Full House’s” Jodie Sweetin Says She’s Sober, Again

Olivia Purnell — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 21:00:00 GMT

We’d almost forgotten all about Stephanie Tanner until she reentered our universe as a ‘celebrity’ in June of 2008. That fateful month Jodie Sweetin, aka Steph, was People Magazine’s cover girl featured along with her 7-week-old daughter Zoie in an article entitled “From Meth Addict to New Mom” (people.com). Way back then, Jodie was happy healthy and ready to talk about it.

This month, Steph’s back in the headlines.

Jodie’s estranged husband, Cody Herpin, alleges in court papers that Steph’s taken a nosedive off of the sobriety bus. He says he’s worried about little Zoie. Jodie fought back this week on People.com. She’s says she’s now “100 percent sober.” She admits to having a few glasses of wine at a dinner over the summer, but now she says back on the wagon and working the steps. Her hubby Herpin doesn’t seem to be buying it. Regardless, both husband and wife must be drug tested before their next hearing on February 9th, so we'll see who's been hitting the meth sauce (people.com).

This whole mess saddens us. We can remember when Jodie was just an irritating little girl with a side ponytail and a snaggle-toothed smile. Her only concern back then: trying to upstage those damn Olsens. Those were the days. From Mary-Kate to meth. They grow up so fast, don’t they?

Previously:

Jodie Sweetin Of "Full House", Off The Wagon And Not Allowed To Be Alone With Her Baby

Jodie Sweetin of "Full House" Wants to Talk About Her Upcoming Book Not Her Upcoming Court Case

Jodie Sweetin Of "Full House" Wants To Talk About Her Upcoming Book, Not Her Upcoming Court Case

Jake Kalish — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 22:33:00 GMT

And with all the hell that's been breaking loose in her life post-Saget/Stamos/Olsens, who can blame her for wanting to pocket a little coin for her troubles?

Jodie Sweetin, a recovering meth addict whose marriage just fell apart and who is no longer allowed to be alone with her baby because she drove drunk with the kid in the car, doesn't really want to talk about all that. But she will promote her upcoming book. Video courtesy of Radar Online, who, like us, can't stop working that Full House beat, all these years later:

PREVIOUSLY: Jodie Sweetin of "Full House", Off The Wagon And Not Allowed To Be Alone With Her Baby

Jodie Sweetin Of "Full House," Off The Wagon And Not Allowed To Be Alone With Her Baby

Jake Kalish — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 21:44:00 GMT

Sad celebrity news - former Full House star (and meth addict) has apparently fallen off the wagon, and a judge has ruled she can't see her 8-month old daughter without supervision. Which actually isn't that tough, since Sweetin, 26, lives with her parents, after the breakup of her year-and a half long marriage. We told you, sad. No evidence Sweetin is back on the meth - this ruling has to do with her allegedly drinking again, and possibly driving drunk with her baby in the car. But the lawyer for her estranged husband Cody Herpin said this is about

primarily alcohol [abuse] but there's also concern regarding methamphetamines.

Ugly stuff. Just this May we wrote about her blogging , and in June People went with this cover:

Well, if Celebrity Rehab has taught us anything, it's that this recovery stuff ain't easy.

PREVIOUSLY: Our Full House Archive

"Gossip Girl" Spinoff? "Full House" Reboot? Nope, Sez E!

Bryan Christian — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 15:28:00 GMT

Wow, big day for the lovely Kristin Dos Santos over at E! Online -- she's destroyed two of our biggest TV dreams in the space of mere hours.

1) If only Star magazine read this silly little gossip column we know called Watch With Kristin (check it out at kristin.eonline.com!), they would know that the [Gossip Girl] Rufus-and-Lily-as-young-rockers stuff was never meant as a series concept, but rather was a pitch for the Verizon-sponsored webisodes. And as executive producer Josh Schwartz first revealed to me a little while back, that concept was scrapped in favor of the upcoming Dorota webisodes! Holler.

Holler? Hmm. She say that with her pinkie up, you think? But wait, there's more.

2) Just as Warner Brothers officially shoots down rumors of a Gossip Girl spinoff, I've just been told by a reliable inside source that John Stamos is no longer pitching a "semi-remake" of Full House. "We couldn't make the deal," says the source, who is close to the project. "It's completely dead right now."

Wow. Thanks Kristin, for totally harshing our buzz. What next, you gonna tell us Santa doesn't exist? Well, just don't tell Mario Lopez. He'll be crushed.

PREVIOUSLY
"Full House" Remake?
"Gossip Girl": Everyone Says I Love You
“Gossip Girl” Spinoff?

"Full House" Remake?

Jake Kalish — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 19:31:00 GMT

This is too good to be true. Apparently Stamos is working on the idea -- not surprising considering he's gonna have some free time on his hands soon -- and it would star Candace "Now An Evangelical Christian" Cameron Bure and Jodie "Used To Be A Methhead" Sweetin. Don't hold out for Olsen involvement, but Dave "That Alanis Morrisette Song Was About Me" Coulier can definitely be got.

Imaginary TV Fights: Stamos vs. Stamos

Bryan Christian — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 21:30:00 GMT

We know, we know: it's Thursday again, and we're all bummed that ER is ending right when John Stamos got there! But when you get right down to it, is it really John Stamos? After filling the medical booties of both George Clooney and Goran Visnjic, is he really the lovable galoot we all knew and loved on Full House, or is he just another close cropped, sensitive swarther? We bet Uncle Jesse, with his brawny musician arms and whiplash smile could totally kick ER guy's ass. Hey...

Great idea! So here he is: Jake Kalish, author of Santa vs. Satan: The Official Compendium of Imaginary Fights, with the latest in our own series of imaginary fights. This week: Stamos vs. Stamos!

JESSE KATSOPOLIS OF FULL HOUSE	TONY GATES OF ER
Occupations: Lead Singer of Jesse and the Rippers / Exterminator / Advertising Executive / Radio Host / Nightclub Owner / Occasional Beach Boy	Occupations: Paramedic/ER Intern/ER Resident
Overshadowed by: Those precious Olsen twins	Overshadowed by: Those precious gunshot victims
Trademark Fighting Move: The cringe-inducing life lesson	Trademark Fighting Move: "Accidental" misdiagnosis

THE FIGHT

Fiery rebel Tony Gates is the favorite against softhearted rebel Uncle Jesse, but upon entering the ring, finds he himself helplessly drawn to Jesse's dynamic Grecian beauty. Jesse gazes back into the deep, masculine pools that are Tony's eyes, and, with a passion that shakes Mount Olympus... the two Stamoses become as one. Unfortunately, Tony is so overcome by eros that he forgets about the scalpel in his hand, and accidentally castrates Jesse.

WINNER: TONY GATES

JAKE KALISH is a freelance journalist and humorist whose work has appeared in Details, Maxim, Stuff, New York Press, Blender, Men’s Fitness, and Playboy, among other publications. He could totally kick your ass.

Santa vs. Satan: The Official Compendium of Imaginary Fights is published by Three Rivers Press

PREVIOUSLY:
Imaginary TV Fights: "Dexter" vs. Everybody From "C.S.I."
Imaginary TV Fights: Old "90210" vs. New "90210"
Imaginary TV Fights: Shatner vs. Shatner vs. Shatner

When Sitcoms Lead to Bigger, Better, Sexier Things

Ben Kallen — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 19:55:00 GMT

Ryan Reynolds, the buff movie actor who got his big break as the costar of Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place, married girlfriend Scarlett Johansson this weekend. Scarlett. Johansson.

The actor, now permanently known as "that lucky Canadian bastard," was previously engaged to singer Alanis Morissette. (No, she didn't write that one song about him -- it was probably about Full House Bullwinkle impersonator Dave Coulier. And the circle of sitcom life goes on.)

But what of the other Pizza cast? Traylor Howard has been playing the spunky assistant on Monk for years. Nathan Fillion became sort of a Joss Whedon muse, starring in Firefly and Dr. Horrible; he also was on Desperate Housewives last year, and is slated to play the lead in the upcoming ABC mystery drama Castle. As for the other Guy, Richard Ruccolo? Er, he had a small part in the short-lived sitcom Joey. We don't know what he's doing now, but we hope it doesn't involve an actual pizza place.

Previously:
Mr. Leno, Please Stop Drooling on Scarlett Johansson
Midseason Madness: ABC Picks Up Cupid Remake, Four Other Series

"You Can't Do That On Television" / "Out Of Control" Affair Ends Badly For '90's Radio

Bryan Christian — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 13:24:00 GMT

Once upon a time, Dave Coulier and Alanis Morrissette were relatively unknown Canadians who were catching their first big breaks in the States on that magical new contraption that was making Ted Turner rich: the cable. Specifically on Nickelodeon. Alanis was one of about a billion cast members on You Can't Do That On Television -- which, neophyte Nick fans, is where they got that whole "slime" thing -- and Dave was the host of Out of Control, a weird sort of proto-Pee-Wee's Playhouse except, you know, forgettable.

Cut to a few years later. It's the '90's, and everyone's wearing Neil Young and Starbucksing Twin Peaks. And Dave and Alanis -- who we have to assume met when Dave offered to sneak Alanis a beer at a Nick reunion party -- are finishing up a torrid affair. How did the unhappy couple mark the end of their time together? Well, we're pretty sure Dave went off and took a nap on a pile of thousand-dollar bills with the Olsen Twins printed on them.

And Alanis? Alanis wrote "You Oughtta Know." About Dave.

And one day, Dave heard it. And what'd he think?

"I said, 'Wow, this girl is angry.' And then I said, 'Oh man, I think it's Alanis,'" Coulier revealed. "I listened to the song over and over again, and I said, 'I think I have really hurt this person.'"

And he was right. And then he lied about it for 15 years. Until yesterday. Maybe a statute of limitations ran out or something?

The end.

Dave Coulier admits Alanis Morissette's 'You Oughta Know' is about him [NY Daily News]

How Rude! Bob Saget Roast Full of Olsen-Twin Sex Jokes

Ben Kallen — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 19:25:00 GMT

Anyone who's seen The Aristocrats knows that former Full House star and America's Funniest Home Videos host Bob Saget is hiding a dirty, dirty mind under that wholesome-seeming exterior. So it's no big surprise that Comedy Central's recent roast of the guy, which airs on Aug. 17, was as loaded with dirty jokes as the previous ones for celebrities such as William Shatner and Pam Anderson.

What he wasn't prepared for, apparently, were all the sex jokes about young Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, whom he's been protective of ever since they co-played his Full House daughter Michelle when they were infants. Even roastmaster John "Uncle Jesse" Stamos joined in on the molestation-gag action -- saying, "The whole time Bob and I were doing Full House, he was also hosting America's Funniest Home Videos. His entire job consisted of saying 'Take a look at this,' which is what he used to say to Mary-Kate in her dressing room." (Stamos later said that he thought some of the jokes had "crossed the line.")

Of course, the Olsens are all grown up now, and the gossip media probes their adult sex lives more often than Tommy Lee probed Pam. (Ba-dump-bump! Thank you very much.) Still, the constant stream of semi-incest/pedophilia jokes -- many of which will probably be cut from Comedy Central's broadcast of the roast -- just seemed kind of mean after a while, even when made about a pair of billionaires and a performer who spent years bringing us guy-getting-hit-in-the-groin videos.

Below, a sample of more molestation humor, this time from comedian Jeffrey Ross. At least Jodie "Stephanie" Sweetin seems to be enjoying herself.

Previously:
Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen on the Outs???

How I Met Your Mother Secrets Revealed (No, Not That One)

Former Full House Star/Meth Addict Is Currently Blogging (And Kind of Cute)

"The Secret Life of the American Teenager": The Weird Keeps On Coming

Lindy Parker — Tue, 05 Aug 2008 18:27:00 GMT

Just when we think The Secret Life of the American Teenager can’t get any weirder, Ben proposes to Amy over a picnic basket full of sausage. Here’s how it went down:

Ben: “Will you marry me?”
Amy: “You’re such a nice person, and I’m such a whore.”
Ben: “Well, you’re my whore.”

Part of us really wants to get on board with this show if only for the comical absurdity of it all, but it’s hard for us to take anything seriously when Ben looks so much like Bob Saget. He does, right? Just try picturing Bob Saget in high school, cloaked in his Full House wardrobe, with the same Danny Tanner “aww, shucks” timbre to his voice, and see if you can keep a straight face.

Mary-Kate And Ashley Olsen On The Outs???

Bryan Christian — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 19:56:00 GMT

When Full House's Michelle Tanner is at war with herself, it doesn't matter who wins: everyone loses!

Could the world's most profitable set of twins be no longer of one mind and one under-nourished body? The answer, according to Elle, is maybe.

“We don’t agree all the time. The way we go about business or designing or making a decision is that we come at it from two completely different angles that at the end of the day, even when we don’t think we’re agreeing with each other, we are agreeing. We’re just getting there in different ways. Unless you’re a twin, you honestly can’t know how close twins can be. There’s such a strength, but that also makes it…” Her voice trails off. “When there’s that much love there’s…” Again she stops. She gives me a wan smile. I attempt to help her explain: When twins grow up and go their separate ways, is it like an amicable divorce? “Well, there’s the opposite of everything, but it stems from love, and it stems from passion. We’re driven people. I do know I can’t work in an office. Ashley, on the other hand, loves going to an office.”

And "there's the opposite of everything" means...?

[via Defamer]

"How I Met Your Mother" Secrets Revealed. . . (No, Not That One)

Ben Kallen — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 12:30:00 GMT

Alan Sepinwall, TV critic and blogger for the Newark Star-Ledger, moderated a discussion with the cast and producers of "How I Met Your Mother" earlier this week. The talk turned out to be loaded with information for the show's fans, including those who comb every episode for clues to the identity of the "mother." (After all, it's the only worthwhile mystery left on TV now that "Lost" showed us who was in that damn casket.)

The discussion took place at McGee's in New York City, which inspired the bar where the surprisingly well-employed "HIMYM" gang gets soused every night. The only one missing was Jason Segel (who was undoubtedly off filming some billion-dollar-grossing Judd Apatow sex romp). Here are a few of the highlights:

-- There's no "master plan" binding all the carefully interconnected "HIMYM" plot lines together. But the producers do know what will happen in the final episode -- a date for which has not been set.

-- "Future Ted" is telling this entire story to his son and daughter over the course of a single day. And while all these scenes with the kids have already been filmed (to catch the young actors before they aged), eventually we'll hear some dialogue from them that could reveal the show's major secrets.

-- Stella (Sarah Chalke) may or may not be back next year -- which means she still may or may not be Ted's future wife.

-- Barney and Robin were never intended to become a couple. . . but the writers started contemplating the idea when they saw the characters' obvious chemistry with each other. Now that the two have slept together and Barney appears smitten, the producers assured everyone that Barney will remain a womanizing lech at heart, and Robin will remain Canadian.

-- The writers have contemplated giving Marshall and Lily kids, despite the fact that babies are acknowledged show-killers.

-- Neil Patrick Harris didn't mind doing the gag where Barney turns into Doogie Howser at the end of one episode. Referring to his child stardom, he said, "People always think they have to walk on eggshells about it, like I'm going to punch them in the face."

-- Josh ("Ted") Radnor said that former "Full House" star Bob Saget, who voices his future self, has often suggested they go out for drinks. . . but he's afraid he'll end up hearing dirty jokes about the Olsen twins.

You can read the rest here.

And, because we just know you want to see it one more time, here's the original Robin Sparkles video:

Photo: CBS

Former "Full House" Star/Meth Addict Is Currently Blogging (And Kind Of Cute)

Bryan Christian — Fri, 30 May 2008 16:12:00 GMT

OK Magazine decided she'd be a good example of a mother. We've never met the girl, so what do we know. We'd eat cookies if she made 'em.

[via Scanner]