The Remote Island : Katherine Heigl

Shades of Grey's Anatomy: Beautiful Day To Save Lives, And Yet Everything's Going To Hell

Lindy Parker — Fri, 15 May 2009 18:00:00 GMT

Season finale Friday, guys. Get psyched...

Lindy-High: Strange but true, we have two highs this week. First, Christina declaring her love to Owen over the air vents. Loved it. Second, Meredith discovering George was the unrecognizable John Doe bus guy. We can't believe we're saying this, but the second hour of this finale was actually a surprisingly good time for us -- sort of like Grey's of yore when Meredith and Christina Ricci had their hands on a bomb in an open body cavity, or when George delivered Bailey's baby. Mostly, our high was that the writing of this episode all made sense and kept our eye-rolling to a minimum. Welcome back to sort-of-awesome Shonda Rhimes.

Olivia-High: Alex Karev. Because homeboy spends most of his time as a snarky asshole, we love seeing him yell and cry. We love it. There's something about a manly man breaking down that does it for us. He makes us want Izzie to survive. Which is quite the feat. Job well done, Karev.

Lindy-Low: Dr. Bailey re-cycling the I-can't-move-forward-in-my-career-or-my-husband-will-divorce-me plotline. We've been here before, and we're over it. Apparently, Dr. Bailey is too because she's divorcing Tucker. Truthfully, we most enjoy Dr. Bailey when she's shepherding the interns-turned-residents along the rocky landscapes of their lives and careers. Let's get back to that, no?

Olivia-Low: Meredith could not be more annoying with this marriage shit. Although we will admit that the Meredith-Christina moment, the declaration of love between two friends, was almost too sweet for words, we really still want to smack her every time she speaks. We watch a show every week that makes us want to hit someone, hard. That's unhealthy.

Previously:

Shades of Grey's Anatomy: Like Rain on Your Wedding Day

Shades of Grey's Anatomy: Don't Tell Mama

Friday Shades Of "Grey's Anatomy": Death Doesn't Become Her

Friday Shades of Grey's Anatomy: Wake Me Up Before You Kill Me

Friday Shades of Grey's Anatomy: Sometimes You Just Need an Enema

Shades of "Grey's Anatomy": Like Rain on Your Wedding Day

Lindy Parker — Fri, 08 May 2009 17:00:00 GMT

It's Friday, and there's a wedding happening. Here's our highs and lows...

Lindy-High: The wedding switch. Yeah, we said it. We don't care what you say. When Izzie couldn't quite make it down the aisle, and suddenly George was there, with his "take my hand." Dude, we teared up. Just a little. And then Alex used the dead valedictorian's speech from the ER as his vows. Also, P.Demp pushing the boundaries of modern medicine yet again to pinpoint Izzie's hallucinations -- we were loving it. Then again, maybe we're just happy to say goodbye to Dr. Mcpouty, self-doubting, tequila-drinker.

Olivia-High: Gotta agree with Remote Lindy. We got all choked up during that damned wedding scene. And the wedding dress. It turned out well, no? One might argue that Katherine Heigl and Ellen Pompeo are not the same size, but we're willing to suspend our disbelief and pretend that Seattle Grace has a tailor on staff specifically for these kinds of alteration emergencies.

Lindy-Low: We're more than a little uncomfortable with Izzie's wedding obsession, but that's not really our low. No, for that we go to Arizona Robbins. OMG, Kate Capshaw. How we despise you. There are people arriving in the ER cut in half, and you're whining and distracting Callie from, you know, saving lives. And once again, why are we acting like Callie doesn't have a paycheck? Is she a pro bono surgeon? No, right? She doesn't have med school debt because, presumably, her father paid for it. She's out of debt and she's been getting a SURGEON'S paycheck for years. Granted, when you lose your trust fund, you probably adjust your lifestyle a bit, but we never got the impression that Callie was all prada bags and private jets anyway. And she lives in Seattle, not Tokoyo -- we're guessing she can still afford a hundred dollar dinner or two. Just saying.

Olivia-Low: For this low, we need to have a heart to heart moment with Dr. Owen Hunt.

Dear O,

Can we call you O? We thought so. Listen, O, we still like you. We still like you even though you tried to kill Christina in a PTSD-induced shit-fit. We appreciate the fact that you are going to therapy. You're trying to get better and make up for your wrong doing. Kudos to you. Hip-hip-hooray, buddy. That said, we do not appreciate you touching Christina, trying to hold her hand, approaching her in any way. PTSD or not, you tried to choke her out. If she wants to hold your throat-throttling hands, she'll let you know. For now, back off mister. We'll be watching.

Love,

Remote O

Previously:

Shades of Grey's Anatomy: Don't Tell Mama

Friday Shades Of "Grey's Anatomy": Death Doesn't Become Her

Friday Shades of Grey's Anatomy: Wake Me Up Before You Kill Me

Friday Shades of Grey's Anatomy: Sometimes You Just Need an Enema

Shades of "Grey's Anatomy": Don't Tell Mama

Lindy Parker — Fri, 01 May 2009 18:00:00 GMT

The countdown to the season finale is on, people. Here's this week's highs and lows...

Lindy-High: Not to sound overly macabre, but we kind enjoyed the way six year old girl who shot her father 17 times, sounded a bit like the spawn of Satan when she said, "Why my daddy don't die? I shot him a bunch of times" in a cold, dispassionate voice. We were creeped out, but in that sort of funny way. And anyway, we couldn't feel that moved by their situation because it seems implausible at best that a six year old could get 17 shots off without someone stopping her.

Olivia-High: Sharon Lawrence guest-stars as Izzie's mother this week. She plays overbearing trailer park mama like it's her job. And she kind of blew Katherine Heigl off the screen. Truly, Sharon was everything that we wish Izzie could be on a weekly basis: Idealistic, a bit narcissistic, sweet, funny, teary, and a scosh trashy. For our taste, she could have trashed it up even more. What? We like our ladies rough around the edges.

Lindy-Low: Meredith screaming at a battered wife in the emergency room. Really, it's getting to the point where we have to fast forward through all of Meredith's scenes. Lots of people have difficult lives, Mer. Get your shit together. On an unrelated note, is it realistic that a highly-respected bone surgeon wouldn't get paid enough to afford her Seattle rent without a trust fund? We're not really buying this Callie Torres plotline.

Olivia-Low: Dr. Hunt pours some random, granular substance into his patient's open wounds to stop the bleeding. Hooray for Dr. Hunt (and the patient) that his little sack of sugar worked. But, did anyone else notice that the shit he put into the patients gaping torso is not "FDA approved?" Hunt just throws some random war contraband into a patient. Is that okay? Are we okay with that? And why is that powder in his truck in a green duffel bag? Does he feel as though he might need wound-glue at the gym?

Previously:

Friday Shades Of "Grey's Anatomy": Death Doesn't Become Her

Friday Shades of Grey's Anatomy: Wake Me Up Before You Kill Me

Friday Shades of Grey's Anatomy: Sometimes You Just Need an Enema

Friday Shades of Grey's Anatomy: Surgeons of Tomorrow

Shades of "Grey's Anatomy": Death Doesn't Become Her

Lindy Parker — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 22:39:00 GMT

Grey's is back, y'all. And we have some thoughts...

Lindy-Low: Meredith using the word "cancer-y" repeatedly to describe Izzie's body parts. Also, we're conflicted about Dr. Bailey's pediatrics fellowship -- obviously, the scene of her rocking a dying child could've enticed Jack Palance to shed a tear, but we have a hard time letting go of Miranda as the unofficial Chief of Surgery that holds everything together.

Olivia-Low: Izzie crying wolf nearly sent us into an actual coniption fit in front of the television. Literally twice "cancer-y" Iz pretends to slip into the hereafter so that Meredith will play bridal barbie with her. Then she giggles. Giggles! We thought the threat of death would make us like her more. It doesn't.

Lindy: High: Callie's Spanish ranting, the return of the Mark Sloan/Callie Torres BFFship, and Hector Elizondo (on whom we have a May-December crush). Also, at one point when that father was holding his child during her last seconds of life, we turned to our boyfriend and said, "The Mighty Ducks guy is really bringing it home for us."

Olivia-High: Meredith in those hideous wedding dresses. Obvi, we can't stand Meredith, and tend to curse under our breath every time she's on screen whinning her Meredith whine. But the sight of her whiny grimacing face atop pounds upon pounds of beaded white lace and chiffon made us smile. In other news (yes, we have two highs!), the George O'Malley/Alex Karev dynamic is kind of fun, no? They hate each other, but they're growing to respect one another, and in the face of Izzie's slow bridal march to death (fingers crossed!) they need each other. Although we categorically abhor the phrase bro-mance and any derivations thereof, we can't wait for these two to get bromantical.

Previously:

Friday Shades of Grey's Anatomy: Wake Me Up Before You Kill Me

Friday Shades of Grey's Anatomy: Sometimes You Just Need an Enema

Friday Shades of Grey's Anatomy: Surgeons of Tomorrow

Friday Shades of Grey's Anatomy: The School of Hard Knocks

Katherine Heigl Wants "Grey's Anatomy" If "Grey's Anatomy" Wants Her

Jake Kalish — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 14:33:00 GMT

You know all that stuff about Katherine Heigl leaving Grey's Anatomy? Well, she wants to make it perfectly clear none of that is her idea...

Attending a studio party to mark the ABC medical drama's 100th episode, Heigl said it's premature to think her days as Dr. Izzie Stevens are numbered.

"I was assuming that at one point and I got a lot of shrugged shoulders and shakes of the head, so I don't know if that's a yes or a no. No one will tell me and I don't know how this is going to go," Heigl said, noting series creator Shonda Rhimes' passion for plot secrecy.

"I don't know if I live or die. I don't know how Izzie fares," said the actress, who's played the character since the show debuted in 2005.

"I'm there" if Izzie remains part of "Grey's Anatomy," Heigl said. She called the set "one of my favorite places to be" and said her colleagues are also friends.

Stage IV metastatic cancer is a real bitch, huh? So, yeah, all that Heigl hullaballoo about not doing enough, and the whole movie star thing? Seriously, never mind all that. She didn't mean she wanted to die. Hey, it's a bad economy, keep your job if you can, Katherine Heigl.

PREVIOUSLY:

Friday Shades Of "Grey's Anatomy": Wake Me Up Before You Kill Me

Friday Shades Of "Grey's Anatomy": Sometimes You Just Need An Enema

"Grey's Anatomy" SPOILERS: It's Happening

Katherine Heigl And T.R. Knight Are Not Leaving, Says "Grey's Anatomy" Creator

"Grey's Anatomy" Creator Speaks Out About Offing Izzie

Today In Hot: Katherine Heigl Dresses Like A Barefoot Marilyn Monroe And Eats A Big Mac

Friday Shades of "Grey's Anatomy": Sometimes You Just Need An Enema

Lindy Parker — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 19:30:00 GMT

Seriously, thank God it's Friday, y'all. Time for some highs and lows...

Lindy-High: We have three this week (Right? We can hardly believe it either). First, Meredith and George sorting through the new intern drama in a semi-amusing meta-narrative jab at the first two seasons. The best line of the episode for us was when Meredith told the interns off, and stormed out with George on her heels muttering, "That was very Bailey." Ha. We enjoyed that. Second, first Callie and then Dr. Hunt getting sucked into Derek's vortex of despair, drinking canned beers out of a cooler. Finally, the tender moment between the elderly orchid lady and the guy a hole in his face: "Please, don't call my dear friend ugly. You're a survivor." OMG, we teared up a little bit.

Olivia-High: Christina’s on-going quest to be the best character on this show. Her subtle crisis of conscience over what to do about Izzie’s brain cancer sitch was well-written and delivered. Were whiny Meredith in the same position, she would have slobbered and blubbered all over the situation, but good old Christina sucked it up and did what she had to do, all the while spouting hilariously perfect lines of sensible dialogue. Now if she and Hunt could just have at least a scene or two together, that power couple could take over this damn show.

And, Callie’s leather jacket. Really. It was great. It fit perfectly.

Lindy-Low: This scene...

We feel irritated. We do. We've grown to despise Izzie for so many reasons, but Christina's willingness to get on board and join the fight for Izzie's life has us rooting for her recovery in spite of ourselves. Sigh. We'll never be free of Izzie.

Olivia-Low: Little Lexopedia Grey openly macking on Dr. Gorgeous Sloan in the middle of the hospital (tongue fully lodged on the man’s tonsils) and then spewing some annoying “they think we’re ugly but I know we are beautiful,” crap. What? When did Seattle Grace become a Kelly Clarkson song? When???

Previously:

Friday Shades of Grey's Anatomy: Surgeons of Tomorrow

Friday Shades of Grey's Anatomy: The School of Hard Knocks

Friday Shades of Grey's Anatomy: God In a Box

Friday Shades of Grey's Anatomy: Hug Me Like a Cow

Friday Shades of "Grey's Anatomy": Surgeons of Tomorrow

Lindy Parker — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 17:00:00 GMT

So, Grey's is back. Think last night's episode was worth the wait? We have thoughts...

Lindy-High: The group analysis of P.Demp's Lucky Charms munching and generally foul state ("Sylvia Plath's eating all the marshmallows"). Also, Derek fungo-ing Meredith's engagement ring into the unknown. We're not sure why since Derek's general tantrum-throwing kind of made us want to die, but we like seeing Derek stick it to Meredith whenever we can. We still like Christina and Dr. Hunt, although we feel like their brief cameo-like appearances aren't enough to sink our teeth into.

Olivia-High: Alex Karev! Karev wins! He saves a little girl’s life and then calls her a band geek. Perfection. He’s so giddy about being called the “future of Seattle Grace” that he tells Izzie to get her act together so they can be the future together. We often want to tell Izzie to get her act together. Even though she’s dying.

Lindy-Low: Izzie's House-esque master class with the interns to determine her own illness. Question -- how many minutes of our lives did we lose this week watching the camera swing in a wide arc around Izzie staring off into space while the "something meaningful is happening" music plays. A dirge would've been more appropriate and funnier. You'd think since today's Friday the 13th more people would've died. Also, for God's sake, either fire T.R. Knight or give George more to do. The two times George was actually speaking were among the bright spots of last night's episode.

Olivia-Low: The chief of surgery throws foot-stomping eyebrow heaving temper tantrum in the operating room, in the middle of a surgery, over an open body cavity. For real? You’re really gonna pitch a fit over some body’s gaping torso? Gross and wrong, chief. Then, then, in response, Miranda Bailey tells him the hospital is falling apart because he needs to get in touch with his feminine side. Dear Miranda delivers this sage advice in a sassy rhythmic spoken word “now you listen here” rant. It’s awful. Like Lifetime television for preachy women meets a Terry McMillan novel. Awful.

Previously:

Friday Shades of Grey's Anatomy: The School of Hard Knocks

Friday Shades of Grey's Anatomy: God In a Box

Friday Shades of Grey's Anatomy: Hug Me Like a Cow

"Grey's Anatomy" SPOILERS: It's Happening

Lindy Parker — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 22:45:00 GMT

What's happening, you ask? Good question...

According to TV Guide Canada, Justin Chambers (who plays Izzie's boyfriend and fellow doctor Alex Karev) said, "Izzie has cancer, so I'm there to support her...I would expect Alex to shut down a little bit if something awful happens to Izzie, but these are opportunities to see his chivalrous side and his true love for her, so there should be some interesting stuff coming up." (E! Online)

First of all, this isn't really news is it? Is there anyone out there who believed Shonda Rhimes when she vowed that Izzie didn't have a brain tumor? We assume she'll get around her blatant lies (ABC is a network of liars!) by moving Izzie's cancer to another region of her body -- ideally one that concerns a Seattle Grace surgeon's non-neuro specialty. Then again, maybe Justin Chambers is just speaking out of turn like Chief Jim Pickens or Greg Grunberg, and we can expect a full renegue of his statements tomorrow. We won't hold our breath.

Sidenote: When did TV Guide Canada become so in the know?

Previously:

Grey's Anatomy Creator Speaks Out About Offing Izzie

ABC President Defends Grey's Anatomy Ghost Sex

Katherine Heigl and T.R. Knight Are Not Leaving, Says "Grey's Anatomy" Creator

Jake Kalish — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 20:03:00 GMT

Not to make you feel like you're studying for the SATs or anything, but key in this sentence is the ambiguous use of the word "and" - meaning, as many have speculated, that one of the two may leave, but not both. Most likely it's Heigl who's gone, if anyone is - Knight is reportedly happier with Grey's now that his character has more to do. Here's what Shonda Rhimes had to say about what James Pickens' quote, which resulted in everyone going apeshit:

When Rhimes was asked to discuss the double departure, she told the press at Thursday's NAACP Image Awards, "That was a very interesting rumor. And it's not true."

Rimes went on to say that Pickens' well-wishes to his colleagues were "taken out of context." She added, "You know I don't like to tell you what's going to happen on the show, but that is a rumor."

The hulaballo has Pickens backtracking as quick as he can:

We've been living with these rumors for a long time. When the question was posed to me, I was more trying to congratulate Katie and T.R. on whatever they were going to do. But yeah, I don't have any special info about it either way.

PREVIOUSLY:

"Grey's Anatomy": Are Katherine Heigl And T.R. Knight's Exits A Publicity Ploy?

The Chief Has Spoken: T.R. Knight And Katherine Heigl Are Done With "Grey's"

"Grey's Anatomy": Are Katherine Heigl And T.R. Knight's Exits a Publicity Ploy?

Jake Kalish — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 17:12:00 GMT

Verrrrry interesting speculation from Scott Collins of the LA Times that this whole talk of Heigl and Knight leaving Grey's may just be a way for the show to boost its flagging ratings...

...it may seem like old-school skepticism but we'll ask anyway: Not that he's necessarily wrong, but how does Pickens know for sure that either one of his costars is leaving? Actors are not always the most reliable sources of dish on upcoming scripts, let alone information about what's happening off the set. For the record, network and studio sources have declined comment on the Heigl/Knight issue, as have PR reps for the two actors.

But that leads the second point: Why should anyone comment and ruin all this great suspense? Now in its fifth season, "Grey's" needs all the help it can get. Back in the day - that would be the 2006-07 season, to be precise, when it averaged a record 19.9 viewers - it was ABC's top-rated scripted show and bona fide sensation.

That all seems like a very, very long time ago. Fans have complained bitterly about this season's storylines - particularly the remergence of "Dead Denny," a deceased former love interest of Heigl's character surgical resident Izzie Stevens - and the show is slogging through its worst-ever ratings, averaging 15.1 million viewers. A current arc of interlocking episodes with the "Grey's" spin-off "Private Practice" seems to be boosting the latter show without doing anything to help the former.

So by keeping the Heigl/Knight drama alive, Pickens may have just been doing what he could to help out the home team.

PREVIOUSLY:

The Chief Has Spoken: T.R. Knight And Katherine Heigl Are Done With "Grey's"

ABC President Defends “Grey’s Anatomy” Ghost Sex

Olivia Purnell — Mon, 19 Jan 2009 19:46:00 GMT

ABC entertainment president Steve McPherson spoke out about Grey’s Anatomy’s controversial love affair between Dr. Izzie Stevens and her dead fiancé Denny, an affair that we have been speaking out about for months. Turns out our anti-ghost-lovin’ stance is the exact opposite of Mr. McPherson’s pro-Denny position.

To sum up the ABC prez’s view –

The Denny-Izzie storyline ain’t so bad. He says:

“I actually think when you get to the end of the season and you see everything she had in mind, it might not be your cup of tea, but I think you'll be surprised at how insightful and smart that storyline itself is in terms of the dynamics it's creating for the characters involved and where we end up with those characters at the end” (ew.com).

Oh, oh, and also “[Denny] is not a ghost, which you will learn.”

Okay, touché Mr. McPrez, Denny is not a ghost. But is he real? Is Denny a live human being? No? Then it’s still creepy. And it’s even creepier that Izzie’s little doctor friends and colleagues let her walk around a hospital talking to herself for weeks on end whilst, whilst being entrusted with people’s lives.

It’s creepiest that her roommate doctor friends have let her have loud yelly sex with her dead boyfriend thinking that she’s just a loud yelly masturbator. That’s creepy. Don’t yell while you’re going solo (but not solo since your dead BF is apparently there for the assist). Don’t moan and call dead Denny’s name while your roommates are home. Creepy.

Also, Izzie is annoying. Can we fix that somehow? And Meredith too. Annoying.

Wow, we really got worked up there. Maybe we’ll go soothe ourselves. But quietly, and without a dead fiancé.

Friday Shades of "Grey's Anatomy": Mama Said Knock You Out

Lindy Parker — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 16:00:00 GMT

Hey, it's Friday! It may be twelve degrees outside, but we can warm up with some high's and low's...

Olivia-High: Meredith’s hair. The ponytail she uses to try to impress Derek’s mother. Did you see it? Did. You. See. It? Derek actually says, “That is an alarmingly high ponytail.” And it is. It is a frighteningly high ponytail. There are three reasons we’re so excited about this. One: Show writers constructed this humorous little hair gag and it worked! It was funny. Two: Derek said something to Meredith that didn’t want to make us vom. Awesome. Also the hair gave Christina a chance to tell Meredith some truth. C says, “That ponytail looks ridiculous.” And it does. It really and truly does

Lindy-High: Izzie coaching Meredith through meeting Derek's mother with techniques that include smile lessons, a scrunchie (a scrunchie!), and this:

Izzie: "I stashed all the tequila, took the condoms out of the cookie jar, and replaced all your trashy magazines with back issues of The Annals of Surgery. Okay? Does it smell musty in here?"
George: "My mom's house smells like peppermint. It's so homey!"
Meredith: "My house isn't homey?"
Denny: "I feel at home."
Alex: "I was raised in a hellhole, this place is a palace."
Meredith: "Why isn't my house homey, George?"
Alex: "Rebecca peed on that couch cushion."
Meredith: "Thank you Alex, you're a good friend."
Alex: "You're welcome, keep drinking."

Also, inexplicably Izzie's hair looks AWESOME this episode. Let's just stop for a second and take in the fact that both Meredith and Izzie are the stars of this week's high. Let's check the windows to make sure we don't see armageddon headed this way.

Olivia-Low: Lexopedia with Dr. Mark Sloan. Why is she all wide-eyed and stuttery all the time? Just spit it out girl! Lex chatting with Derek’s mother? It was like watching Bambi get mowed down by a 747. She’s irritating. Also, when will this Meredith/Christina fight end? We need more of Christina. Callie is doing her best to single-handedly keep the Grey’s witty repartee ship afloat. She can’t go it alone. Bring Christina and Meredith back, so C can tell M all about herself over and over again.

Lindy-Low: We have two this week. First, Eric Stoltz bashing his bandaged exposed brain against the wall to induce swelling and attempt suicide. Yes, we know it was for noble reasons, but seriously, watching it was yikes. We had to bury our head in our hands and make shrill exclamations until our boyfriend came in looking alarmed. Second, we totally agree with Olivia, we might find it easier to get behind the whole Lexi-Mark Sloan thing if we didn't find Lexi so mind-numbingly irritating -- although, in fairness, the fact that she took Derek's mom's questions about her number of sexual partners made us like her a little more. Maybe all is not lost.

Friday Shades of "Grey's Anatomy": I Could Kill You

Lindy Parker — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 17:00:00 GMT

It's Friday, y'all, and it's 2009 -- Time for resolutions? How about some high's and low's...

Lindy Low -- Is it weird that we can't actually remember what Meredith and Christina are fighting about? Something about Lexipedia's underground surgery club? Christina picking Alex for the solo surgery? Whatever it was, we're over the sulky, poutiness of it all. People are dying, girls, literally in your arms -- let's move past it. Also, Alex taking a trip downtown with Izzie in an empty OR while Denny watches gives us that "ick" feeling.

Olivia Low -- Alex is a winner, but he’s a little dumb sometimes no? Did he not hear his girlfriend say she sees her dead fiancé constantly . . . and also they bang on the regular. Izzie and Denny have apparitional intercourse. Now, if someone said that to you, would you be all: “Cool, let’s go have a sandwich, I’m thinking cheese doodles as a side item?” Would you? No. You’d grab a pair of plastic cuffs and chain her ass to the radiator until the padded van arrived to take crazy Izzie away. That’s what we’d like from Alex. Especially because he’s got experience with crazy. Remember Rebecca? Remember the hysterical pregnancy? Alex: Fool you once, shame on Becky’s fake baby. Fool you twice, and you’re in a threesome with Katherine Heigl and a dead guy. Think about it.

Lindy High -- Izzie: I see Denny and we have sex. Alex: Well, I'd rather you fantasize about me or chicks. Ha. We love Alex so much. Also, this -- Sloan: What are the steps? Callie: Don't get naked with interns...it's more of a one step program. Sloan: I'd better write this down. Alex, Mark Sloan, Callie Torres and the patients are really the only reasons we still like watching this show. Everything else -- Christina and Meredith pouting, Derek riding his moral high horse, Lexi doing that perpetual blinking-in-the-sunlight face, Chief Jim Pickens and his constant self-esteem crisis -- has us rolling our eyes so much that we're getting a headache.

Olivia High -- Eric Stoltz, man. He’s good. He’s a great sociopath: mild mannered, pleasant, normal, but likes slitting throats. I kind of enjoy this death row patient role they’ve got him playing. Who doesn’t like a doctor show that features a shank to the vertebrae and prison guards? This case should bring up issues of humane treatment, the death penalty, morality . . . but instead it’s yet another excuse for Meredith to whine like a third grader who didn’t get a pudding pop for her after school snack. “Shut up, girl. Just shut it up. Pop Tarts are just as good.” We actually say that when she comes on the screen. Our roommate would like us to stop. But we can’t. Meredith is that irritating.

"Grey's Anatomy" Spoiler: Necrophilia Justified (Sort Of)

Lindy Parker — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 19:00:00 GMT

Turns out there might be reason for all this crazy between Izzie and the undead Denny, but don't keep reading if you don't want to know...

Here's the deal:

According to multiple sources, Izzie's hallucinations are health-related -- and brain-related. And although the specific name of the ailment is being kept in the safe underneath Rhimes' desk, I'm told it's similar to an aneurysm. And every time it flares up, she sees Denny. And sometimes when it really flares up, she shags him. -- Entertainment Weekly

If we're being honest, we've got to say that Izzie having some sort of brain disorder that's inducing the Denny halucinations kind of does make us feel better. How macabre of us.

Friday Shades of "Grey's Anatomy": Is It Necrophilia If He Used To Be Your Fiancé?

Lindy Parker — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 17:00:00 GMT

It's the Friday before Thanksgiving, y'all -- We've got a couple of things we're thankful for, and a couple things we could do without...

Olivia-Low: We knew this one was coming, and it’s just as awful as we thought it might be: Crazy Izzie and her dead sidekick, the tall attractive ghost-guy. You know, Deceased Denny, the apparition she has sex with. Let’s review the facts: Sex. Deceased. Ghost. Izzie. And Denny (again, dead Denny) watches Izzie slip into Alex’s room (her real live boyfriend’s room) and says, “It’s okay. I’ll be right here.” What? So now we’re caught in a living-dead love triangle? Should we call it necro-polyamory? Ew. Really, all we have to say is: Hell-to-the-naw, Shonda Rhimes. Girl, we want to trust you, but you’re taking things too far. Turn this crazy train around or we’re going to have to jump off.

Lindy-Low: Lexipedia's weird backroom surgery club appendix fiasco. Please. First of all, we know we've said it before, but Sadie creeps us out. Granted, it makes sense that someone as action-packed with issues as Meredith would have a friend that's equally trainwreck-y, but it's just no fun for us. Also, we almost have a physical reaction to Sadie repeatedly calling Meredith "Death" in a professional context. If the sun should rise on a day that we become BFF with the President of the United States, we're not going to use our macabre BFF nicknames in front of the joint chiefs -- it's just common sense. Also, we second everything Olivia said about Denny/Izzie. Nobody loved Denny more than us (JDM, you are HOT), but this is starting to ruin it for us, and we feel betrayed. We can't even speak about it. We agree with Dr. Hunt: sometimes words fail.

Olivia-High: Callie gets some drugs. Listen, it’s been a hard couple of months for homegirl. Callie tells Sloan she’s been “married, betrayed, gay, abandoned, and I have no idea how I got here.” She needs a break. Unforch she gets one in the form of a broken nose. But the new and improved extra-sensitive Dr. Sloan dopes her up real good and at least she’ll get some rest. Hooray for sedatives! Also, how is it that Sara Ramirez still looks stunning in that nose splint thing? How? If we wore a nose splint we’d look like Muhammad Ali after a bad day in the ring. Okay, maybe Layla Ali after a real bad beat down, but still. In other love news, we love Dr Hunt acting like Christina’s redheaded army puppy. How cute is he: Sitting on her doorstep, waiting for her to get off work, then shyly confessing, “I think you’re beautiful.” Adorable. Admittedly, he’s got a little stalker in him, but still adorable.

Lindy-High: We have a few in quick succession: First, Christina finally telling Meredith where to get off her moral high horse. Thank you god, and Christina. We wish we could deliver that exact speech to the Merediths in our world, every day of our lives. Second, Alex getting all macho-protector on that intern who made a crack about Izzie. Izzie may be be taking a stroll through crazytown, but at least we have Alex to light our way through the darkness. Finally, we don't want to jinx it, but we feel like Derek might possibly be on his way out of pouty-ville. Bringing Lexi home and making up a bed for her? That's the Derek we know and want around.

"Grey's Anatomy" Creator Speaks Out About Offing Izzie

Lindy Parker — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 21:00:00 GMT

Hey, remember back in July when Remote Ben gave us the dish on the trouble brewing between Katherine Heigl and GA creator Shonda Rhimes over Izzie's dwindling screen time? Well, it seems that rumor is still alive and well getting people all hot and bothered, and the recent weirdness with a post-mortem Denny is adding more fuel to the fire. Are Katherine Heigl's days numbered on Grey's Anatomy?

Shonda Rhimes decided it's high time to set the record straight...

"I think the love triangle with Denny, Izzie, and Alex is among the most interesting we've ever done. Watching the chemistry between Jeffrey and Katherine again has been really touching. I can't wait for our viewers to see where we're taking it. But what it won't involve is Izzie having a brain tumor." -- Entertainment Weekly

Hmmmm. Guess Izzie will be with us for a while after all. Maybe Alex should fall in love with Denny too and make it a real love triangle. That would be good TV.

Today In Hot: Katherine Heigl Dresses Like A Barefoot Marilyn Monroe And Eats A Big Mac

Jake Kalish — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 16:29:00 GMT

There's something so excellent about this. Heigl doesn't always dress like Marilyn -- she was glammed up for her 30th birthday party, which was held at her mom's house. Playing dress up, party at mom's place, McDonald's -- what is she, 9? Doesn't matter, there's something hot about a beautiful woman who has to take off her shoes to stuff two all-beef patties in her face. Look at another shot:

Great, right? Happy birthday to everyone!

-- Jake Kalish is the author of Santa vs. Satan: The Official Compendium of Imaginary Fights

Friday Shades of "Grey's Anatomy": There's Some Stuff Happening and We Have Thoughts

Lindy Parker — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 16:30:00 GMT

Who doesn't love a Friday? Puts us right in the mood for some high's and low's...

Lindy-High: "Meredith's name's not 'Death' it's Mer." Christina and Derek commiserating about getting kicked out of the bed by Meredith's long lost Sienna Miller-esque BFF. This is how we want Derek and Christina -- allies united against a common enemy -- not sniping at each other, plaguing us with Derek's passive aggressive attempts on their friendship. And anyway, we're with them -- "Death" is like the worst nickname ever. Sure, we get it, "mere-DEATH" and "sa-DIE," but still, lame. A couple of final thoughts: 1) Dr. Hunt and Christina are fixing to become the absolute best part of this show. They're right on the verge, y'all, and 2) How amazing did Callie's hair look in this episode?

Olivia-High: Dr. Mark Sloan. Oh, the evolution of Dr. Sloan. In the wake of the ambiguous disappearance of Erica Hahn, Callie is kind of a mess, and Sloan (who apparently has been attending Assholes Anonymous meetings, and working the steps) is perfect with her. When did this transformation from apathetic man-whore to shining beacon of comfort and light occur? We’re glad it happened but sad we missed the butterfly emerging from his womanizing cocoon. He has become, dare we say it, a good guy. In addition to comforting Callie, he’s also sweet with Little Grey aka Lexopedia. Admittedly we share Meredith’s fear that he won’t be able to keep his penis away from little Lexie, but still.

Olivia-Low: Got a couple this week, kids. So strap in, it was a bumpy episode and we’re cranky because we miss Erica Hahn. Here we go: We just don’t like Meredith’s friend Sadie. First of all she’s bouncy-bubbly-giggly-girly friends with Meredith. Ew, yuck, puke. Then, Sadie ups the ante in the creepy underground intern self-mutilation/surgical practice stitch ring happening in the basement by slicing her own back open with a scalpel. Girl no, that’s not cute. Speaking of dangerous, can we talk about Dr. Hunt? What was the deal with that weird physical confrontation/make out between Hunt and Christina? One minute she’s flinching and backing away from him in a darkened corridor, the next minute he’s got his tongue down her throat. We know he’s got some PTSD happening, but she actually seemed scared and he actually seemed crazy. Again, not cute. Speaking of crazy and not cute . . . don’t even get us started on Denny and Izzie.

Lindy-Low: Grey's Anatomy has left the realm of hard-hitting medical drama and suddenly become Passions. Apparently, Denny's back, so you know, it's partly awesome, but on the other hand, he's a ghost (kind of a snarky one) haunting the hospital, which makes us feel a little weird about the whole thing. It gets weirder because he's not so much a regular ghost -- not like that time that Meredith died and Denny showed up to offer a compassionate and poignant pep talk about not giving up on life -- this time he's hanging around surgeries making witty asides, we're pretty sure he smirked more than once, there was definitely a lip curl in there, and is it us or has Denny been working out in the afterlife? The whole thing is bizarre, and made worse by the fact that Denny seems to be back to stay at least for a bit. Our theory is that the GA creators realized Izzie was only likeable during the Denny episodes. This attempt to reunite them isn't exactly bringing back the magic for us.

"Grey's Anatomy's" Katherine Heigl to Adopt?

Lindy Parker — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 20:20:00 GMT

Apparently, word is out that Katherine Heigl and musician husband Josh Kelley are planning to adopt, and really, we couldn't be happier for them. The problem is we keep picturing what it would be like if Izzie adopted a child -- she would totally be one of those people that only wants to talk about her kids. Also, she's a surgeon. Every episode would be Izzie wanting to have a) heart-to-heart's and/or b) all out breakdowns about how little she gets to see this precious miracle that's come into her life (can't you picture her using language like that, because we totally can).

Regardless, congrats Katherine and Josh, really, from us to you.

Here's Katherine's take:

"Grey's Anatomy" Marriage???

Olivia Purnell — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 20:20:00 GMT

Remember when Grey’s Anatomy was huge? We still like the show (mostly). We definitely still watch the show. But back in the day, it was a phenomenon. Dr. Mc-this, Dr. Mc-that, all that “Seriously!?!” talk, VaJayJays, etcetera. They put an actual word in the actual dictionary (we prefer the term Vajine. It’s prettier, and somehow more . . . French, but that’s neither here nor there).

Back in the day, Shonda Rhimes had to keep everything and everybody on lockdown so that no plot secrets were leaked to the twitterpatted public. Scripts were delivered in envelopes that would self-destruct, 007-style after being read and memorized by nervous and sweating cast members (or so we imagine). They were on Oprah for gosh sakes.

But now, Shonda and Dr. McDreamy Dempsey are just giving away company secrets.

Here’s the latest:

"Rumor has it something might be happening," added Dempsey coyly. "I think they have to. It's time for them to get together!"

[ . . . ]

"My goal is to get Meredith and Derek together for good, and let them try to figure out what it is to be in a relationship in the future," Shonda Rhimes told EW.com. (Usmagazine.com)

Shouldn’t that kind of information be kept on the hush? Or is the crew simply stirring gossip anyway they know how. Listen, if you need some press, kids, get another scandal going. Oprah’s probably not going to take you back til you’ve got something to talk about. You need an affair between two cast members. Or a fight. We found all that weird homophobic bullshit kind of horrific, but we would take a good catfight. Katherine Heigl and Sandra Oh, perhaps? You two ladies seem ready to rumble. How bout it girls, take one for the team?

Wake Up And Smile: It's Not Infidelity, It's H-B-Oh-Fuck-Off

Bryan Christian — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 13:34:00 GMT

-- Anyone else completely annoyed by the new HBO commercial? For those of you who didn't catch it, basically it went something like this: "Normal stories are about sex; HBO stories are about cheating!" Ha ha ha, fuckyou-B-O.

-- ABC's National Stay At Home Week, buoyed by the performance of Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy, beats CBS's Count Your Pills Week and all other comers for the fourth year in a row.

-- Sounds like Stephen Colbert's campaign for POTUS in the Marvel Universe wasn't going so well -- until a certain webslinging advisor told him to keep his hopes up. (No, not James Carville.)

-- Sports Night was 10 years ago? Yeesh. If Obama wins, does that mean that Aaron Sorkin will be due for another good idea?

-- Spike's list of the 15 hottest girls on TV doesn't include Mary-Louise Parker, Leighton Meester, Lena Headey, or either of the cuties from NBC's non-Heroes shows (Chuck's Yvonne Strahovski and Life's Sarah Shahi) -- but it's still a pretty darn good list.

-- Wouldn't wanna be Katherine Heigl's lungs.

-- Only 54 million people watched the debate last Friday. And most of them just thought they were watching a particularly bad episode of SNL.

-- NBC declares victory against piracy. Next up: barbarians!

Wake Up And Smile: We Mention Sarah Palin's Tits, You Decide

Bryan Christian — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 13:25:00 GMT

-- In only the latest in an increasingly long list of instances where rightwingers demonstrate their complete inability to discuss sexism without revealing they actually know nothing about the subject, a female Bloomberg reporter on FOX & Friends said that the desire to vote for a pro-choice candidate might connect female voters to each other more than having "tits" would connect them to Sarah Palin. Which, you know, might be true -- but in the interest of a well-informed electorate, we invite Mrs. Palin to make her case. [via Videogum]

-- Bravo to Yahoo! News, who managed to get every Izzie-loving Grey's Anatomy fan on the web to click on their story "Is Katherine Heigl Finally Quitting?!" when it's not about Heigl's longstanding feud with the Grey's writers at all; it's about her quitting heroin "the lifestyle" smoking.

-- Things are looking up for the CW. Gossip Girl did great on Monday, 90210 held its own on Tuesday, and last night's Smallville and Supernatural premieres had a 50 share in our apartment last night! (The Missus was on the web.)

-- Speaking of 90210, people please stop asking Luke Perry if he's gonna make an appearance on the series reboot. You want him to ask you to walk around in your prom dress?

-- Rachel Maddow may be MSNBC's new breakout star. Just two weeks into her new nighttime show, her ratings are better thanboth networkmate Keith Olbermann's and Larry King's over on CNN. We caught it last night and it wasn't bad - certainly it was better than Hardball -- but we couldn't help but wonder when Chuck D would chime in with something weird. (Guess we haven't heard her in a while.)

-- Party of Five's Scott Wolf, last seen on ABC's failed serial hostage drama The Nine, will appear on the 100th episode of CSI:NY, as will onetime '90's It Girl Julia Ormond. We're pretty sure that Wolf, in his role as the possible target of a serial killer, will do a little of Bailey-style whimpering; no word if Ormond, in her role as investiagator, will be using her sense of snow.

One More Way To Kill Off Izzie (This Time, Maybe, for Real)

Ben Kallen — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 20:24:00 GMT

Earlier this week, we helpfully suggested 10 ways in which Grey's Anatomy could kill off troublesome actress Katherine Heigl's character Dr. Isobel Stevens. The beautiful star of Knocked Up and 27 Dresses annoyed the show's staff by withdrawing from Emmy consideration last month, later saying she hadn't been given the "material" to warrant a nomination. And while the show's producers denied it, there were whispers that Izzie's end might soon be near.

Of course, we were kind of joking about the whole thing. But now there's word that creator Shonda Rhimes may have actually decided on a method of (possibly) getting rid of the perky underwear model-turned-surgeon. And it's... a brain tumor. (We know -- that's nowhere near as funny as our suggestions.)

According to US Weekly, the show may write the illness into next season's plot line, leaving it up in the air whether or not Izzie survives. "Shonda and the writers are pissed at her,” the source tells US. “It’s their way of screwing with her. She won’t know whether she’s going to live or die.”

Best of all, this will allow the show to bring back actor Jeffrey Dean Morgan in the role of Denny Duquette, the heart patient Izzie fell for -- and whose demise she may have hastened in an attempt to move him up on the transplant list, making her the worst doctor in the world. Izzie will interact with Denny in tumor-induced visions, kind of the same way the guy on Eli Stone keeps running into George Michael. The magazine says that ABC has confirmed that Morgan will be returning to the show.

We did get one thing right.... Another source tells the magazine that if this storyline happens, Heigl will finally have some Emmy-worthy material. Hope she remembers to submit her name this time around!

Photo: ABC

Previously:
Top 10 Ways Grey's Anatomy Should Kill Off Izzie

Top 10 Ways "Grey's Anatomy" Should Kill Off Izzie

Ben Kallen — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 13:33:00 GMT

Actress Katherine Heigl has been such a thorn in the side of Grey's Anatomy lately -- most recently, by taking herself out of the running for an Emmy because she felt the writers hadn't given her the "material" to warrant such an honor -- that it wouldn't be surprising if the show's producers had begun plotting to get rid of her. And now, according to EOnline.com, that's exactly what creator Shonda Rhimes may be considering.

"It's not good there," the site quotes a source as saying. "Shonda is pissed. They're thinking of killing her off. They want Izzie dead."

Of course, it's not impossible that Heigl wants that too. Since her breakout role in Knocked Up, she's certainly ready for a film career -- although it remains to be seen whether the future will find her becoming the next Julia Roberts, or making endless sequels to 27 Dresses for the Lifetime channel.

But the really interesting question is this: If they do kill off Dr. Isobel Stevens, how should it happen? The history of TV is full of good demises -- whether falling down an elevator shaft, being crushed by a helicopter, or just disappearing without a trace, like Richie Cunningham's older brother. Naturally, we've got some suggestions. (These are free of charge, Shonda -- though we'll take a story editor credit if you have one lying around.)

1. The guy who lost out on his heart transplant when she stole one for her boyfriend Denny comes back with a scalpel, chanting "An eye for an eye."

2. She jumps out of a moving car to keep from hearing Meredith whine about McDreamy one more time.

3. She has a threesome with Callie and Erica Hahn, then expires from exhaustion.

4. She's George's first victim after stress and failure inevitably turn him into an axe murderer.

5. She takes an accidental drug overdose and has no idea what to do about it, because while dealing with all her personal issues she completely forgot to study medicine.

6. The same thing happens to her as happened to Dr. Greene on E.R. (By the way, what did happen to Dr. Greene on E.R.? For that matter, what ever happened to Anthony Edwards?)

7. She gets a dramatic, drawn-out three-episode death scene like Jimmy Smits on NYPD Blue, then really regrets offending the Emmy people.

8. She's karate-chopped in half by Isaiah Washington, who's still in character from The Bionic Woman.

9. She catches the flu while visiting Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital in New Jersey, where House tries to cure her by inducing complete organ failure.

10. She's sent off to that Santa Monica clinic from Private Practice. (Okay, that might be a fate worse than death.)

Can you give Izzie a better sendoff? Let us know.

Photo: ABC

Previously:
Katherine Heigl Is Sick of Grey's Anatomy

Katherine Heigl Drops Out of the Emmy Race?

Katherine Heigl Is Sick Of "Grey's Anatomy"

Bryan Christian — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 14:58:00 GMT

As we noted last week, Katherine Heigl blamed the Grey's Anatomy writing staff for her decision to withdraw from Emmy contention, claiming they hadn't given her good enough material. Which is obviously total horseshit. If bad writing were an impediment to getting an Emmy, John Lithgow's mantle would be bare as our ass on the day we were born. So little surprise, perhaps, that Heigl's real motivations may have come to light over the weekend.

[Heigl's withdrawal and comments have] fueled speculation in Hollywood that Ms. Heigl, 29, wants out of her contract on the series. This is the second time in little over a year that a dispute between Ms. Heigl and the show’s producers has spread beyond the studio soundstage.
[...]
Ms. Heigl is currently under contract with the program through at least the 2009-10 season, according to one of the people involved in its production. But the thinking among the show’s executives, that person said, is that Ms. Heigl wants to be free of the commitment to pursue more feature film roles.

What do you think: if Heigl gets her wish, gets out of her contract, and gets to do movies, will she be the next Shelley Long or the next... er... that move must have worked for someone, huh?

Katherine Heigl Drops Out of the Emmy Race?

Emily Farris — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 14:46:00 GMT

Grey's Anatomy star Katherine Heigl — who won a best supporting actress Emmy last year for her role as Izzy Stevens on the show — has greatly decreased her chances of winning one this year by, uh, removing herself from the race completely. And it appears to be a big "fuck you" to the writers.