The Remote Island : Knight Rider

NBC Fatcats Restructure TV Divisions To Save Some Loot, Cover Up Massive Mistakes

Jake Kalish — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 16:27:00 GMT

They're giving Trump 2 hours. They're giving Leno 10 p.m. They laid off 500 people, including half of CNBC, last week. And now, in its latest money-saving move, NBC is merging two TV divisions responsible for programming in a bid to be more "streamlined." Here's what co-chairman and desperate-honcho-trying-to-save-his-own-ass Marc Graboff had to say about the merger:

The move we are making today is in response to not only the current financial environment, but to the inherent structural changes that are going on in the television industry.

For context, the inherent structural changes currently going on at NBC are roughly similar to the inherent structural changes that occur to a building when a wrecking ball hits it. The Peacock is #4 of the four networks, and their ratings have dropped 14% this year. So now they're trying "to eliminate redundancies as far as possible." Good. Let's start by making sure there's only one Peter Petrelli or Hiro Nakamura at a time. Oh, sorry, that's just what happens with time travel? Cool. Can we go back to 1985, when people watched NBC?

How about this: someone explain to us why Ben Silverman and Jeff Zucker are continuing their endless fall upward when their legacies will include such ringing successes as Coupling, Knight Rider, surrendering great swathes of the schedule to Donald Trump and Jay Leno, and losing Katie Couric.

Blame it on the Dow

Olivia Purnell — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 19:00:00 GMT

Above, Brian Austin Green poses hard as Derek Reese in Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, a show that was recently renewed, in spite of the fact that it’s falling behind in the ratings. Knight Rider, Private Practice, and T:TSOC were all picked up this season despite fairly low viewership. We must say, people should tune into Private Practice just for a quick look at Taye Diggs.

Dig Diggs after the jump:

We watch these shows for obvious reasons (see Diggs' picture). Except Knight Rider; we can’t abide by Knight Rider . . . That talking car creeps us out, and, you know, it’s also just not good. But, we watch and write about T:TSOC with a fervor (for hilarious recappage, click here). But facts are facts, the ratings for these shows are fairly low. The Hollywood Reporter suggests that our national economic hiccup (read: meltdown) may be a factor in these unusual pickups:

The economic crisis, combined with the cost of marketing a new series, the lack of new programming inventory because of the WGA strike and the anticipated difficulty of locking down new advertiser commitments, has networks inclined to play it safe.

"From the networks' standpoint, they're loath to cancel since the cost of finding something to replace a show may not be worth it," said Shari Anne Brill, vp and director of programming at Carat. "And advertisers still prefer to be in a quality scripted series to an inexpensive reality show," she said, adding, "I'm in the camp that believes it's a mistake for an advertiser to disappear during a recession because you need the consumer awareness so sales won't grind to a halt."

Listen, we’ve got no problem continuing to follow the Connor family's adventures, or envying Kate Walsh’s perfectly styled hair on Private Practice. But, The Hollywood Reporter seems to suggest that we’re stuck with these shows instead of inventive fresh alternatives. So not only are our wallets empty, but our programming is stale. The economy strikes again. Damn you Dow Jones, damn you.

The Weekly Rewind: Seriously, Is This Election Over Yet?

Ben Kallen — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 21:30:00 GMT

Nope, not yet! TV's still all about politics -- and, on the other hand, distracting ourselves from politics -- as we'll find out when we recall the highlights of the week.

We watched hot Sarah Palin on SNL, and she was funnier than the average guest host. Coming soon: Ellen Show dancer Barack Obama. Too bad one of these two will be elected soon -- we smell comedy team! (Don't forget to add this guy.)

Opie Cunningham came back through time from 30-plus years ago! (To, um, tell us how to vote today.)

We watched the season premiere of 30 Rock -- before it aired on TV! The Internet is cool.

We heard that someone still doesn't like the looks of Dancing With the Stars' Cheryl Burke. Someone crazy.

...Or else maybe Dancing is cursed.

We set Lance Bass against Joey Fatone, and Dwight against Gareth. Remember, no talking about Fight Club!

We heard that Lindsay Lohan's having problems -- and this time, it's personal.

We saw the new CSI tech naked, which probably means she'll be murdered off soon.

We heard that William Shatner got into a spat with George Takei. Did you know they used to work together?

Just like Desmond, we predicted what's going to happen next on Lost.

We saw a preview of 50 Cent's new show, and it was kind of like business school. Heck, the guy's name is money.

We got mad at Fringe for being too much like other shows, but then realized that without other shows, it wouldn't be about anything.

What the hell, AMC? You say you're bringing back Mad Men, but neither the creator nor the actors have contracts yet? Is that any way to treat the best show on TV?

We wondered why anyone would want to dress like this lady anyway.

More Dexter, yay! More Knight Rider -- huh?

We saw Se cond Becky give a loud kiss-off to Ted on How I Met Your Mother. We love ya, sister, but please do not get back with J.D. on Scrubs.

And we noticed that House and Gray's Anatomy have figured out what we really want in a medical series: girl-on-girl action.

But not this kind.

Previously:
The Weekly Rewind: Everyone's a Comedian

NBC Gives the People What They Want: More "Knight Rider"

Ben Kallen — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 20:20:00 GMT

"Good" news, everyone! NBC has extended the run of Knight Rider to a full season.

According to Entertainment Weekly's Michael Ausiello, the network has ordered nine additional episodes of the show about the crime-fighting hunk and his talking car.

Now, we know what you're thinking: Knight Rider isn't good enough to be good, but it's also not bad enough to be good-bad. It lacks even the Hasselhoffian camp value of the original show. And what's the deal with Val Kilmer doing the voice of smart-car K.I.T.T., when it could have been Arrested Development's gravelly Will Arnett?

Well, it doesn't matter. Ausiello says Knight Rider "has remained competitive in its Wednesday 8 p.m. time slot, particularly among young men." So if you're one of them, you can blame... er, credit yourself for keeping the show around.

Previously:
Why We're Not Watching Knight Rider
Wake Up and Smile: No One's Watching TV But Us

Wake Up And Smile: The Teaches Of Miss Piggy

Bryan Christian — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 13:31:00 GMT

Hey, it's been a crazy week, right? Well, before we get to all the news about Pushing Daisies, It's Always Sunny..., Worst Week, The View, and Knight Rider, we thought we'd give you a treat, via our old pal Scanner Nicole: the Miss Piggy/Peaches mashup that your panties have been craving. You're welcome.

Now, click on through for all that news we were talking about...

-- OK, people, we can all laugh about how the crummy ratings this season are endangering crap like Knight Rider, but when Pushing Daisies starts to be endangered, it's not funny!

-- Happy news for It's Always Sunny... fans: Rob McElhenney and Kaitlin Olson got married this week. Now you know why she sticks around!

-- Any Fred Willard fans out there? Well, if you can stand the parade of indiginty that is Worst Week -- and if you're a self-avowed Fred Willard fan, ya prolly can -- look for him in the fall playing Sam's dad. Oh, man, that makes us nervous just thinking about it.. (Also, is this show turning into Big Day?)

-- People: Geddie says that Elizabeth Hasselbeck is not leaving The View. You can all calm down now.

-- Hey, look, something happened on Knight Rider this week. Well... guess you better have a look while you can!

Wake Up And Smile: No One's Watching TV But Us

Bryan Christian — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 13:28:00 GMT

-- Add Knight Rider to the increasingly long list of shows that have underperformed this year. Vulture thinks that NBC programming honcho Ben Silverman might lose his job over it; we're just thinking about how Jeff Zucker fell all the way to the top of the company.

-- Other shows on that list? Pretty much everything on Thursdays.

-- Jason Priestley and Luke Perry's not wanting to go on 90210 ain't gonna stop their characters from being namedropped left and right.

-- Somebody mashed up The Venture Brothers and GI Joe. Ah, we miss you Number 24.

-- Special Guest Star in the Montecito klink for a couple hours yesterday? Miss Amanda Woodward herself.

Why We're Not Watching "Knight Rider"

Ben Kallen — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 18:25:00 GMT

To paraphrase Groucho Marx, "We don't like any show where the leading man's chest is bigger than the leading lady's."

Of course, there are other reasons, too. And if you can't figure out what they are, watch it yourself. Then compare it to some highlights from the goofier but more fun original version, below. Who ever thought we'd be hurtin' for Hasselhoff?

Photo: NBC

Previously:
Get a Head Start on the Knight Rider Backlash

Wake Up And Smile: Wherein We Ignore The World Crumbling Around Us

Bryan Christian — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 13:36:00 GMT

Sick of the news? We sure are. We didn't even watch the Palin/Couric interview last night because we were so wrapped up in the McCain story, and blah blah blah ENOUGH!

So click on through for all the fluffy crap we're concentrating on for at least the next, erm, couple hours. It's mostly about cartoons; we think we might be regressing a little from all the stress. Hang on, there are some sexy boys and girls in there, too. That's grown-up, right? A little?

Ah well, whatevs... Item #1...

-- Our awesome Venture Brothers T-shirt arrived in the mail! That's right, the passing of loyal henchman Number 24 has been commemorated in a smashing goldenrod-and-black t -- and we've got one. Go Team Venture!

-- Oooh, check it out: 5 "insane devices" from Saturday morning cartoons that actually exist!

-- Hey how about some pretty people? Well, here's La Kim K being adorable in Monday's Dancing With The Stars, and here's Weeds' Hunter Parrish apparently doing pretty well on Broadway! Way to go guys. If you bred, your offspring would burn our eyes out with their astonishing good looks! And we'd love it.

-- Fans of anime: mourn the passing of Cartoon Network's Toonami, which hosted at one point or another most of the greatest Asian animation of our time -- and has pretty much been dropped in favor of Adult Swim. Go Team Venture?

-- Oh, and how wrapped up were we in the news last night? We missed Knight Rider, that's how much. We know! What is wrong with us?

Top Ten New Shows: #10 - "Knight Rider"

Bryan Christian — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 14:30:00 GMT

The new fall season is almost here. Starting next week, the cable and broadcast networks will begin rolling out their new shows to see if they take off like castaways on an island or singing casino managers. Here, then, are the top ten new shows we're most looking forward to seeing.

Back when we used to write for our sister blog Scanner, we subjected ourselves to the 2 hours of 2004-Maxim-back-of-book-style misery that was the Knight Rider reboot movie. And we stand behind what we said back then: should have made the new Michael Knight a woman. Then NBC could have gotten some new school, Galactica-style reboot juice AND had an excuse for the girl-on-girl action they only hinted at -- furtively, immaturely, and repeatedly -- in the backdoor pilot.

But, of course, they didn't. They went with some boring guy from a soap, and then even worse, they lost Will Arnett as the voice of K.I.T.T., and had to go with Val Kilmer, who God love him is still basically coasting off of Top Secret. (Well, come on; it was that good.)

Now, let's be clear: this doesn't make us upset or angry, certainly not as angry as this guy, because we've never considered the Knight Rider franchise to be sacrosanct or what-have-you. We're just a little steamed that we're not gonna get credited those two lost hours -- and however much we spend watching the reboot series -- the next time we buy a Mustang, considering how much Ford is backing this new show.

That all being said: even though we're not expecting much from the new KR series -- even with Gary Scott Thompson, former showrunner for our guilty fave Las Vegas, at the helm -- we've totally got to see it, if only to smell the smoke when it goes down in flames. Do we hate ourselves a little for that? Mmmm... could be. But dammit, if we don't keep Val Kilmer and America's car manufacturers solvent, who will?

Knight Rider (Wednesdays at 8PM EST) premieres Wednesday, September 24 at 8 PM EST.

TOP TEN NEW SHOWS 2008

#1. "Fringe"
#2. "True Blood"
#3. "90210"
#4. "Life On Mars"
#5. "The Mentalist"
#6. "Sons of Anarchy"
#7. "Do Not Disturb"
#8. "Eleventh Hour"
#9. "Kath & Kim"
#10. "Knight Rider"

The Weekly Rewind: We Want Our Fun TV

Ben Kallen — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 21:35:00 GMT

The Olympics are coming to an end, and the new TV season hasn't started yet. What the heck can we do with all that extra free time? Maybe we should just sit back, relax, and spend it on the highlights of the week:

We learned that George and Izzie are TV's most annoying couple, but then we remembered Ross and Rachel.

We were alternately thrilled and disappointed by Michael Phelps, and Bigfoot.

We heard Hurley sing, and it was awesome.

We remembered the most terrible game shows of all time, and it kind of made us want to watch them again. But the most memorable moments in TV history? Eh, seen 'em.

We heard that Kelly Bundy's just fine, and that made us happy.

We saw what The Bachelor's ex Shayne Lamas is like at a party, and it's pretty much what we figured.

We discovered that many TV stars don't watch TV, because they're too busy sipping expensive champagne with fashion models.

We figured out how to get MTV's original stars cable-ready again.

We wondered why this statue of Fonzie looks so much like Christopher Walken.

We learned why Canadians think the beaver is a proud and noble animal.

We learned who might be on Dancing With the Stars this season, and hoped Kim Kardashian wouldn't have center-of-gravity issues.

We discovered that the Internet is nothing but a gathering place for Knight Rider and Baywatch fanatics. But then, we knew that already.

Previously:
The Weekly Rewind: The Thrill of Victory, The Agony of TV

Presenting David Hasselhoff's "Hoffspace": Social Networking for Dummies

Ben Kallen — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 21:20:00 GMT

And we mean that literally.

Previously:
Presenting the Knight Rider GPS System
America's Got Talent Goes Into Cute Overload

Do You Care About A "Las Vegas"/"Knight Rider" Crossover?

Bryan Christian — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 14:24:00 GMT

You should! 'Cause it's coming! Maybe! And if you're a fan of Crossing Jordan or Heroes -- well, you probably already guessed what we're gonna say next.

Now, maybe you're not a fan of any of these shows, and you're all sort of like "Huh?" Well, the deal is this: NBC cancelled Las Vegas this spring after the writers strike truncated the show's third season, and, to be fair, after the show has been through the familiar dance of declining ratings, cast defections, a new timeslot. Oh, and also literally one day after showrunner Gary Scott Thompson was signed to captain their new Knight Rider reboot.

Which, you know, good for Gary -- but bad, perhaps, for Vegas fans, who were kind of expecting the show to return for the '08-09 season, particularly after the season (er, series) finale had Danny and Delinda getting hitched with a baby on the way -- like, really on the way, if you catch our meaning -- and the return of Tom Selleck's character from almost-certain death, and a couple of other things that we've forgotten that implied they'd be back.

Well, turns out Thompson might be pushing to have Danny and Delinda turn up on an episode of Knight Rider.

Thompson says that Josh Duhamel and Molly Sims are particularly interested in spelling out what became of Danny, Delinda and their baby. "I talked to them both the other day, and they said we should do something. It was their characters that were really left hanging, and they were very upset by it."

Here's the thing about this: astute viewers of all things NBC will note that Las Vegas was known for its crossovers, with explicit or implicit appearances by characters from Crossing Jordan, Magnum P.I., and -- wait for it -- Heroes. That's right. Heroes. As in: if this thing goes down, you could see Sylar vs. a tricked out goddamn superintelligent Ford.

Presenting the "Knight Rider" GPS System

Ben Kallen — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 19:01:00 GMT

Hey there, Knight Rider fans! Is there something missing from your life? We thought so. But your troubles are over: Soon you'll be able to buy a GPS system that tells you where to go in the voice of KITT, the AI-enhanced supercomputer. Actor William Daniels recorded directions especially for the unit, so you can pretend to be Michael Knight traveling around in your own talking car. It even boots up with the phrase, "Hello Michael, where do you want to go today?" From Mio, the unit will cost about $270 and will be available in a few months. (David Hasselhoff not included.)

Photo: NextAutos.com

You Got One Hour To Buy K.I.T.T. From "Knight Rider"

Bryan Christian — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 17:05:00 GMT

Get on it, all y'all rich nerds!

[via Chicago Tribune]