The Remote Island : Salon

Whoopi Goldberg Kicks Ass on Bill O'Reilly

Nicole Ankowski — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 18:15:00 GMT

We’re going to ignore that she is also obsessed with ass, because (a) who isn’t? And (b) watching the divine Ms. Goldberg repeatedly use the phrase “up your butt” while Bill O’Reilly tries to nod sagely is highly amusing.

Whoopi appeared on FOX’s The O’Reilly Factor over the last two nights, and is perhaps the only person we’ve seen you actually made Bill listen when she said: “Do me a favor here: Don’t. Bullshit. Me.” She then smoothly pointed out his sexist treatment of veteran White House reporter Helen Thomas, while knowing when to smile, nod, and let Bill choke on his own bloated ego...Oh, did we mention that Bill is, apparently, the only person in America who truly "understand[s] the Barack Obama phenomenon"?

Two nights ago she told Bill not to bullshit her (minute 3:10), and got him to say, “I stand corrected” when he implied The View is liberal and hated on John McCain when he was a guest, but bowed down to Michelle Obama. Whoopi pointed out that Michelle – and Cindy McCain – appeared as guest co-hosts, and of course The View crew treats co-hosts differently than an interview guest.

Bill then tried to compare the media’s treatment of Obama to the treatment of Sarah Palin. Whoopi stopped him and said, let’s take a look at the media’s treatment of the female candidates. O’Reilly insisted that the media treated all the women the same, and when Whoopi hinted that he had not done so, he sputtered indignantly – which led to our favorite line of both nights, as Whoopi said:
“What, suddenly you don’t speak English? You know who I’m talking about...You were very respectful towards [Hillary] Clinton the whole time?”

Bill replied, “Hillary Clinton? Yes I was. And she had an interview with me, that I think everybody says was the best interview she ever had.”

And then we puked in our mouths, just a little bit.

Last night’s second half of the interview is getting a ton of press today, because Whoopi called Bill out (technically, he invites her to call him out; smart talking head!) on his sexist mocking of veteran White House journalist Helen Thomas (he called her the “Wicked Witch of the East” and pretended to cackle in imitation). Whoopi lets Bill get away with some scandalous statements, but turns out she’s just biding her time to make her point. She then uses great psychology, telling him that his comments were mean, but in such a way that he couldn’t rebuke her: “I thought you were a little out-of-character mean.”

We also learn that Bill is confused about journalism (“I think the media is corrupt, and it’s a threat to all of us.” -- as if he’s not part of the system). And more than a little confused about, well, his place in culture, history…and the universe?
He says, “I understand the Barack Obama phenomenon almost better than anyone else in this country, because I look at it from outside…” And then tells Whoopi they both “came from the bottom rung.” He also dismisses anyone’s excitement over Barack being president as simply “emotional.”

Whoopi comes off as level-headed, intelligent, and able to beat him at his own game in these two clips. In other words, we could watch them and not want to rip our hair out.
Watching O’Reilly’s original comments, however, were insulting to all humanity, but probably great for his ratings. Good for you, and your soul, Bill. When he mocks 88-year-old Helen Thomas, who’s “covered every presidential administration since JFK’s,” he reminded us of former GOP Rep. Dick Army, who appeared on MSNBC’s Hardball on January 28, with Salon’s Joan Walsh. When Dick couldn’t keep up with Joan’s arguments, he kept throwing up his hands and saying, “Give it a rest!”

Joan countered with, “Please stop saying ‘give it a rest.’ Do you have anything else to say?”

His retort? “I am so damn glad that you could never be my wife, because I surely wouldn’t have to listen to that prattle from you.”

Joan was classier than we could have been, in the situation. She paused momentarily, then said: “Boy, that makes two of us, sir. That was really an outstanding comment.” We couldn’t agree more. Read Joan’s thoughts, here.

Whoopi's Interview, Part 1:

Whoopi's Interview, Part 2:

O'Reilly's Original Comments on Helen Thomas:

Helen Thomas' Question for Barack Obama:

Joan Walsh and Dick Army on Hardball:

Previously:
The Jessica Alba / Bill O'Reilly Feud Continues... Now On MySpace!
Jon Stewart gives Bill O’Reilly a Teddy Bear
Wake Up And Smile: If The Ladies Of The View Smoked Meth, There’d Be Some Stabbing
'The View' Crew Discusses Being 'Born Gay'
Michelle Obama Guest Hosts on "The View"

Are the CW's Ultra-Rich Kids Destroying Our Nation's Youth?

Ben Kallen — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 18:25:00 GMT

According to Salon.com TV writer Heather Havrilesky, pervasive sex and violence aren't what's harming our TV-watching teens -- it's pervasive wealth. On shows such as Gossip Girl, 90210 and Privileged, she writes, admiring depictions of the richest among us "make aspiring to own designer jeans and nice cars look hopelessly middle-class, compared to the fully serviced, spa-polished, couture lives of the truly wealthy."

Havrilesky points out that TV has always given us escapist wealth fantasies, from Dallas to Dynasty to, let's say, Dirty Sexy Money. But "we were meant to pity these lost, soulless, trashy people, squabbling in their enormous but somehow claustrophobic mansions." With these new CW shows, on the other hand, being rich just makes people happy.

"While Chuck, the poor little prince of Gossip Girl, may pace and swill fine bourbon in his lonely hotel room at the Palace, while Blair nibbles on chocolates in the fluffy confines of her four-poster bed and laments that 'Lady Godiva' is her only friend, these are rare low moments in otherwise fabulous, fun-filled lives that include glamorous parties in the Hamptons, dinner out at the best restaurants every night and a phalanx of handmaidens who quietly fulfill every whim. From the warmhearted, loving, McMansion dwellers Sandy and Kirsten of The O.C. to the spunky, good-natured grandmother lounging about in her Mediterranean-style villa on 90210, the filthy rich aren't the cartoonish demons they once were, and the benefits of their exorbitant lifestyles are paraded before our eyes at every turn. TV writers have abandoned the notion that heart and spirit might win out over money in the end, instead choosing to show us just how many things money can buy."

Still, it's just TV, right? But Havrilesky more or less blames a bunch of issues on this sort of wealth envy, from the mortgage crisis to a middle class drowning in credit-card debt. "Can these dramas -- which are made for young people, after all -- really be written off as harmless fun when so many of us aspire to throw money around like young barons and dukes with demonstrably tragic consequences for the entire country? As a growing percentage of families lose their homes and taxpayers are forced to foot the bill for the mortgage industry's indiscretions, while millionaire executives and private investors remain unscathed, should we feel so comfortable celebrating the growing divide between the haves and have-nots?"

We say, that's a lot to ponder. Which we intend to do shortly, but first we need to go buy a bunch of lottery tickets and try out for Who Wants To Be a Millionaire.

Image: The CW

Previously:
Salon Declares "The Summer of the Sensitive Slut"
All of Gossip Girl
All of 90210

Salon Pitches Some Reality Shows; We're Guessing No One From The Networks Called

Bryan Christian — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 17:30:00 GMT

Which is a shame, 'cause we'd totally watch I'm From Sky Mall.

The infamous in-flight catalog is nothing short of required reading on the American dream. An over-the-door traction harness! A home-use oxygen bar! Who knew so many pet products were possible? I don't know what's more amazing: that someone created a stepping stool for a dog to get onto a bed, or that people actually buy that stool. MTV's "I'm From Rolling Stone" was a disaster of concept and execution, but "I'm From Sky Mall" -- that could be a triumph of creativity and commerce. Just think, advertisers: free product placement!

'Cause it's such an uphill struggle for advertisers now!

Reality shows we'd like to see [Salon]

Salon Sez "True Blood" Might Be Pretty Good

Bryan Christian — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 14:33:00 GMT

Salon's Heather Havrilesky has seen a few episodes of True Blood, HBO and Alan Ball's new Southern fried vampire drama. And she's got good things to say about it. Also, she's apparently been snacking on mescaline while on hold with the phone company.

In other words, AT&T not only hires hot-tempered vampires to handle its phone lines, AT&T not only colludes with companies run by hot-tempered vampires, but AT&T itself is run by hot-tempered vampires -- which explains why the corporate behemoth aided the president in his nefarious eavesdropping activities. But look, don't get rid of your land line, because even though the hot-tempered vampires at the FDA keep assuring us that cellphones are safe, international studies have correlated excessive cellphone use with brain tumors, something we might've known a decade ago, if not for the hot-tempered vampire CEOs of most of our large corporations and the hot-tempered vampire lobbyists who work for them and the hot-tempered vampires taking over the House and the Senate as we speak.

Um, HUUUUUUHHHHH?

But even though the second episode of the season isn't structured very well, with lots of rambling talk about nothing, even though the show lacks the tightness and the natural momentum of "Six Feet Under" (and the weight and the intensity, for that matter), "True Blood" is still odd, unpredictable and off-kilter. And while the same might've been said for the ill-fated, rambling David Milch experiment "John From Cincinnati," the difference is that at the end of each episode of "True Blood," I want to see what happens next. Sookie and Bill are both good characters, and the setting and the story are both original and unfamiliar.

Oh, OK, thanks, Heather. Don't leave the house until you get some sleep.

Straight From Video: Love Letter To Agent Scully Over On Salon

Bryan Christian — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 18:28:00 GMT

Rebecca Traister is a little more excited about the new X-Files movie than we are -- and it ain't David Duchovny that's got her excited. But that's ain't the bone we've got to pick with her.

Scully was a leading lady to fall for, a smart-girl icon who was (and would still be, alas) a rare television bird: professional, independent, unsentimental. She liked boys' things: Her favorite movie was "The Exorcist," her favorite book the phallic classic "Moby-Dick"; her nickname from her father was Starbuck; she wrote her thesis on Einstein's twin paradox. She was the opposite of squeamish. In possibly the best "X-Files" episode of all time, the vampire farce "Bad Blood," there is an ur-Scully scene: She is doing an autopsy after a long day of chasing the undead through a small Texas town. Annoyed, she sighingly hoists the departed's heart, lung and intestines onto the scale, reading their weights into a tape recorder. Then she opens up the victim's stomach and starts poking around with her scalpel to determine his last meal. "Pizza, topped with pepperoni, green peppers, mushrooms." Here she pauses, looks up briefly from the bloody innards. "Mushrooms. That sounds good." She orders a pizza.

We are with Traister for all of that -- particularly the part where we are reminded of that nickname connection to Battlestar... And then she goes all "Best Episode Ever." Really? "Best episode ever" all the way into Season Six? Post-move to California? Post-Darin Morgan? Post Chris Carter's preoccupation with Millennium? Hmm... To each their own!

"The Newsroom": One Of TV's Great Missing Links?

Bryan Christian — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 14:28:00 GMT

Full disclosure: we knew someone involved with the first incarnation of The Newsroom. (We'd say "know" but, aside from Facebook, we haven't communicated with them in a few years.) So, when we tell you it's a truly great show, and that an appreciation of the bitter, verité workplace comedy like Salon's is more than overdue, you're just gonna have to believe us: if you haven't seen it, and you're a fan of The Office or Curb Your Enthusiasm, it will probably blow your mind.

"The Newsroom" ran for three seasons, garnering critical acclaim (including an International Emmy for best comedy series), a small but loyal following north of the border, and a re-airing on PBS. It's not entirely surprising that the show didn't find a larger audience; when it first aired in 1996, it was, in many ways, ahead of its time. Long before "The Office" gained fame for its use of hand-held cameras, prolonged awkward silences and horrendously painful humor, "The Newsroom" employed the same strategy to skewer the racism and sexism of the male-dominated workplace, applied it to television news, and took on much meatier targets.

Ehhh... Sure. There's that. Also: there's an endless and supremely entertaining parade of extremely vapid, selfish people. (That's the part we like!)

Salon Declares "The Summer of the Sensitive Slut"

Bryan Christian — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 19:04:00 GMT

There's an interesting thought experiment over on Salon, with Heather Havrilesky comparing Secret Diary of a Call Girl and Denise Richards: It's Complicated. Wondering who comes out on top?

Actually, we're not sure ourselves.

This is the simple math of a natural-born whore. In fact, while Hannah of "Secret Diary of a Call Girl" is clearly a romanticized, melodramatic version of her real-life counterpart, Denise Richards' clear-cut pragmatism probably comes closer to the thinking of the real Belle de Jour. You want to see my tits? Sure, why not? Charlie Sheen wants to marry me? What the hell, maybe he's turning over a new leaf.

You know what we like about this article most? How Havrilesky manages to get through the whole article without addressing the rumor that Richards was once actually a call girl, which we first heard many years ago and seemed, in a weird way, to have been addressed by the Heidi Fleiss TV docudrama, which featured an woman of Fleiss' employ who looked an awful lot like Richards.

Hey, listen; we got no idea if it's true. We're just wondering if Havrilesky knew about the rumor or not. Thoughts?