“Dirty Sexy Money”: Girl Fight

Olivia Purnell — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 17:00:00 GMT

This week Nick George is caught in the middle of two love triangles, which, we guess, would make it one big love hexagon. Or a love VIN diagram. Or, possibly, it just makes for an all out hair-pulling, face scratching, earring ripping girl fight.

Let’s get into the dirty sexy details shall we?

Dirty Sexy Love Triangle Number 1:
Nick is having some marital issues with Lisa. They want to work it out blah, blah, blah, but the truth is he can’t choose between Lisa and Karen. Lisa finds out about Nick’s indecision, and confronts “skinny slut” Karen (her words, not ours . . . although if the skinny shoe fits . . .). Karen tells Lisa she’s not afraid to fight a fat girl (again, don’t shoot the messenger). And the two throw down in the Darling foyer.

Cut to the aftermath. Enter Jeremy Darling. The littlest Darling has always had a crush on Mrs. Lisa George. Lisa’s vulnerable. Jeremy’s willing and able. So, predictably, the two go at it on the couch in Lisa’s Gallery. Guess that makes this a love square, not a love triangle. A love rectangle, maybe?

Dirty Sexy Love Triangle Number 2:
Leticia Darling goes for a drunken drive one morning and hits a cyclist with her coup. Luckily Wren, our girl cyclist, was wearing a helmet so she’s only slightly concussed. Until she recovers fully, Wren gets to stay with the Darlings. She catches patriarch Tripp’s eye and ends up kissing Nick George on the balcony. What?!? Wren, we know you’ve recently experienced a trauma but after witnessing a crazy Nick-George-love-fueled fistfight in the foyer; you really want to stick your tongue down his throat?

The only person who seemed less crazy this episode was Lucy Liu. Apparently her character, Nola Lyons, isn’t truly a heartless power-hungry lady-shark. She wants to stop exploiting the Darlings, but Simon Elder has her little brother locked away somewhere, and is blackmailing her with her little bro’s whereabouts.

Which brings us to Simon Elder. Blair Underwood was officially named one of People’s Sexiest Men Alive this week. That calls for a little gratuitous Blair, don’t you think?

Dirty Sexy Blair. Loves it.

Next week, the prodigal twin Darling returns. That’s right, Dirty Sexy Samaire Armstrong is back.

Previously:

Dirty Sexy Samaire Armstrong
“Dirty Sexy Money” Lucy Liu Goes Down

Dirty Sexy Samaire Armstrong

Olivia Purnell — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 21:20:00 GMT

Samaire is coming back to Dirty Sexy Money. Although we’re sure she’s both dirty and sexy, we can’t decide if we’re glad to have her back . . .

You remember Samaire; she played the quirky girl character on The O.C., Anna (the prototype for Gossip Girl’s pretty outsider, Vanessa).

Recently she’d switched from quirky outsider to rich girl insider on Dirty Sexy Money, playing Juliet Darling, one of the hard-partying, hissy-fit throwing, high-society Darling twins. However Juliet’s been missing in action during season 2. Ever since Samaire was taken off contract last spring (ouch), her character Juliet has supposedly been off seeing the world. Now, though, Samaire's up to her old Dirty Sexy tricks, reuniting with the rest of the Darling family for a Thanksgiving episode (entertainmentweekly.com).

Is this really a good idea? Adding yet another character to a cast of 19,000 Darlings.

Don’t get us wrong, Samaire is adorable in that sprightly and slightly lispy way that makes you think of Tinkerbelle and puffed pastries. We love fairy dust and baked goods. But, the cast is fairly loaded as is, and we’re just not sure if we can absorb any more storylines. They’ve already got Lucy Liu, Peter Krause, Donald Sutherland, Blair Underwood, and a Baldwin on the roster for gosh sakes. Isn’t there such a thing as too much dirty sexiness or too much sexy dirtiness? There might be.

Here’s hoping their Tofurkey Day ep will change our mind.

Previously:

"Dirty Sexy Money": Lucy Liu Goes Down

The Remote Island : Samaire Armstrong

“Dirty Sexy Money”: Girl Fight

Dirty Sexy Samaire Armstrong