The Remote Island : Seinfeld

The Seinfeld Porn - See The Cast, Including The "Porn Nazi"

Jake Kalish — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 18:22:00 GMT

See, this is the thing with the word "Nazi" - put "Soup" in front of it, that's funny. Put "Porn" in front of it, that's disturbing. Many people will wait in line patiently for the Soup Nazi's soup. Far fewer, and far creepier, people, will wait for what the Porn Nazi is doling out. Anyway, as the Porn Nazi, that's porno legend Evan Stone, fresh from having his penis ruin the Super Bowl.

Want to see the rest of the cast for the XXX Seinfeld? Our initial impressions, based solely on these thespians' looks, as we have never seen a pornographic film in our lives: mediocre Jerry. Excellent Kramer. Extremely porny Elaine. And Jason Alexander is going to be very insulted by the George Costanza...

Right? Look at that guy. Terrible. Jason Alexander should sue. Here's a comparison of the four main characters:

Fleshbot has NSFW photos of the whole cast. And, this being a porn film, something with which we are completely unfamiliar, there are apparently a whole lot of extra female roles. Funny that with all the beautiful women who passed through Seinfeld, even just as Jerry's girlfriends on the show, that Porno Seinfeld ran out of roles and filled out the cast with "video clerk", and two female porn stars playing themselves. Porn isn't known for being diligent in its research, though. Hopefully someone is a big Seinfeld fan, because there are numerous scenes, like this one, that are ripe for porno parody. We're sure the line "they're real and they're spectacular" will be uttered, at least once.

PREVIOUSLY:

"Seinfeld", The Porn

"Happy Days" Gets Down And Dirty...XXX Dirty

Friday Flashback: "Seinfeld", The Masturbation Contest

"Seinfeld", The Porn

Jake Kalish — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 21:35:00 GMT

A Seinfeld porno is coming, in more ways than one...

New Sensations, the pornographic opportunists who brought you The Office: A XXX Parody and Scrubs: A XXX Parody, are currently filming Seinfeld: A XXX Parody. A comment from the film's director, Lee Roy Myers:

It makes my job look easy when I get to work with an amazingly talented group who can pull off the hot sex and comedic acting. It just doesn’t get better than that.

The hot sex will likely take precedence over the comedic acting, but so much of Seinfeld's oeuvre is ripe for porno parody - Elaine's holiday card nip slip, the masturbation contest, and, of course, shrinkage...

PREVIOUSLY:

"Happy Days" Gets Down And Dirty...XXX Dirty

Raven Williams Of "Rock Of Love": So What, I Did A Porno

Cable Needs Porn

Friday Flashback: "Seinfeld", The Masturbation Contest

Friday Flash Back: “Seinfeld”, The Masturbation Contest

Olivia Purnell — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 21:30:00 GMT

It seems like every time we turn around there’s new news about Seinfeld. We're kind of into it, though. Are you?

Even though you’re a little skeptical about Jerry’s entree into Reality TV, aren’t you excited to see the old gang on Curb Your Enthusiasm (except for Michael Richards, he’s still on our shitlist)? We know you miss George Costanza. Don’t you want to watch old school Jerry loosing friends and alienating people while laughing hysterically and spraying half-chewed pretzel crumbs all over your mother's new couch (Put the plastic cover on! That’s what the plastic is for!)? Don’t you want the whole series? For under $100? (yeah, Remote Lindy thought you might like that.)

It’s Friday. Give into the nostalgia. Think about the times at Tom’s Restaurant. Try to come up with a woman’s name that rhymes with a female body part. Hear the strains of Seinfeld slap bass in your ears. It sounds like the early 90's, doesn't it? Le sigh. Remember the classic masturbation-abstinence match of 1992?

Since we’re not sick of them yet. Lets have a look back at “The Contest”

Dolores. It rhymes with Clitoris.

Previously:

"Seinfeld" Cast To Reunite On "Curb Your Enthusiasm"

Jerry Seinfeld Does Reality TV?

Today in DVD Bargains: Complete "Seinfeld" Series For Under $100

Blast from The Past: Jason Alexander For The McD.L.T.

Jake Kalish — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 20:33:00 GMT

The news of an approaching Curb Your Enthusiasm/Seinfeld comedy tornado got us thinking on the cast of that show about nothing, remembering our favorite Seinfeld moments from each of them. And then, when we got to George Costanza, we realized our favorite Jason Alexander moment may not be from Seinfeld at all, but rather an utterly ridiculous 80's musical commercial for McDonald's McD.L.T.

The burger failed, but this commercial can be called nothing but a huge comedic success...

The cool stays cool, indeed.

Here Comes Larry

Jake Kalish — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 14:30:00 GMT

Curb Your Enthusiasm is coming back. Production starts next week, and the show's seventh season will premiere in September. Which means along with being the co-creator and head writer of TV Guide's greatest show of all time, Larry David is the creator and star of HBO's longest-running series ever. He better step it up, or he'll never make it in the television biz. Nobody needs to help this bald brother out...

Today in DVD Bargains: Complete "Seinfeld" Series For Under $100

Lindy Parker — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 20:45:00 GMT

Thanks to the good people at The Sound of Young America for keeping us abreast of deals that will help us stay up to our ears in Seinfeld, but out of financial ruin. Now, for a mere $99.99 we can have unlimited access to one of the great joys of our lives: the Seinfeld blooper reel...

Julia Louis-Dreyfus Doesn't Bring Home The Bacon

Lindy Parker — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 18:20:00 GMT

Julia Louis-Dreyfus! Yay! It's good to see you looking so fab in sherbert tones! We admit we haven't actually seen an episode of your new show (whose name we can't remember because we call it "Not Seinfeld"), but that doesn't mean we aren't glad to see you out and about and baring your abs for Shape Magazine. Girl, truth be told, we're not sure we would've guessed you had those abs on you, what with your deep passion for cured pork...

Check out JLD's midriff-baring cover shot below...

"My biggest food vice is bacon," Louis-Dreyfus confesses. "In fact, I don't keep bacon in my house – that would be way too tempting." (People.com)

Fair enough, JLD. We won't argue with that six pack. Question: Is turkey bacon okay?

Previously:

Seinfeld To Debut in HD January 26th

Seinfeld To Debut In HD January 26th

Jake Kalish — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 21:25:00 GMT

Do we really need to see Newman that well?

Seinfeld is going high-definition to broadcast stations for the very first time January 26th. Great as the show was - and TV Guide called it the best ever - it wasn't really known for its amazing visuals or great lookers. Well, JL-D is cute. Oh, and Jerry's girlfriends were always good. "They're real - and they're spectacular."

Dammit, did we just quote Seinfeld, after we vowed not to? So much for being masters of our own domain.