The Remote Island : Shayne Lamas

The Weekly Rewind: We Want Our Fun TV

Ben Kallen — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 21:35:00 GMT

The Olympics are coming to an end, and the new TV season hasn't started yet. What the heck can we do with all that extra free time? Maybe we should just sit back, relax, and spend it on the highlights of the week:

We learned that George and Izzie are TV's most annoying couple, but then we remembered Ross and Rachel.

We were alternately thrilled and disappointed by Michael Phelps, and Bigfoot.

We heard Hurley sing, and it was awesome.

We remembered the most terrible game shows of all time, and it kind of made us want to watch them again. But the most memorable moments in TV history? Eh, seen 'em.

We heard that Kelly Bundy's just fine, and that made us happy.

We saw what The Bachelor's ex Shayne Lamas is like at a party, and it's pretty much what we figured.

We discovered that many TV stars don't watch TV, because they're too busy sipping expensive champagne with fashion models.

We figured out how to get MTV's original stars cable-ready again.

We wondered why this statue of Fonzie looks so much like Christopher Walken.

We learned why Canadians think the beaver is a proud and noble animal.

We learned who might be on Dancing With the Stars this season, and hoped Kim Kardashian wouldn't have center-of-gravity issues.

We discovered that the Internet is nothing but a gathering place for Knight Rider and Baywatch fanatics. But then, we knew that already.

Previously:
The Weekly Rewind: The Thrill of Victory, The Agony of TV

"Bachelor" Winner/Loser Shayne Lamas Handles Rejection By Baring Ass For Party Photographer

Bryan Christian — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 13:25:00 GMT

There she is, winner of this year's Bachelor and next in the long line of great Lamas actors, Shayne Lamas, slowly getting over her shame and sorrow at having her tv fiance break up with her by tossing a few back and contemplating giving Last Night's Party photographer Merlin Bronques a peek under her skirt. Which, six frames later, she does. (Honest; click through for the full ass-shot.)

Oh, if only every pampered Hollywood blonde handled breakups by getting hammered and getting her secret ingredients digicammed by some mustachioed hipster.

(Ha ha, see what we did there? It's like we've been asleep for 8 years or something! Wouldn't that be hilarious?)

[via Defamer]

BONUS: Click through for your own peek at what Bachelor Matt Grant didn't think was worth keeping around.

PREVIOUSLY:
Reality News You Can't Use: Another "Bachelor" Breakup

Hey, we'd have thought that the word 'ass-shot' wouldn't have needed that hyphen -- but without it, there's three 's''s in a row! That can't be right!

Reality News You Can't Use: Another "Bachelor" Breakup

Ben Kallen — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 20:28:00 GMT

The magical love affair between suave Brit Matt Grant and childlike blonde "actress" Shayne Lamas is over. Grant -- who chose Lorenzo Lamas' hot daughter instead of some actual adult women on the most recent season of The Bachelor -- apparently learned she was seeing someone else when he read about it in the New York Post.

According to the paper, "Just two days after Page Six reported Lamas had cheated on the Bachelor star with Las Vegas media mogul Justin Weneger, Lamas phoned Grant and called off the coupling. Spies said the aspiring actress is planning a trip to see Weneger soon. Grant, who moved from London to L.A. to be near his sweetie, is said to be devastated."

Yeah, nobody saw that coming, except maybe every single person who watched the show. But don't worry, we're guessing Matt will be okay -- as it turns out, L.A.'s a pretty good place to meet gorgeous blonde actress-models, especially if you're a rich guy who's been on TV.

Previously:
Why The Bachelor Will Never Work