The Remote Island : The Weekly Rewind

The Weekly Rewind: Sex and the Country

Ben Kallen — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 21:20:00 GMT

The Emmys are almost here, and there are new or returning shows on just about every night -- basically, it's a great time to be a TV fan. But don't touch that dial! At least, not until we get to the highlights of the week.

We watched as politics met culture, Tina Fey met Sarah Palin, and no one would stop talking about it.

We learned that when it comes to shows like Gossip Girl and 90210, you really can be too rich and too thin.

We saw Gossip Girl's very own audience magically appear on the show to give Dan and Serena a good tongue-lashing.

We heard Megan Fox and Kristen Bell talk about sex, and pretty much stopped paying attention to anything else for a while.

We went to reality-TV school, but were surprised to learn that some reality contestants became real couples.

We saw Lynne Spears defend herself, though not in court.

We found out who Kelly Taylor's baby daddy was, and asked him to come back.

We wished all the best to Mr. and Mr. Sulu.

We appreciated Jada Pinkett Smith, and crushed on T.J. Thyne and Cesar Milan and Abigail Spencer.

But we felt bad for Ryan O'Neal.

We thought it was terrible when Hurricane Ike took down entire neighborhoods, but kind of funny when it almost took down a weatherman.

And we still weren't tired of Neil Patrick Harris.

Megan Fox photo from GQ

Previously:
The Weekly Rewind: Floating in a Sea of Television

The Weekly Rewind: Summer's End

Ben Kallen — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 21:35:00 GMT

Man, what an action-packed few days! We had the Olympics finale, a political convention, the start of a big holiday weekend, and -- most important of all -- the buildup to the new fall TV season. So how 'bout we look back on it all with the highlights of the week:

We counted down the top 10 new shows and the top 10 returning shows for the upcoming season. That's, yes, 20 shows worth watching. We know that some critics are worried about the overall quality of the fall schedule... but, really, if 20 isn't enough for them, they should maybe start thinking about reading more books.

We found 18 "memorable TV moments" that the Emmy people left off their list. And yet they still won't let us present the award for Best Supporting Actress in a Comedy!

We met the new American Idol judge, and she's attractive, articulate and successful. Let's hope she keeps her Coke cup away from Paula.

We watched some hilariously terrible music videos featuring TV stars. If you've ever wondered what the Internet was made for, this is it.

We thought we'd lost Denise Richards, and then we maybe got her back, but then we weren't sure we really wanted her after all. Just like Charlie in that one episode of Two and a Half Men!

We learned that even after all this time, we're still amused by the phrase "Stifler's mom."

We saw Mackenzie Phillips get in trouble with drugs, and David Duchovny get in trouble with sex. Where the hell is Dr. Drew when you need him?

Helloooo, Mr. Phelps! Goodbyyyye, Mr. Bush!

We got ready to spend the waning days of summer with a nice long weekend of TV. Hey, it's our job -- what's your excuse?

Photo: AP

Previously:
The Weekly Rewind: We Want Our Fun TV

The Weekly Rewind: Baby, We Love Your Way

Ben Kallen — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 21:29:00 GMT

In the warmth of midsummer, here at The Remote Island our thoughts turned to the celebrities we love.

We heard that beautiful, sensible young Topanga is all grown up and ready to steal our jobs. And so, apparently, is A.C. Slater.

We learned that Lisa Bonet and Gretchen Mol will be joining the cast of Life on Mars -- a show that had better be good, or the sheer wastefulness of it all will make us sad.

We watched the appealing, flawed, doomed people of Mad Men celebrate Valentine's Day in 1961, then attempt to pick up new fans in Grand Central Station.

We learned that someone on Ugly Betty is going to start dating Kelly Ripa's handsome husband -- and we don't mean Regis.

We listened as lovely Lindsay Lohan got a special shout-out from the chief of police.

We got jealous when we saw Dave Letterman and Agent Scully making out. But we thought those kids from Gossip Girl should get a room.

We watched 10,000 beautiful and graceful Chinese performers at the Olympics, even though we weren't supposed to.

We watched Dr. Horrible for the 20th time, and put it on the site so you could, too. Then we watched Felicia Day's new project -- or maybe we were just watching Felicia Day.

We saw Sharon Osbourne try to check under the hood of an Ozzy impersonator to make sure it wasn't really her husband.

We were shocked to hear that Brooke Hogan doesn't vote, then decided it's probably for the best.

We were surprised to hear that Torchwood's John Barrowman is in talks to play Captain America, then decided no one would mind.

We saw a Judge Judy plaintiff hang on to her wits, and her clothes, in the midst of the L.A. earthquake -- which is more than we can say for these Big Brother contestants.

We didn't know what to think about J.Lo and that hooker lady's respective future plans, but we wished them well.

And we decided that the best way to end the week would be to hear Lisa Bonet sing -- in a French-dubbed clip from High Fidelity, naturally.

Previously:
The Weekly Rewind: Endless Summer