The Remote Island : Top Ten Returning Shows Fall 2008

Put Your Hands Together For The Fall 2008 Season!

Bryan Christian — Mon, 01 Sep 2008 23:15:00 GMT

If this were a stadium full of slavering TV fans, we'd be all like "Are you people ready to get the new season started? How many of y'all are hot for Prison Break? [pause for audience hollering] How many of y'all wanna give it up for Gossip Girl? [another pause, holding the microphone out to the bleachers] Yeaaaaaahhhh..." And then we'd, like, do a little air guitar pose while fireworks went off in the shape of Ben Silverman and we'd launch the new TV season with all the fanfare that it deserves.

But this ain't a stadium full of maniacally excited couch surfers. It's just the web. On a holiday. So if you're reading this, for God's sake, don't. Find a friend who's watching Prison Break or Gossip Girl (or heck, even Raising The Bar) that you can get to in the next, um, 45 minutes, and run over there and hang out a little, have a drink, socialize. Then meet back here tomorrow morning, 'cause we got a lot of fun stuff going on this year to share with you, starting today with our full Top Ten lists of new and returning shows below, and tomorrow with recaps and news on all your favorite shows.

See ya tomorrow when you're too hungover to get anything done at work!

TOP TEN NEW SHOWS

#1. "Fringe"
#2. "True Blood"
#3. "90210"
#4. "Life On Mars"
#5. "The Mentalist"
#6. "Sons of Anarchy"
#7. "Do Not Disturb"
#8. "Eleventh Hour"
#9. "Kath & Kim"
#10. "Knight Rider"

TOP TEN RETURNING SHOWS

#1. "30 Rock" & "Terminator"
#2. "Dexter"
#3. "Gossip Girl"
#4. "Pushing Daisies"
#5. "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia"
#6. "Heroes"
#7. "Dirty Sexy Money"
#8. "House"
#9. "Entourage" / "Californication"
#10. "The Shield"

The Weekly Rewind: Summer's End

Ben Kallen — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 21:35:00 GMT

Man, what an action-packed few days! We had the Olympics finale, a political convention, the start of a big holiday weekend, and -- most important of all -- the buildup to the new fall TV season. So how 'bout we look back on it all with the highlights of the week:

We counted down the top 10 new shows and the top 10 returning shows for the upcoming season. That's, yes, 20 shows worth watching. We know that some critics are worried about the overall quality of the fall schedule... but, really, if 20 isn't enough for them, they should maybe start thinking about reading more books.

We found 18 "memorable TV moments" that the Emmy people left off their list. And yet they still won't let us present the award for Best Supporting Actress in a Comedy!

We met the new American Idol judge, and she's attractive, articulate and successful. Let's hope she keeps her Coke cup away from Paula.

We watched some hilariously terrible music videos featuring TV stars. If you've ever wondered what the Internet was made for, this is it.

We thought we'd lost Denise Richards, and then we maybe got her back, but then we weren't sure we really wanted her after all. Just like Charlie in that one episode of Two and a Half Men!

We learned that even after all this time, we're still amused by the phrase "Stifler's mom."

We saw Mackenzie Phillips get in trouble with drugs, and David Duchovny get in trouble with sex. Where the hell is Dr. Drew when you need him?

Helloooo, Mr. Phelps! Goodbyyyye, Mr. Bush!

We got ready to spend the waning days of summer with a nice long weekend of TV. Hey, it's our job -- what's your excuse?

Photo: AP

Previously:
The Weekly Rewind: We Want Our Fun TV

Top Ten Returning Shows: #1 - TIE: "30 Rock" & "Terminator"

Bryan Christian — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 21:27:00 GMT

The new fall season is almost here. Starting next week, the cable and broadcast networks will be begin rolling out new episodes of all the shows that survived the writers-strike-afflicted 2007-2008 season, giving us the chance to get acquainted with some old friends -- and reacquaint ourselves with more than a few characters who we met only fleetingly last fall. Here, then, are the top ten returning shows that we're most looking forward to seeing.

It's a tie! We're as surprised as you are! (No, really; you have no idea.)

Here's the thing: we pretty much knew that 30 Rock would be at the top of this list. Its qualifications? Um, let's see... Amadeus parodies, blue dudes, werewolf bar mitzvahs, the Shinehardt Wig Company, "mind grapes," a seemingly endless supply of Conan O'Brien jokes, Tim Conway being racist, Paul Reubens being inbred, Will Arnett being Will Arnett, "MIND GRAPES" again, The Rural Juror, "Muffin Top," and Tracy Morgan saying "I was poopin' in the ladies room at the Ivy." Done.

But we totally did not expect Terminator to be right up there with it.

For one thing, it's got its share of problems. Like the narration, which strikes us as the sort of hollowly emotional flourish that disappears after a while, like Suddenly Susan's grandma. For another, we're not entirely confident in the way the story is screwing with the Terminator continuity. Maybe this is something that's being addressed in McG's big-screen Terminator sequel? And, well, we're not big fans of John Carter, who's kind of a sourpuss.

But as any sentient computer system worth their bandwidth will tell you, numbers don't lie -- and Terminator showed up in more of our "yes, please" lists than any of the other shows coming back this year.

Maybe it's the interplay between Lena Headey's Sarah Connor -- hotter and more human than Linda Hamilton, if somewhat less tortured -- and Summer Glau's new model (get it?) Terminator, Cameron (get it?) Phillips? We sometimes wish Cameron would go back to being as good at pretending to be a teenager as she was in the pilot, but she's clearly having as much fun sexifying the "square, Vulcan-type" role as, say, Jolene Blalock did back on Enterprise, so we'll just roll with it.

Ah, hang on... now we get it. Maybe if we were running around with two pistol packin' betties and not getting any action, we'd be sourpusses too.

30 Rock (Thursdays at 9:30 PM EST) premieres Thursday, October 30 at 9:30 PM EST on NBC

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles (Mondays at 9PM EST) premieres THIS MONDAY at 9:00 PM on FOX

TOP TEN RETURNING SHOWS FALL 2008

Top Ten Returning Shows: #2 - "Dexter"

Ben Kallen — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 18:26:00 GMT

If you had told us a couple of years ago that someone was developing a show in which an emotionless serial killer was the hero, we'd have said... well, we'd have said that sounds totally cool, but they'll never find an actor who can pull it off. And yet they went and did it anyway.

Michael C. Hall, who was a standout among the terrific ensemble cast of Six Feet Under, absolutely rules in the role of Dexter, the conflicted killer with just enough self-control to only murder people who really deserve it. Dexter knows that in order to avoid detection he has to appear to be a relatively normal guy, and this double identity -- as a blood-spatter expert who helps the police catch criminals, and a compulsive killer who takes care of the ones who get away -- makes for an acting tour de force that's more than Emmy-worthy. But the other actors, including Julie Benz as Dexter's equally damaged girlfriend, Jennifer Carpenter as his feisty cop foster sister, and his diverse gang of coworkers at the Miami Metro Police Department, are excellent as well.

Dexter is based on an entertaining series of novels, but the TV version is just in a whole different league. Its sophisticated mixture of suspense, gore and dark humor makes the somewhat similar Bones (which we also like) look like a comic book in comparison. We'll admit there were a few bumps in the road in season 2 (most having to do with Dexter's involvement with a crazy-sexy artist who was generally annoying, despite her delightfully Showtime-friendly taste for nudity). But we expect the introduction of Jimmy Smits as a tough-on-crime DA this year to smooth things right out again. If Showtime ever had an inferiority complex regarding HBO, it can stop now -- this series closes the gap.

Dexter (Sundays at 9PM EST, repeats at other times during the week) premieres Sunday, September 28th at 9PM EST on Showtime.

TOP TEN RETURNING SHOWS FALL 2008

Top Ten Returning Shows: #3 - "Gossip Girl"

Bryan Christian — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 16:30:00 GMT

People, if you don't know that Gossip Girl is the show of the moment, well, maybe you don't live in New York. 'Cause that's what we're told over and over here. It's a little annoying, actually. It might also be right.

Normally, we'd be wary of such NY-centric notions, but we'll entertain this one for two reasons. The first is that after a flashy first season, and with tons of other teen shows breathing down its neck this year, Gossip Girl's garnered enough buzz, and its stars have attracted enough attention in the real world, to where (as the most recent batch of promos seem to promise) it has a serious shot at carving out a niche as the ultimate mashup of Heathers, Cruel Intentions, and 90210, which would tickle us pink. If we had one complaint about its camera-friendly cast, it's that only Leighton Meester and Ed Westwick really seem to take the dark side of their characters priveleged existence seriously week after week. (Chace Crawford, we just saw you in a crummy-but-awesome drug dealer movie on Cinemax, and you know what? You've got a little more gravity than we'd realized. Bring it to the show, brah!)

For another, it's kind of the CW's flagship show now, meaning that if Gossip Girl manages to get its groove on this season, and if 90210 (which looks more like Gossip Girl West than anything else) catches on, it might very well be credited with saving the struggling mini-network's neck. Now that's drama!

Gossip Girl (Mondays at 8PM) premieres THIS MONDAY, September 1 at 8PM on The CW

TOP TEN RETURNING SHOWS FALL 2008

Top Ten Returning Shows: #4 - "Pushing Daisies"

Bryan Christian — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 17:31:00 GMT

Of all the shows to have their runs shortened by last year's writers strike, Pushing Daisies was the one we missed the most. We'd just started to settle in to its screwball rhythms and its sweet, tragicomic approach to mortality when it went off the air, and even though we knew that Ned, Chuck, and the rest of the cast of characters would be returning in the fall -- Pushing Daisies was the first show to get renewed last season -- we were still bummed that we'd have to wait a few months longer to get some of our burning questions answered. Will Chuck be able to keep the secret of her re-animation from her aunts? What really happened back when Ned accidentally killed Chuck's dad? A nd when are we gonna get to see that plastic wrap trick Ned and Chuck were talking about? Apparently, we're gonna get a few of those questions answered this year. To which we say: please please please let it be the plastic wrap one.

Pushing Daisies (Wednesdays at 8PM EST) premieres Wednesday, October 1 at 8PM EST on ABC.

TOP TEN RETURNING SHOWS FALL 2008

Top Ten Returning Shows: #5 - "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia"

Bryan Christian — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 14:31:00 GMT

Guys, we love tacky, juvenile, strangely-well-orchestrated comedy as much as the next jerks. And yeah, we think that this is the best thing that Danny DeVito's done as an actor since Taxi.

But we got one reason and one reason only why we're excited about It's Always Sunny... coming back.

His name is Charlie Day.

Top Ten Returning Shows: #6 - "Heroes"

Bryan Christian — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 20:35:00 GMT

It's make-or-break time for NBC's superhero drama, which had opened strong in 2006 but (owing to the writers strike and an overambitious scope) ran into trouble last year. Will the "Villains" storyarc get the show its powers back? Creator Tim Kring has promised a tighter focus and the return of Kristen Bell, of which we wholeheartedly approve, but the promos we've seen seem to undo at least one of the major deaths from last year, and while we get why that would be a good idea, it's also kind of cheap.

We'll be honest, though. What we're really waiting to see is whether it can produce a couple of good storylines that weren't lifted almost beat-for-beat from 80's comics. Sometimes we think Chris Claremont should keep an intellectual properties lawyer on retainer.

Heroes (Mondays at 9PM EST) premieres September 22 with a three-hour event starting at 8PM EST on NBC.

TOP TEN RETURNING SHOWS FALL 2008

Top Ten Returning Shows: #7 - "Dirty Sexy Money"

Bryan Christian — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 17:33:00 GMT

First thing's first: we'd watch Peter Krause do his laundry. In Sports Night, Six Feet Under, and this, Krause has proved time and again that he can be a scoundrel in one scene and the heir to Jimmy Stewart's George Bailey in the next -- and always with wit and style to burn. But beyond Krause's central performance, this devilish soap walks a fine line between being a throwback to the days of Dynasty and also a spin on twisted family dramas like SFU -- and we can't help but admire the well-heeled weirdness of the mashing-up.

Of all the returning shows that got cut short by last year's writers strike, DSM -- with its big cast, intertwining plotlines, and slightly disappointing ratings -- might have gotten cut the shortest. Here's hoping that with a full year to unspool its story -- not to mention new cast member Lucy Liu, who, we're not gonna lie, we would also watch doing laundry, assuming it was dirty sexy laundry -- Dirty Sexy Money manages to get comfy in ABC's lineup.

Dirty Sexy Money (Wednesdays at 10 PM EST) premieres Wednesday, October 1, at 10 PM EST on ABC.

TOP TEN RETURNING SHOWS FALL 2008

Top Ten Returning Shows: #8 - "House"

Bryan Christian — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 13:30:00 GMT

Look, we know: it's the same show every week. Somebody gets sick, their bf/gf/spouse demands "the best," House gets called in and promptly insults them, then he tortures his underlings spitballing cures -- three of which wind up to be wrong -- and then at 9 minutes to the hour, somebody says something offhand about something totally unrelated to the mystery malady but part of some sort of personal confession, causing House to stare just off-camera and eureka-ize us into the denouement. Der. We already knew that.

Here's what we don't know: why do we keep watching? Is it really just that Hugh Laurie is so magnetic week after week? 'Cause there aren't *that many* hotties on the show, and the jokes aren't all that great.

Seriously: we need to know the answer. Any chance we can get Dr. House to solve that little mystery?

House (Tuesdays at 8PM EST) premieres September 16 at 8PM on Fox.

TOP TEN RETURNING SHOWS FALL 2008

Top Ten Returning Shows: #9 - "Entourage" / "Californication"

Bryan Christian — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 16:28:00 GMT

We're lumping these together because they've got pretty similar profiles -- shallow, oversexed Hollywood hunks and the misfits and hangers-on who enable them -- and because they're apparently going head-to-head this year, but we have to confess: we watch them for very different reasons. Californication we enjoy (when we do) almost solely for the performance of David Duchovny, whose Hank Moody is unbearable if you take even a second to think about it -- but Duchovny inhabits him which such light, wry line readings and precise comic hesitations that he earns the Hugh Laurie Award for justifying our coming back week after week to a show we're not convinced is all that good.

And as for Entourage, well, we're guessing that you're guessing that we watch that show for Jeremy Piven, but you're only partially right. Yes, Piven's fantastic, as are Kevins Dillon and Connelly. But the real reason we watch is that, in a million subtle ways, it's one of the most technically accomplished tv comedies that we've ever seen. So many jokes are executed in the background or the peripheral of the screen, and the photography is so rich with color and depth, that we find ourselves laughing more when we see it on a good TV -- and that's a rare thing.

All right, we admit it: we also watch these shows 'cause we like boobs. Like that's so wrong.

Entourage (Sundays at 10PM EST) returns Sunday, September 7 at 10PM EST on HBO; Californication (Sundays at 10PM EST) returns Sunday, September 28 at 10PM EST on Showtime.

TOP TEN RETURNING SHOWS FALL 2008

Top Ten Returning Shows: #10 - "The Shield"

Bryan Christian — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 13:31:00 GMT

We admit it -- we are nowhere near caught up with The Shield.

This is unfortunate, because we can't think of a drama more likely to explode in an apocalyptic cacaphony of violence and emotion in its final season this side of network-mate Damages. Not since the final season of Buffy have we been less sure of the survival of the main characters in a series in its final episodes. After 6 years of building bad blood on both sides of the law, Vic Mackey's come closer than ever to giving up his badge -- and he's got one fewer ally on the force -- so we're expecting a hell of a lot of grudges to get worked out this year. So much so that we may not even bother catching up with Season Six, just so we don't miss anything.

The Shield (Tuesdays at 10PM) premieres Tuesday, September 2 at 10 PM EST on the FX Network

TOP TEN RETURNING SHOWS FALL 2008