The Remote Island : US Weekly

Zac Efron: Really? Star of the Year?

Lindy Parker — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 21:30:00 GMT

Listen, it's not like we hate Zac Efron. Sure, the overly disheveled hair gives us pause, but, you know, mostly we feel like he's harmless. But Us Weekly's star of the year? Has he done anything this year besides High School Musical 3 and the movie version of Hairspray? Granted we're not actually sure what criterion Us Weekly uses to determine star of the year -- is it a tabloid thing? The most pictures in Disney Channel Magazine? Most ridiculous abs west of the Mississippi? (Okay, we felt a little cougar-ish on that last one)...

For the record, we're not here to begrudge anyone success, we're just saying if we were forced to pick a celebrity that might be an alien using extraterrestrial mind-control to propel their earthly popularity, Efron would be right behind Tom Cruise on our list of suspects. Maybe that's why Tom's so quick to offer up advice to the HSM stars? Uh huh. Yeah. Just put that in your pipe...

Jenny McCarthy Calls Out John McCain

Lindy Parker — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 13:25:00 GMT

So apparently, Jenny McCarthy's son no longer has autism, which is, you know, awesome. John McCain probably thinks so too -- just not awesome enough to help him win the election...

Jenny didn't hesitate to tell Us Weekly exactly why McCain cancelled his meeting with her:

"We tried. McCain had come out and said he thinks there's enough evidence between vaccines and autism, so I got on a helicopter [to meet him for] an on-camera interview. By the time I got there, the campaign manager said, 'He's ahead in the polls, and this is too controversial, and he doesn't want to go one way or the next.'"   -- Us Weekly

We can't say we blame Jenny really. If we were willing to fly a helicopter somewhere to chat with John McCain about something that mattered to us, and he came back with: "Oh, I don't need to do it now. It doesn't help me politically," we'd make sure everyone knew about it too. It's just a matter of time before people start wearing anti-McCain shirts with autism puns on them. Feel free to submit your suggestions below.

Celebrity Cabbage Patch Match Game. Ha.

Lindy Parker — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 18:00:00 GMT

So, US Weekly started our morning off right with a little game they like to call "Guess the Celebrity Cabbage Patch." In these uncertain times, it's nice to take a little time out to keep our minds sharp and exercise our powers of deduction.

Here are our favorite CP imitators:

Match all the dolls to their TV counterparts here. Go on, you deserve it.

Everybody's Worried About the Skinny Girls of "90210"

Ben Kallen — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 14:25:00 GMT

When the cast of Gossip Girl calls you too thin, you've really got a problem.

But they're not the only ones. Suddenly everyone seems to be worried that the young female stars of the new 90210 are setting an unhealthy example for the show's teen audience.

Let's take a look at what they're all saying:

First on the bandwagon was US Weekly, with a cover story that claimed stars Shenae Grimes (who plays smiley Kansas transplant Annie) and Jessica Stroup (who plays punky "Silver") "are so thin that show producers and costars are poised to take action."

According to the article: " 'They are trying too hard to be skinny, and it's started to wear on them. It's just not healthy,' says a source. 'I've never seen Jessica or Shenae eat,' says another.... So shocking is the situation that their 90210 male costars are contemplating an intervention.... 'The girls were all skinny when they started, but they're definitely thinner now.' "

Our take: It sounds pretty bad, Of course, the story would be more convincing if it didn't come linked to another article in the same issue of US about how great it is that stars like Mariah Carey and Jennifer Love Hewitt have lost a lot of weight. Lesson to the young girls out there: No matter how much you weigh, it's wrong.

Next, Entertainment Weekly's PopWatch blog weighed in with an article that partly blames the CW network for the problem, because they allegedly follow a "thin is in" philosophy:

"One casting agent who works frequently with The CW turns a critical eye on the network itself. 'I know in discussions at ABC and CBS that too skinny is no good. They talk about it as a minus point,' says the agent. 'But at The CW it's a different story. They're trying to pull in the Gossip Girl audience and that's the image: hyper-skinny models.' "

In the same article, a publicist for AnnaLynne McCord, the actress who plays mean girl Naomi and who has also been cited for excessive thinness, insists that she eats anything she wants.

Our take: If the network casts actresses who are naturally thin, that doesn't necessarily mean they're unhealthy -- but viewers might still practice unhealthy eating habits trying to emulate them.

Last but not least, even actor Penn Badgley of the CW's Gossip Girl chimed in on the bony-beauty controversy. According to the entertainment blog PopEater:

"He's heard the swirl about the show's skinny starlets, and [says] that he's 'never been proponent of the thin L.A. girls.' He goes on to tell us that he thinks it's 'healthy' that the females on Gossip Girl 'aren't bone-thin.' He also has solid advice for the 90210 gals: 'I hope they eat a double cheeseburger or something.' "

Our take: Thanks, Penn, that's really helpful! Now if your own show would stop teaching kids they have to be rich to be happy, we're sure everything will work out fine.

Previously:
90210: Bowling for Dollars
Are the CW's Ultra-Rich Kids Destroying Our Nation's Youth?

Jennifer Love Hewitt Was Gonna Lose That Weight Anyway, Dammit!

Bryan Christian — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 14:27:00 GMT

LIsten, y'all, people got a right to get healthier whenever the hell they want. If it happens a few months after some paparazzi shots elicit stupid, dirty comments, que sera sera. But 18 pounds in 10 weeks is not healthy, guys. She probably looks great, but there's a bigger picture here: what if something had gone wrong? Who would have whispered to our freaking ghosts then?

L.A. Police Chief Outs Lindsay Lohan

Ben Kallen — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 17:25:00 GMT

Sure, just about everyone in L.A. gossips about the private lives of celebrities. But maybe it's not such a good idea when you're the chief of police. Above, the city's top law-enforcement officer blames problems caused by paparazzi on badly behaving starlets -- and along the way, describes a certain Ugly Betty guest star's special friendship in different terms than People or US Weekly would even dare to try.

Previously:
Don't Miss the Worst Lindsay Lohan Movie Ever

One More Way To Kill Off Izzie (This Time, Maybe, for Real)

Ben Kallen — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 20:24:00 GMT

Earlier this week, we helpfully suggested 10 ways in which Grey's Anatomy could kill off troublesome actress Katherine Heigl's character Dr. Isobel Stevens. The beautiful star of Knocked Up and 27 Dresses annoyed the show's staff by withdrawing from Emmy consideration last month, later saying she hadn't been given the "material" to warrant a nomination. And while the show's producers denied it, there were whispers that Izzie's end might soon be near.

Of course, we were kind of joking about the whole thing. But now there's word that creator Shonda Rhimes may have actually decided on a method of (possibly) getting rid of the perky underwear model-turned-surgeon. And it's... a brain tumor. (We know -- that's nowhere near as funny as our suggestions.)

According to US Weekly, the show may write the illness into next season's plot line, leaving it up in the air whether or not Izzie survives. "Shonda and the writers are pissed at her,” the source tells US. “It’s their way of screwing with her. She won’t know whether she’s going to live or die.”

Best of all, this will allow the show to bring back actor Jeffrey Dean Morgan in the role of Denny Duquette, the heart patient Izzie fell for -- and whose demise she may have hastened in an attempt to move him up on the transplant list, making her the worst doctor in the world. Izzie will interact with Denny in tumor-induced visions, kind of the same way the guy on Eli Stone keeps running into George Michael. The magazine says that ABC has confirmed that Morgan will be returning to the show.

We did get one thing right.... Another source tells the magazine that if this storyline happens, Heigl will finally have some Emmy-worthy material. Hope she remembers to submit her name this time around!

Photo: ABC

Previously:
Top 10 Ways Grey's Anatomy Should Kill Off Izzie