The Remote Island : Ugly Betty

"Ugly Betty's" Welcome Back Ratings: Good, But Not Great

Lindy Parker — Fri, 01 May 2009 19:00:00 GMT

Ugly Betty finally returned to ABC last night -- much to our delight -- and the ratings just prove the point we've long been making, which is: Ugly Betty may not be as good as it once was, but it's still better than In the Motherhood...

ABC's Ugly Betty returned from hiatus Thursday night...ABC won the night despite its first hour being a drag on the ticket -- Betty (6.8 million viewers, 2.0 preliminary adults 18-49 rating). The dramedy came in fourth place at 8 p.m. and landed in the same ratings ballpark as in the weeks leading up to ABC replacing the show. Though Betty still has a shaggy rating, it's outperformed the comedies ABC recently tried in the slot. (The Live Feed)

We feel like part of the problem might be lack of hype. Are we the only ones who haven't seen an Ugly Betty promo in recent memory? Whereas, we're seeing Grey's Anatomy and Lost promos every five seconds both on TV and in the movie theater. We could be wrong, here -- maybe we're just not watching at the right time or whatever, but it just seems from where we're sitting, if ABC put a little more gas in the Ugly Betty promotion tank, they could get somewhere.

Previously:

Ugly Betty Webisodes To Keep Us Warm During the Cold, Lonely Hiatus

ABC Heard Our Prayers: "Ugly Betty" Will Return

Hope for "Ugly Betty" Now That Christine Baranski Joins The Cast?

Dear ABC: First Pushing Daisies and Now Ugly Betty? Really?

"Ugly Betty" Will Appear Early; "Samantha Who" And "In The Motherhood" Will Disappear [VIDEO]

Jake Kalish — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 19:12:00 GMT

ABC is bringing out its big guns. And, um, throwing its little guns in the river where no one will ever find them...

"Ugly Betty" fans will be happy to learn that ABC has decided to bring it back to its lineup one week earlier than had been planned.

The show will return April 30 with Betty (America Ferrera, pictured) still having a crush on Matt, and Wilhelmina (Vanessa Williams) wondering if William is her biological son. The move means that "Samantha Who?"-- which has been struggling in the ratings since the writers strike -- will go off the air indefinitely, along with new comedy "In the Motherhood," which has been plagued with behind-the-scenes problems for months, according to sources.

No more In The Motherhood? But that show's name totally sounds like a sexual euphemism! The real news here. of course, is what's happening, or rather isn't happening, with Samantha Who?, starring cigarette-smoking double-mastectomy survivor Christina Applegate. Samantha Who? has been in limbo forever, and now seems to be on life support. If we don't see Samantha Who? again, we fondly hope Christina Applegate will reappear, and soon, on our televisions. Until then, we may be left watching this Kelly Bundy tribute over and over:

PREVIOUSLY:

"Ugly Betty" Webisodes To Keep Us Warm During The Cold, Lonely Hiatus [VIDEO]

ABC Heard Our Prayers -- "Ugly Betty" Will Return

ABC's New Sitcom "In The Motherhood" Sounds Like A Sexual Euphemism

"Samantha Who?" Is Now "Samantha When?"

Cancer Survivor Christina Applegate Lights Up, We All Lose Our Minds

Our Trip To "Hannah Montana: The Movie"

Lindy Parker — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 20:00:00 GMT

Yes, fine, we saw it. You're not really surprised are you? Just for the record, we were not the only ones...

Disney's second film based on its mega-hit TV-and-music franchise opened to $34 million, surpassing estimates of most Hollywood insiders who had pegged it to open in the $20-million range," reports the Los Angeles Times.
Miley Cyrus' previous feature-film release, " Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert Tour," released in early 2008, grossed $70 million worldwide ($65 million in the U.S.). (Los Angeles Times)

Since we assume not everyone will make time for a little trip to the theater this week, we've drawn up a little pro-con list for your convenience:

Pro: Vanessa Williams as Hannah's ruthless, couture-wearing publicist...

Actually, our enjoyment may have had something to do with the fact that at times, V. Williams' Hannah Montana role was weirdly indistinguishable from her character on Ugly Betty.

Con: The plot centers around a piece of land in Crawley Corners that's about to be developed into a strip-mall-and-condo-monstrosity because the townsfolk can't afford the taxes. Miley has to save the day by hosting a benefit concert as Hannah, and putting her secret identity at risk. Question: Why can't Hannah just pay the taxes herself and call it a day?

Pro: Getting chastised by the eight year old sitting next to us for not knowing the name of the pop princess singing on the soundtrack -- "Her name's Tiffani! God!"

Con: We're not sure we were prepared for a Billy Ray Cyrus romance. Yikes.

Pro: The Non-Hannah Music -- Rascal Flatts (as Miley's uncles) sitting around on a porch with guitars singing "Bless The Broken Road" was kind of awesome. Really, and we don't even like Rascal Flatts. Also, the a capella Billy Ray/Miley duet was oddly affecting...

We hate ourselves for saying that.

Con: There was something vaguely creepy about Miley's cowboy love interest...

Funny, that's kind of the same reaction we have to Miley's actual boyfriends.

Pro: OMG, we love these boots...

Con: That's about where the outfit envy ends...

Bonus Con: Apparently, the filmmakers didn't find it necessary to sync Miley's mouth to the lyrics during the benefit concert. Like not even close.

Previously:

Tyra Banks in the Hannah Montana Movie [VIDEO]

Check Out The Hannah Montana Movie Trailer

Dolly Parton Snubbed By Hannah Montana?

How Old is Too Old For Hannah Montana?

"Ugly Betty" Webisodes To Keep Us Warm During the Cold, Lonely Hiatus [VIDEO]

Lindy Parker — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 19:30:00 GMT

Ugly Betty, how we miss you. Let us count the ways. ABC will never convince us In The Motherhood is funny enough to justify this loss. Luckily, ABC seems to know they've done us wrong. They seem appropriately chagrined, and have granted us a balm for the wound inflicted by our tiresome Betty-less Thursdays -- new webisodes on ABC.com. And they're funny with a capital F...

Sigh. We feel a bit better now. Thanks ABC -- although really, it was the least you could do.

Watch all the webisodes on ABC.com!

Previously:

ABC Heard Our Prayers: "Ugly Betty" Will Return

Hope for "Ugly Betty" Now That Christine Baranski Joins The Cast?

Dear ABC: First Pushing Daisies and Now Ugly Betty? Really?

Ugly Betty on Hold?

Rebecca Romijn Is A Witch

Jake Kalish — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 14:40:00 GMT

Or at least she will be.

Mrs. Fat Kid has signed on to star in the ABC drama pilot Eastwick, based on the 1987 flick The Witches Of Eastwick, which was itself based on the John Updike novel of the same name.

Rebecca Romijn as a witch? Well, it's a hell of a lot more believable than her as a trannie.

Let's Talk About Sex With Ralph Macchio

Lindy Parker — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 22:15:00 GMT

Okay, so when Ralph Macchio first turned up on Ugly Betty, we were like "OMG. Karate Kid! Good to see you!" However, rumor has it we might be seeing more of him than we ever expected...

In case you haven't been keeping up, Ralph guest-starred as councilman Archie Rodriguez earlier in the season in some very flirty, very high-chemistry scenes with Ana Ortiz's character, Betty's big sis Hilda Suarez, that left viewers (including us!) dying to have the pair hook up.
"Well, you know the title of the second episode is 'The Sex Issue.' It's surprising for both of them where it goes." Umm...to the bedroom?!? "It might. It might go into the salon; it could go anywhere," he says. "Things get revealed about the councilman's past, too. There's another side to him that conjures up excitement and passion in her." (E! Online)

Honestly, we're significantly less interested in his vague teases, than we are in this revelation: the original karate kid is 48 years old.

Let us say that again. He's 48. For some reason, we're having a hard time getting our head around this as an actual truth. We suppose it's because in our minds, we'd previously grouped him as a peer of Leonardo DiCaprio, Christian Bale and us. But, in fact, he could have fathered all three of us.

Other people Ralph Macchio could have fathered:

Drew Barrymore
Neil Patrick Harris
James Van der Beek

People Ralph Macchio just barely escaped fathering:

Jon Hamm
Ben Affleck
Taye Diggs

Peers of Ralph Macchio:

Bob Saget
Jon Stewart
Keith Olberman
Our Dad
Kiefer Sutherland

ABC Heard Our Prayers -- "Ugly Betty" Will Return

Lindy Parker — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 18:30:00 GMT

We can all breathe a collective sigh of relief that Ugly Betty will not be banished from ABC's lineup in favor of a parade of new sitcoms...

Despite the, ahem, perception problem that resulted from that whole open-ended hiatus thing, ABC is on the verge of renewing Ugly Betty for a fourth season, sources confirm to me exclusively. (Ausiello Files)

Thank you, ABC. That was the right decision.

Previously:

Ugly Betty on Hold?

Dear ABC, First Pushing Daisies, And Now Ugly Betty? Really?

No More TV in NYC? What's a "Gossip Girl" To Do?

Lindy Parker — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 19:00:00 GMT

When we first saw this NY Mag headline, we were like, "What? What about Law and Order? Gossip Girl? Ugly Betty? Flight of the Conchords? TRL? The Tyra Banks Show?!! What's HAPPENING to our lives?!" Then we got a hold of ourselves and read the rest of the article...

For anyone who's ever had their car towed because of Gossip Girl, there's good news today: Thanks to New York's used-up tax credits for TV production, no fall pilots are being shot in the city this year (nineteen were shot here last year). (NY Magazine)

So we can all calm down. It seems it's largely new pilots that have been affected, but it does make us ponder what life would be like if this had happened two years ago, and the Gossip Girl pilot had never been shot. Life without Gossip Girl? Put that in you pipe...

Hope For "Ugly Betty"? Christine Baranski Joins the Cast

Lindy Parker — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 16:21:00 GMT

Ugly Betty may have announced their upcoming hiatus, but apparently there are still some casting surprises in the works...

The Emmy winner will play the high society mother of Betty's new love interest, Matt (Daniel Eric Gold), in a minimum of three episodes. Baranski, who just wrapped a stint as the woman who spawned Johnny Galecki's Leonard on CBS' The Big Bang Theory (airing Feb. 9), is slated to show up in mid-March, right around the time Betty starts warming the bench for ABC. (Ausiello Files)

Yay! We love Christine Baranski in all her sassy, Hepburn-y glory. This has to be a good sign, right? If Ugly Betty is still casting people, can they really be on their way out?

Previously:

Dear ABC: First Pushing Daisies and Now Ugly Betty? Really?

Ugly Betty on Hold?

Dear ABC: First "Pushing Daisies", And Now "Ugly Betty"? Really?

Bryan Christian — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 22:31:00 GMT

Fact: before Lost, Damages, and a few other shows came back, we kept the last 4 aired episodes of Pushing Daisies in rotation on our DVR for, like, ever. We didn't even like that episode with Orlando Jones as a Norwegian investigator! It was just that, after the writing was on the wall for Ned and Chuck and Olive and Emerson, we wanted to have them near us as long as possible between then and the HURRY UP, PEOPLE eventual DVD release.

But of course, eventually we had to free up some space on the ol' hard drive, and so we said goodbye to the gang, and surfed around hoping to find something that would fill the -- well, if not the same gaping hole in our heart, than at least a similar one. Something that would whimsically and colorfully deal with the darker side of life, that would wittily and endearingly detail the faults of its characters and still make us like them. Something with a similarly swooning camera, a razor-sharp, skillful cast, and a flawless sense of timing.

What we found, of course, was Ugly Betty, which we'd always sort of liked but, in the wake of Pushing Daisies' passing offered many of the same goofy, mournful tendencies that we'd come to love so much. Two years after everyone else, we caught Betty fever.

And now, ABC has decided to shelve Betty until at least the summer.

So, ABC, we gotta ask -- just what the hell are we supposed to do now? Are you trying to make us crazy? Are you trying to destroy the chances for every decently told fairy tale on network TV? And by the way, what does it say about your plans to adapt Fables, the fairy tale comic book, into an hourly drama that sounded to us like, um, basically a combo of both shows with a dash more "happily ever after."

More importantly, ABC -- after cruelly ripping Anna Friel out of our loving gaze, what the heck are we supposed to do with this newly developed crush on Becki Newton?

Thanks for nothing, jerks.

PREVIOUSLY:

"Ugly Betty" On Hold?

Our Pushing Daisies archive

"Ugly Betty" On Hold?

Lindy Parker — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 14:20:00 GMT

You know how people say you never really know how much you love something until it's gone? Well, the truth is we haven't watched an episode of Ugly Betty since midway through the second season, but we admit, we felt weirdly panicked at the news that it might be cancelled...

In a surprising move, ABC just announced that its former comedic golden child, Ugly Betty, will be shelved on March 26 in order to bring back Christina Applegate's Samantha Who? and launch a new comedy called In the Motherhood, starring Megan Mullally and Cheryl Hines, in the Thursday 8 p.m. slot. (E! Online)

We're not sure how we feel about this move -- Will it really be worth losing Ugly Betty to bring more attention to Samantha Who?

"Ugly Betty" Can Quit Hiding Rebecca Romijn Behind Things

Bryan Christian — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 20:24:00 GMT

Congrats to Rebecca Romijn-NotStamos and Jerry NotFat O'Connell, who are now the proud parents of what we imagine are two of the leaniest, toothiest babies in Hollywood. We look forward to seeing Rebecca's torso again when she returns to Ugly Betty, and pretty much anytime she's putting it out there, but we confess that we will miss the subtle, unintended comedy that arose when the show's directors threw computers, handbags, and co-stars between her supposedly-born-a-dude belly and the camera. Would we have liked for the show to just go all Thomas Beatie? Well, sure, but whatevs. Best to the happy family!

Lauren "La Guerta" Velez of "Dexter" Will Be On "Ugly Betty"

Jake Kalish — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 14:48:00 GMT

Whoa, Lt. La Guerta on Ugly Betty? What did Betty do? She always looked like a killer to us, hiding innocently behind those braces, glasses, and technicolor tights. Investigate her! And then Dexter could get up on that show, and try to kill Betty! That would be excellent! Hmmm, what? Actor, not character? Velez will be playing a nurse? Velez no es La Guerta? No comprendo. Sounds like a dirty trick. Get 'em both, Dexter!

PREVIOUSLY:

Our Ugly Betty Archive

Our Dexter Archive

ABC Commits to "Fables"

Lindy Parker — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 20:00:00 GMT

We admit it, we love a comic book show. So, we couldn't be more psyched to hear that ABC has committed to producing a series based on the "Fables" comics created by Bill Willmingham which follow the lives of classic fairy tale characters "living in exile in modern-day New York City."

"The network has handed out a pilot commitment to the fantasy project, based on the comic book published by DC's Vertigo imprint. [Writers] Zicherman and Metzner wouldn't elaborate which fairy tale characters will be featured in the TV series, but noted that Big Bad Wolf and Snow White, who are central to the comics, will have a similar role on the show." (Yahoo News)

We think this idea is kind of genius actually. If done well, it could be everything we wish Terry Gilliam's The Brother's Grimm had been but wasn't.

“Ugly Betty” Star Wants to Dress You Down

Olivia Purnell — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 19:30:00 GMT

Yup, little Justin Suarez is taking his style to the streets of America . . .

Adorable actor Mark Indelicato is working on a new clothing line. And he tells New York Magazine that his character, Justin Suarez’s fashion sense (and possibly his persona?) will play into the development of said line:

“I want to do a jeans line for boys and girls that are sometimes too skinny to fit into jeans, or sometimes a little bit too husky to fit into some jeans,” Indelicato told us at the New York City Ballet opening last night. “And I think that it’s a great idea to start a jeans line by a boy that I play, who is fashionable all the time.” (nymag.com)

Um, so the line will be by Justin Suarez? Or co-designed by a Suarez-Indelicato team? Interesting.

Either way, Mark/Justin has also been working on a line of dresses with designer Michelle Yin. He hopes to see his yet to be named line in affordable stores like Target and Walmart, before expanding into posh shops like Bergdorf Goodman.

OMG Dawson, Is That You?

Olivia Purnell — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 19:20:00 GMT

That’s our reaction every time we see a photo of James Van Der Beek. Then we wonder what he’s up to these days. Do you?

Well wonder no more. James is coming back to television. And we’re not talking about his guest roles on Ugly Betty and How I Met Your Mother, or his upcoming spot on One Tree Hill.

Dawson’s got himself a full time gig . . .

James Van Der Beek will be starring in Fox’s pilot Eva Adams. The Hollywood Reporte r says:

The hourlong project, from writer/executive producer Kevin Falls and Sony TV, is set at a sports agency and centers on Adam, an egotistic sexist agent who, under a witch's spell, turns into a beautiful woman so he can endure the harassment he's been dishing out.

Van Der Beek will play Connor, a former frat boy who is a good friend of Adam's and an agent at the firm. Denman will play another agent, Paul, a single dad reeling from a devastating divorce.

If you just can’t wait for Eva Adams, you can get your Van Der Beek fix when he appears on One Tree Hill this season. Or rent Varsity Blues, and watch Dawson do Texas while you surreptitiously stare at Paul Walker, wondering how you could get him to play your field. No? Just us?

Previously

Bizarre Come Back of the Week, James Van Der Beek On “One Tree Hill”

Is ABC Playing It Straight?

Olivia Purnell — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 19:23:00 GMT

Yesterday we reported that Brooke Smith, the actress who plays Dr. Erica Hahn, was let go (yes, actually fired, kids) from the cast of Grey’s Anatomy. Brooke was dismissed just as the burgeoning relationship between doctors Erica Hahn and Callie Torres was beginning to flourish. Erica and Callie’s love thang is the first and only gay relationship on the show. Apparently the higher-ups (possibly including Rhimes herself), didn’t like the direction their courtship was taking.

Jezebel’s Dodai echoes our sentiments asking: “doesn't it seem like Grey's Anatomy missed out on an opportunity to make some truly groundbreaking television?”

Why yes, Dodai, yes it does. Even more than missing an opportunity to break barriers, this sudden change in Grey’s lineup seems to speak to an overarching shift . . .

TV Guide suggests that Erica’s abrupt departure is part of a larger trend in the ABC universe:

If one looks at a pattern of recent story "twists" across ABC: Ugly Betty last season introduced with much fanfare Rebecca Romijn as a post-op transgender; now she's gone. Right out of the gate, Dirty Sexy Money lathered things up by pairing aspiring politician Patrick with a great transgender love; last week, she walked out of his life. So Grey's writing out a full-fledged lesbian such as Erica — versus the simply lez-curious Callie — would seem to fit this pattern. Meanwhile, gay males such as Brothers & Sisters' Kevin appear to go unpestered... at least for now.

Is heteronormativity rearing its ugly ugly head in ABC land? In the case of Grey's Anatomy, the answer from TV critics and bloggers is a resounding yes. Entertainment Weekly's Michael Slezak says:

Brooke Smith's Grey's Anatomy ouster is not right and not okay… Was it the lesbianism they objected to, or the fact that Dr. Hahn didn't bake muffins or decorate lockers or act generally flighty-flaky-cutesy or hook up with hot male colleagues to help her sort out her sexual orientation? Yeah, you could say I'm outraged.

Although outrage may seem a little strong, Dr. Hahn was one of the secondary characters keeping the Grey's Anatomy ship afloat. In addition to being ground-breaking, the storyline between Callie and Erica was interesting and engaging (moreso than most of the hetero-storylines the show has to offer this season). So, in addition to being unfair and arguably bigoted, Dr. Hahn's write-off was flat-out silly, and, we'll say it, outrageous.

Previously:

Dr. Erica Hahn Gets Booted From "Grey's Anatomy"

The Weekly Rewind: Seriously, Is This Election Over Yet?

Ben Kallen — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 21:30:00 GMT

Nope, not yet! TV's still all about politics -- and, on the other hand, distracting ourselves from politics -- as we'll find out when we recall the highlights of the week.

We watched hot Sarah Palin on SNL, and she was funnier than the average guest host. Coming soon: Ellen Show dancer Barack Obama. Too bad one of these two will be elected soon -- we smell comedy team! (Don't forget to add this guy.)

Opie Cunningham came back through time from 30-plus years ago! (To, um, tell us how to vote today.)

We watched the season premiere of 30 Rock -- before it aired on TV! The Internet is cool.

We heard that someone still doesn't like the looks of Dancing With the Stars' Cheryl Burke. Someone crazy.

...Or else maybe Dancing is cursed.

We set Lance Bass against Joey Fatone, and Dwight against Gareth. Remember, no talking about Fight Club!

We heard that Lindsay Lohan's having problems -- and this time, it's personal.

We saw the new CSI tech naked, which probably means she'll be murdered off soon.

We heard that William Shatner got into a spat with George Takei. Did you know they used to work together?

Just like Desmond, we predicted what's going to happen next on Lost.

We saw a preview of 50 Cent's new show, and it was kind of like business school. Heck, the guy's name is money.

We got mad at Fringe for being too much like other shows, but then realized that without other shows, it wouldn't be about anything.

What the hell, AMC? You say you're bringing back Mad Men, but neither the creator nor the actors have contracts yet? Is that any way to treat the best show on TV?

We wondered why anyone would want to dress like this lady anyway.

More Dexter, yay! More Knight Rider -- huh?

We saw Se cond Becky give a loud kiss-off to Ted on How I Met Your Mother. We love ya, sister, but please do not get back with J.D. on Scrubs.

And we noticed that House and Gray's Anatomy have figured out what we really want in a medical series: girl-on-girl action.

But not this kind.

Previously:
The Weekly Rewind: Everyone's a Comedian

Did Lindsay Lohan Get Kicked Off "Ugly Betty" for Lack of Underwear?

Ben Kallen — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 18:20:00 GMT

Oh, c'mon, you knew we'd be writing that headline eventually.

Actually, all that happened was that Lindsay's stint on Ugly Betty was shortened from six episodes to four. But if the show was willing to toss out such a big-name guest star, there must have been a good reason. Unfortunately, so one seems to agree on what that reason was.

Per Page Six, here are the charges against LiLo, and the responses from one of her "people" -- plus a preview clip from tonight's episode, so you can decide for yourself.

Charge: One episode, titled "Granny Pants," was about how Lohan, playing Betty's high school nemesis, would "de-pants" [America] Ferrera. But Ferrera exacts her revenge and pulls down Lohan's pants instead. "Lindsay wasn't wearing any underwear," the source said.

Response: A Lohan pal fumed, "Bull [bleep]! Lindsay wears underwear all the time now. She was wearing a G-string. And it was America's fault. They were rehearsing the scene and America wasn't supposed to pull Lindsay's pants down -- but she did. Lindsay was so embarrassed, she started crying."

We say: Um, Lindsay wears underwear all the time now? And on a day when they were rehearsing a pants-down scene, she decided to sport a G-string? As much as we love LiLo, it doesn't sound as if embarrassment is an emotion with which she's overly familiar.

Charge: One production source said... "Lindsay would show up every day with an entourage of people. She smoked 24/7, and after she left, they had to repaint her dressing room it was such a mess."

Response: As for the dressing room, Lohan's pal said it was also used by the cast of the Fox sci-fi thriller Fringe. "So maybe they messed it up. And an entourage? Yeah, she had her sober companion with her, as well as her manager, assistant and [girlfriend] Samantha Ronson. Her publicist was there a couple of times. But so what?"

We say: Hey, Ugly Betty, you guys hired Lindsay Lohan to be on your show. This sounds like awfully minor-league stuff, and if you'd read any of the 70 million tabloid articles about her, you should have expected much worse. Besides, those nerds from Fringe probably do walk around with special-effects goo on their fingers all day.

Charge: Lohan "would obsessively cut pictures of herself out of the tabloids like she was creating some sort of scrapbook and refused to go on set until America was there -- it was a power play."

Response: The pal blames Ferrera for any issues, saying, "America was mean to Lindsay. Producers give her too much power. Lindsay didn't do the last two episodes because America didn't like her and got her kicked off."

Response to the response: Ferrera's rep would only say, "America is grateful to have had her on the show and thinks everyone should tune in to see how great the episodes are."

We say: When two female stars are together, someone will always claim there was a nasty catfight. Is Lindsay kind of a diva, and is America protective of the show that currently represents her entire non-Traveling Pants career? Probably. Who cares?

Still, if Lindsay were smart, she'd hire away America's rep, who seems awesome.

Update: One more possible reason for the dumpola, according to EOnline: The main driving force for this decision is that Lindsay was not gelling creatively with the series. "She was not so interested in creating a character," another reliable insider close to Betty tells me. "She was more interested in just playing herself, and that doesn't work on a show like this with such heightened reality."

We say: Once again -- they hired Lindsay Lohan, the star of I Know Who Killed Me. If you want thespianism, see if Meryl Streep's available.

Below, a scene featuring Lohan's acting ability, or lack thereof, from tonight's episode (directed by Fred Savage!):

Photo: ABC

Previously:
L.A. Police Chief Outs Lindsay Lohan
Ugly Betty Block Party

Wake Up And Smile: Salma Hayek Latest Guest Star To Slowly Ruin "30 Rock"

Bryan Christian — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 13:21:00 GMT

Is she gonna play a shark? 'Cause we're starting to think that show might need one soon.

PLUS: more on Hef and Holly's breakup, Wanda Sykes, Damages, Weezer's new record-breaking video, and a shocking new discovery about Mad Men!

-- OK, so no, we haven't seen any of the new season of 30 Rock, but dammit all, we don't care how much we love Salma Hayek (who is apparently the latest celebrity signed for a guest appearance this year), a show with this many guest stars isn't episodic television. It's an awards show. Lose the guest stars and give Pete something to do, Tina Fey!

-- Hugh Hefner is confirming that he and Holly Madison are on the outs -- though weirdly he also confirms that they're still filming The Girls Next Door.

-- How cute is Rose Byrne? So cute, she hangs out with her dead fiancee from Damages! That's cute and morbid!

-- Wanda Sykes and Hilary Duff are appearing in new anti-homophobia PSA's, in regards to which Defamer refers to Sykes as "extermely so gay". Wait, is she really gay? Guess we figured she still had a thing for Pootie Tang...

-- Not that it would ever be played on MTV, which has foresaken music in favor of douchery, but Weezer's new video "Troublemaker" is fairly impressive for the number of Guiness world records broken during its filming, so we thought you might like a peek at LAist's behind the scenes pics. No, we don't know why the f Rivers Cuomo looks like that.

-- Don't freak out, but it turns that the immaculately designed Mad Men may have a few font anachronisms. We know; ruined!

TV Orgy Tonight!

Ben Kallen — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 21:20:00 GMT

Er, we mean an orgy of TV, not an orgy on TV. But a huge number of new episodes and season premieres will be happening this evening. Here's what's in store for you, your couch and your TiVo:

ABC: Ugly Betty She'll have to decide between her two boyfriends, and maybe find out how many more years those braces need to stay on.

ABC: Grey's Anatomy Now that Dr. McDreamy and Dr. McSkinny are back together, Nurse McNobody turns out to be... well, it's kind of a spoiler, even though it's been in every ad for the past three weeks. Hope all the talking about it won't distract them from their complicated medical procedures, like always!

CBS: Survivor: Gabon Host Jeff Probst is worried about how he'll look now that the show's going high-def. Dude, you're not the one who's going to end up 30 pounds lighter and covered in filth. As for the contestants, we hope they've read this.

NBC: My Name Is Earl Seth Green alert! This show may not seem so new and fresh anymore, but it sure gets good guest stars. Plotwise, we think Earl's still working on that list or something.

NBC: The Office Woo-hoo! Amy Ryan's back, Michael's still nuts, Jim and Pam still can't put together a decent PB&J, and we can't wait.

NBC: ER Bad stuff happens! It's the last season! We haven't watched this show in years!

CW: Smallville Last week, Clark applied for a job at a major metropolitan newspaper and they made him a reporter, just like that! Did he even finish college? Don't they know blogs are where it's at these days? And when did Chloe become the hottest character on this show?

CW: Supernatural Spooky! (That's all we got.)

Fox: Kitchen Nightmares Our nightmare is that some jerkwad chef came over to our place and screamed for an hour, but that's just us.

PBS: American Masters: The Warner Brothers These guys went to Hollywood, and 100 years later they made The Matrix. Good times.

"Ugly Betty" Block Party

Olivia Purnell — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 20:25:00 GMT

We didn’t think we could heart Ugly Betty anymore than we already do . . .

We love America Ferrera and those big bulky braces they put her in. Her awkwardness and general gaucherie are pitch perfect. Vanessa Williams couldn’t be more stunning. Rebecca Romijn is an amazing transsexual boss lady. We didn’t think our Michael Boltonesque love could grow stronger until we found out that the Betty producers are in the business of throwing block parties:

Francois Guerrier, a Jackson Heights resident, tells The New York Times all about it:

In recent months, as "Ugly Betty" has moved its operations to New York, he said he has been impressed by efforts of producers to cultivate good relations in the area – a block party given by the show in July in front of Mr. Guerrier’s home was attended by Ms. Ferrera.

Oh, really. Jackson Heights, you say. Block Party, huh? America was there? Betty producers, we have a very important question. How do we get invited?

Jimmy Kimmel vs. Salma Hayek: The Musical

Ben Kallen — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 15:25:00 GMT

Last night's pre-Emmy show, Jimmy Kimmel's Big Night of Stars, was exactly like one of those Barbara Walters specials, except even more ridiculous. By far the best part was his interview with, and failed seduction of, the gorgeous actress and Ugly Betty producer Salma Hayek.

It all ended up in a big star-studded musical number, featuring Jennifer Esposito (Samantha Who?), Sofia Vergara (The Knights of Prosperity), Kimmel chum Adam Carolla (Dancing With the Stars) and, for some reason, Kevin James (The King of Queens). (And was that Maroon 5's Adam Levine on guitar? Sure, why not.)

The whole thing was funny, so take a look:

Previously:
Gentlemen, Sarah Silverman Is Single Again
Foxy Private Practice Star Was on Jimmy Kimmel Last Week. In a Towel

The Weekly Rewind: Baby, We Love Your Way

Ben Kallen — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 21:29:00 GMT

In the warmth of midsummer, here at The Remote Island our thoughts turned to the celebrities we love.

We heard that beautiful, sensible young Topanga is all grown up and ready to steal our jobs. And so, apparently, is A.C. Slater.

We learned that Lisa Bonet and Gretchen Mol will be joining the cast of Life on Mars -- a show that had better be good, or the sheer wastefulness of it all will make us sad.

We watched the appealing, flawed, doomed people of Mad Men celebrate Valentine's Day in 1961, then attempt to pick up new fans in Grand Central Station.

We learned that someone on Ugly Betty is going to start dating Kelly Ripa's handsome husband -- and we don't mean Regis.

We listened as lovely Lindsay Lohan got a special shout-out from the chief of police.

We got jealous when we saw Dave Letterman and Agent Scully making out. But we thought those kids from Gossip Girl should get a room.

We watched 10,000 beautiful and graceful Chinese performers at the Olympics, even though we weren't supposed to.

We watched Dr. Horrible for the 20th time, and put it on the site so you could, too. Then we watched Felicia Day's new project -- or maybe we were just watching Felicia Day.

We saw Sharon Osbourne try to check under the hood of an Ozzy impersonator to make sure it wasn't really her husband.

We were shocked to hear that Brooke Hogan doesn't vote, then decided it's probably for the best.

We were surprised to hear that Torchwood's John Barrowman is in talks to play Captain America, then decided no one would mind.

We saw a Judge Judy plaintiff hang on to her wits, and her clothes, in the midst of the L.A. earthquake -- which is more than we can say for these Big Brother contestants.

We didn't know what to think about J.Lo and that hooker lady's respective future plans, but we wished them well.

And we decided that the best way to end the week would be to hear Lisa Bonet sing -- in a French-dubbed clip from High Fidelity, naturally.

Previously:
The Weekly Rewind: Endless Summer

L.A. Police Chief Outs Lindsay Lohan

Ben Kallen — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 17:25:00 GMT

Sure, just about everyone in L.A. gossips about the private lives of celebrities. But maybe it's not such a good idea when you're the chief of police. Above, the city's top law-enforcement officer blames problems caused by paparazzi on badly behaving starlets -- and along the way, describes a certain Ugly Betty guest star's special friendship in different terms than People or US Weekly would even dare to try.

Previously:
Don't Miss the Worst Lindsay Lohan Movie Ever

"Ugly Betty": Hot is the New Pretty

Lindy Parker — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 16:25:00 GMT

Word is Mark Consuelos will join the cast of Ugly Betty in the upcoming season. We're sort of psyched on this news -- Freddy Rodriguez is just not getting it done for us in the "Crush of the Week" department. Possibly, Mark and Betty will have a torrid affair in which Mark impregnates Betty, hijinx ensue for multiple seasons, and culminate in an inevitable series finale in which Henry and Betty get married and agree to raise their separate love children under one loving roof, producing TV's smallest, bi-lingual Brady Bunch. Dare to dream.