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 This is a strange question to me, for several reasons. One is that I have no idea what "traditional feminine" sexual behaviors are -- do any of us? So very little has been kept in our history of women about these things and I don't know if we can trust what there is. I do believe that a fair amount of old pornography -- medieval into Victorian and even beyond -- was written by women under male pseudonyms, and it's extremely hard-core and often very rough-edged. If you mean submissiveness, or silence, I don't know that these are feminine in any way. I don't know that there are distinct gender differences in sexual behavior except for the obvious big one: orgasm-directed versus a more global orgasm-plus approach. It does seem that men and women tend to make love differently, but I've met exceptions to the rule on both sides. I think it is interesting, too, that you add the caveat "perhaps even enjoy" to this question. I don't know about the rest of you, but it's been a long time indeed since I did anything sexually that I didn't enjoy -- other, that is, than trying something new for the first time and deciding once was enough, which is enjoyable in itself. When I was a whole lot younger, I had sexual encounters I didn't really want; I put up with some things I didn't like and didn't ask for some things I did. I think we all do this -- women perhaps more than men. But for many years I've done, asked for, refused, etcetera exactly what I want in bed. There have been times when this meant pushing past fears to try something my partner wanted to try -- or something I wanted to try -- and sometimes being too fearful. But I "enjoy" shifting these boundaries. So I would have to say that there is no need to reconcile for me now. Once upon a time, I thought to be a feminist meant to eliminate all thoughts of submission. I couldn't -- I didn't. I enjoy submissive postures and play sometimes -- I don't see it as an issue or anything needing analysis anymore. I've really become quite comfortable with the fact that our fantasy life is not to be made real necessarily, that both fantasy and real sexual behaviors partake of a great many things -- physical, emotional, psychological, spiritual -- and can't be readily deconstructed. Simply accepting the complexity of my own sexuality made a lot of those early concerns disappear. Now it just is what it is and I don't spend too much time wondering exactly why I'm so continually attracted to soft butch women with short hair or why I sometimes cry during sex and other times start giggling or why it's all so silly and absurd at times and sometimes so tragic. Or even why the strangest images come into my head in the middle of driving to the grocery store! I just know that sometimes I need to pull over and park. |
Question 1 Susie Bright Betty Dodson Nancy Friday Daphne Merkin Sallie Tisdale Question 2 Susie Bright Betty Dodson Nancy Friday Daphne Merkin Sallie Tisdale Question 3 Susie Bright Betty Dodson Nancy Friday Daphne Merkin Sallie Tisdale Question 4 Susie Bright Betty Dodson Nancy Friday Daphne Merkin Sallie Tisdale Question 5 Susie Bright Betty Dodson Nancy Friday Daphne Merkin Sallie Tisdale Question 6 Susie Bright Betty Dodson Nancy Friday Daphne Merkin Sallie Tisdale |
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