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| Loni Anderson, actress |
He Climbed On, He Climbed Off |
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We eloped to Sioux Falls, South Dakota, because you could have a blood test in the morning and get married that same afternoon.
Our wedding night was one of the great disasters in the history of sex on this planet. I had always been this teeny girl who couldn't even wear a tampon. I looked at Bruce and thought, there is no way there is ever going to be sexual intercourse in our life. But at a moment like that, "Get away from me!" isn't particularly effective. We made a clumsy attempt at lovemaking, and afterward I pushed him away from me. It was painful and embarrassing, and not at all like the tender and romantic wedding night I had dreamed of.
For someone who had been passing herself off as a woman of the world, I knew hardly anything at all about the physical act of sex, and what little I did know was useless. And Bruce, for all the impression he gave of a worldly young man, didn't know much either. He had no idea how to be gentle or understanding, or how to slow down, or how to help me not be afraid. The guy climbed on, and then the guy climbed off. (Sioux Falls, S.D., 1963)
from My Life in High Heels by Loni Anderson, with Larkin Warren (William Morrow, © 1995)
© 2000 Nerve.com, Inc.
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