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| Betty Friedan, feminist/author |
Cold Calculation |
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Home for Christmas vacation, I went to Chicago for a few days to talk to Franz Alexander, pioneer in the theory of psychosomatic illness, about my thesis, and to use the university library. My friend Paul Jordan was a medical student now at the University of Chicago. He was no longer going steady with Harriet. After dinner, we went back up to my hotel room and he started to make love to me. We were no longer just good friends. I didn't feel like fighting this time. But, in the midst of lovely touching, he suddenly got up and washed his hands! My Peoria personality took over then, my virginity still intact, and I sent him off.
My father was out of his head. His eyes glaring, his face all mean and twisted, he accused me of being a whore, of sleeping with Paul Jordan, of being a slut, etc. I went out of the room and never spoke to him again . . .
Back in Berkeley, I moved in cold calculation to sleep with someone, anyone, as my father had accused me of doing. It was a law student in my radical study group, whose deformed arm had kept him out of the war. I don't remember any joy, any feeling, except he was appalled when he discovered I was a virgin. (Berkeley, California, 1944)
from Life So Far: A Memoir by Betty Friedan (Simon & Schuster, © 2000)
© 2000 Nerve.com, Inc.
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