Lisa: Your website links to naked pictures of you. Why?

Paul: To show disabled people are still sexual beings.

Lisa: Do you do any "made to order" photos of yourself?

Paul: Yes, I do requests as long as they can be done on the web cam.

Lisa: Have other disabled people written to say what you're doing is cool?

Paul: Yes, some disabled and non-disabled people have sent me emails to keep up the good work. Unfortunately, many are from men who fancy me!

Lisa: Were you this much of an exhibitionist before the accident?

Paul: No, I was very shy before my accident. Dealing with lots of nurses doing extremely personal things to you — sometimes in front of other people — knocks off your shyness.

Lisa: How did the accident happen?

Paul: I was driving up a narrow country lane, and there was a blind corner. A garbage truck too wide for the road was coming down toward me; it went over the top of the car. It broke my neck, so now I'm a quadriplegic. My nervous system was damaged along with my spinal cord. I can feel touch, wind, etc., but nothing sharp or hot or cold from the chest down. My arms are okay though. I have partial use of my legs, and can stand on them if my leg muscles spasm and lock in place, but I still have to hold onto something or someone for support. My balance is not brilliant, as I have no chest or stomach muscles. That means I look tubby even though I am the ideal weight for my height.

Lisa: How do friends and family react when they learn you still have a sex life?

Paul: The family of my girlfriend asked her if I could still "do it" — and was I any good?!

Lisa: How do you do it?

Paul: It takes planning. I wear a leg bag for pee . It can also serve as a condom, but if I want to take it off to have sex, I can't drink fluids for three hours beforehand and I have to use a catheter. Sex is altogether less spontaneous since the accident. I no longer get hard just thinking about sexy things, but I can stay hard as long as I'm played with. I get frustrated that I can't do some things, but I try to make up for it with imagination and doing the things I can do very well. For instance, I can't be on top, but a girl can ride me for hours. I can have sex with a girl sitting on me in my wheelchair, but it's better on the floor or my bed. I don't have to try to balance when lying flat (plus it's less stress on the wheels). I had sex even while I was still in hospital. I can only have an orgasm while kneeling — I sit back on my legs, and the muscle spasm from my legs gives me that extra oomph. I also like oral sex, both giving and receiving.

Lisa: How have your relationships with women changed since the accident?

Paul: I tend to try harder to please a girlfriend now, so they stay and are not taken away by the first non-disabled person who comes along. Like meals out, flowers, lots of attention. The girl I was engaged to at the time of my accident went off with my cousin who was bringing her to and from the hospital (I was there for nine months). So, I look for a girl I can trust. I've lost confidence because of some bad experiences. I dated a girl and we went for a meal, then I gave her a lift on my chair to the car, got kissing in the car then she touched my leg bag. I told her what it was and she seemed to be okay about it. I took her home, but she phoned later and said she wanted to be just friends. When I'm driving, quite a few girls eye me up, but when I push past them later in the wheelchair, they look the other way.

Lisa: Does a certain kind of woman tend to be attracted to a fellow in a wheelchair?

Paul: Some women flirt with me because they feel sorry for me or they're drunk. Some flirt because I am "safe." A lot of people touch me — possibly because I am down low and seem cuddly. I get a lot of patting on the head.

Lisa: Does it annoy you that people see you as safe, or do you figure, what the hell, if it works . . .?

Paul: It does hurt my feelings a bit, because being safe can be seen as not being sexual. It's nice to be cuddled but you know it's only because they feel sorry for you and very rarely does anything come of it. Some women sit on my lap, but they always worry if my legs can take it. I tell them I had a sixteen-stone girlfriend who used to take rides all the time! I used to go out with one male friend and I'd pull all the girls. He would get jealous and complain, "What do you see in him that you don't see in me?" I have had a couple of one-night stands, too — one was married and one was the motherly type.

Lisa: Do you feel less sexual now?

Paul: I sometimes feel asexual, but this is only because people react to the chair — also, I am at a disadvantage because they can't see my bum.