Awesome Advice, Way to Go! This week: Am I jerk because I cheated?

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13The Source: David Wygant, Media Personality & Dating Expert

The Dilemma: You’re a male striking out with females. Could it be that you’re overlooking the small stuff — those little nuances that drive women crazy?

The Advice: Wygant begins his counseling sesh by addressing recent commenter allegations that he wears a toupee. He then affirms his heterosexuality and waxes philosophical about his dead father, all the while wearing a T-shirt that says “You Can’t Break My Spirit.” He gets to the dating advice about halfway into the nine-minute video. It’s a mix of etiquette tips and hints from the frat-house version of Hints from Heloise.

The Rebuttal: I’m not going to lie, Wygant comes through with a few gems. He’s right about women being turned off by dirty apartments, as well as folks who don’t wait their turn when boarding elevators and trains. But his faux vocab (“misconnect”?), female bashing (“You can’t go to bed without getting reprimanded!”), and aging L.A.-cokehead-style delivery makes me glad I’m not sitting next to him in a bar, being chatted up endlessly.

4The Source: Josey Vogels, Montreal Gazette

The Dilemma: “My girlfriend and I were arguing a lot…she treats me like a slave… and I guess I got sick of her ‘high maintenance’ attitude, because I ended up kissing someone more easy-going and fun. (I know, I’m a jerk.) I do feel bad about ‘cheating.’ My girlfriend took me back, but now I realize that was a mistake…”

The Advice: “Leave. I know it seems impossible, but you have to get out of this unhealthy relationship…You are not a jerk. It makes sense that you would have a fling with someone easy-going and fun when you’re living with constant criticism.”

The Rebuttal: Dear Jerk: you are a jerk. Not only for kissing someone else, but for putting a fact — i.e., the cheating — in quotations. People don’t “punch other people in the face” or “steal from the underwear department at Macy’s.” Be real with yourself about what you did, then break up with this person. You obviously aren’t happy with her.

3The Source: Oscar-nominated actress Taraji P. Henson, Men’s Fitness

The Dilemma: You want to date the mom from The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Bad.

The Advice: “A woman is gentle, soft, delicate, and a man’s position is to protect her, help her up stairs, make sure she’s in the car safely first. Take good care of your woman, and the sky’s the limit!

The Rebuttal: Wait, are you sure you don’t have women confused with Benjamin Button, Taraji? Perhaps you’re taking this method acting thing a bit far. Chivalry’s nice, but being treated like a septuagenarian is overdoing it. Next thing you know we’ll have dates showing up in rose petal-bedecked Hoverounds.

2The Source: Jessica Strul,

The Dilemma: There’s a man in the room. A naked man. Other than a series of butterfly kisses on the xyphoid process (duh), where exactly should I touch him?

The Advice: Strul offers up a series of seven sensual recommendations, ranging from the inner arms to the ridge of the neck.

The Rebuttal: Recommendation number two is a tongue to the ear, always risky with a new person. It’s like oysters — either you love it or you hate it. There’s also something really wrong about penis coming in dead last at number seven. The best way to touch a guy? Not per some women’s rag article, but wherever his physical (and hopefully verbal) feedback takes you.