Advice

Awesome Advice, Way to Go! This week: Twitter is not the place to discuss your relationship.

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feopleThe Source: Freople, described by its author as “The only twitter advice column that I know of,” on Twitter.com

The Dilemma: You’re having trouble with your relationships. You’re feeling disconnected. Unfulfilled. Perhaps there’s some minor intestinal bleeding, thoughts of suicide, and/or sore throat.

The Advice: “Say what you need to say to the people you love.”

The Rebuttal: If what you need to say to your lover falls within the character limit and gets you a re-Tweet from Joel Madden, then you know it’s meant to last forever (or at least until the next social networking technology.) Seriously though, if you have something to get off your chest, best stick with in-person conversation and phone calls. As America’s elected officials have proven, Twitter is not a good forum for sharing important information.


fox-newsThe Source: Dr. Yvonne K. Fulbright, FOXSexpert

The Dilemma: “You want her oh-so-badly. But she wants to shower first. Talk about a mood killer.”

The Advice: “From the time we hit puberty, females are expected to buy feminine hygiene products, like douches and deodorant sprays, despite the damage they can cause… Given that most females are raised with the idea that their genitals are ‘dirty,’ it may take a while for either party to undo the damage that has been done. Positive reinforcement over time should, however, help the cause.”

The Rebuttal: Fun Fact: there are many people who like to shower before sex. Fun Fact #2: half of them don’t even have vaginas. While the article’s intention is good, it’s important to ask the right questions, lest you label a personal preference as pathology.


happenThe Source: Margot Carmichael Lester, happen, dating magazine of Match.com

The Dilemma: Unforgiving in Uxbridge writes, “My boyfriend admitted the other night that he cheated on me during a business trip… He’s asked for forgiveness, and I know that’s the ‘right’ thing to do. But I don’t want to do it. And even if I do, how can I ever trust him again? He travels all the time.”

The Advice: “When he’s on the road, you have to assume he’s not doing anything naughty. When you can’t get him on the phone or via instant message, you have to tell yourself he’s just doing something innocuous…  Again, most of the work is yours. That’s because as long has he’s being gentlemanly, there’s not a whole lot else he can do to earn your trust.”

The Rebuttal: Not a whole lot he can do? What about being more available for texts and phone calls? Getting a job where he doesn’t have to travel all the time or taking her along on some of his jaunts? Twenty-four hour surveillance isn’t fair, but even Hardee’s employees have to undergo a probationary period after getting caught sneaking hotdogs.


online-dating-magazine

The Source: Dr. James Houran, Online Dating Magazine

The Dilemma: “I have recently started chatting with someone online… What I really need to know is how to go about sending messages to her so that I do not seem over-eager, or a stalker for that matter?”

The Advice: “Recent research shows what topics women like to talk about online, as well as what issues are major turn-offs. Knowing this information might help to guide your messages so you come across as interesting and most importantly, safe,” says Dr. Jim. On Dr. Jim’s YES list are: “hopes and aspirations,” “dreams,” and “romance.” On Dr. Jim’s NO list are: “politics,” “history,” “celebrities,” and “science fiction.”
The Rebuttal: I can’t speak for all ladies, but I’d rather talk smack about Proposition 8 and Lil’ Wayne than have you over-share about your dead grandpa, chocolate-dipped strawberries, and unsold screenplays. A woman’s profile itself, not some pseudo-scientific list, is always your best source of conversation-starters.


Read any sex or dating advice so odious it must be shared with the masses? Send it to erin@nerve.com with “Awesome Advice” in the subject.