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Nerve has hired the Infinite Monkeys as bloggers. They’ll almost surely find some news. 

Infinite Monkeys are overjoyed that our candidate for president has finally thrown his toupee in the ring.

Stephen Colbert made a joke about it but also referenced James Joyce as it was Bloomsday yesterday (which the Nerve editors might have realized if they were not compete philistines.) Comedians couldn’t control themselves at the news and Neil Young was pissed.

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But we support The Donald with all our monkey hearts. He’s the only orange human we know that has the time share condo presentation level of gravitas that we need in our leaders. We want to put our tiny paws in his giant job-creating hand and let him walk us to the path of total freedom. He’s the only one who can rebrand America. U-S-A!

You are our savior now, Donald! Seriously tho. Can we move in with you? We’re very clean sometimes.

More bananas!